And so happy Christmas and a happy New Year

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do much posting in the next couple of days. My in-laws are set to arrive tomorrow evening sometime and most of the next few days will be spent in the traditional holiday activities: eating, watching movies and avoiding conflict. I do have some excellent stories to share, but I'm afraid they'll have to wait until the New Year. I want to tell you all about my experience with Grapples (apples that have been genetically modified to taste like grapes) as well as my first experience curling, for which I was rewarded with an orange. I didn't really see the whole "fruit theme" until I wrote that.

Mmm. Interesting. Who doesn't like fruit? Communists and hooligans, that's who.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a good holiday.

Merry Christmas, baby

Congratualtions are in order once more as my friends jpunk5 and kimbee gave birth (well, kimbee gave birth) to a lovely daughter on Dec 12th. The baby is healthy and happy and the lucky owner of a skull emblazoned onesy made for her by her proud papa.

A hundred floors above me in the Tower of Song

I read an interesting article in the Pamphleteer (the Providence College student paper) about their peaceful protest at St. Vital for Buy Nothing Day. I didn't know about this event, but I can tell you this: I agree with the sentiment.

I was in St. Vital on Friday night. Now I'm not really a mall person at the best of times, but to be in mall on a Friday evening just a few short weeks before Christmas? I'd rather be whipped naked through the streets of Transcona.

After five minutes of browsing in Chapters (which used to sell books), I found my way to a bench to wait out my time. Sitting on that bench, I was saddened at the sights around me: children whining for "more, more, more;" parents spoiling their offspring by giving in to their every whim; parcels, bags and package.

Later, when I got home, I put in "A Charlie Brown Christmas." As Charlie lamented the commercialization of the holiday, I thought back to my time at St. Vital and my inner-Brown sighed: Good grief.

Preserving the old ways from being abused

Happy St. Nicholas Eve, everybody. I hope that the former bishop of Turkey stops by your house with his six to eight black friends. "They might put some candy in your shoes, they might stuff you in a sack and take you to Spain, or they might just pretend to kick you."

God save Donald Duck, Vaudeville and Variety

I haven't updated in a while. There have been plenty of things to write about but most of them are/were either a) somewhat confidental and therefore inappropiate to comment on, or b) time sensitive and time just passed me by.

Despite the fact that it doesn't officially begin for another few weeks, it's winter. Winnipeg is capital-C cold. And snowy. Althought we didn't get dumped with as much snow as most of the country, I'm feeling the lower-back tightening that comes from shovelling. There have been more than a few white-knuckled drives home from Otterburne, which segues nicely into my big bit o' news. I won't have to make that long drive after June: I've been offered a full-time position at Booth College as Assistant Professor of English Literature and Film. I begin my new job July 1st.

Hey, baby

Congratulations are in order.

A tip of the hat to my friend, Jaimie, and her husband, Andrew, on the birth of their daughter, Hanna. I've seen pictures and she's very cute.

Jai guru deva om

All right, I promised (Tom) I would talk about Julie Taymor's Across the Universe and that's what I'm going to do.

I liked it. A lot.

If you like the music of the Beatles (and if you don't, you might be trying too hard to be alternative and contrary), you pretty much have to like this film, because it's all about the Beatles - and not just their music. There are clear parellels between the lives of the characters and the life of the band, including a rooftop concert.

My one criticism (that the story starts too conventionally), admittedly, doesn't hold much water, as it makes perfect sense within the context of the Beatles. The Beatles started out like a dozen other bands, playing rhyme and blues riffs with silly, conventional lyrics. This is reflected in the story - boy travels to America to find his father; he meets a love and falls in love. As the 60s roll on, and the music of the Beatles becomes more experimental, Julie Taymor, the genius behind the live -action The Lion King, gets a chance to shine with shunning visuals and puppets.

I was a little apprehensive about how the music would be incorporated - Beatles' music tends to assume an iconic status, after all - but I was completely happy with how the songs were incorporated into the plot. At times, the new circumstances were interesting shifts ("I Wanna Hold Your Hand" as a song from a closeted lesbian cheerleader to another cheerleader); other times, new circumstances added a new depth to the song ("As My Guitar Gently Weeps" as an elegy for MLK Jr, or "Let it Be" as an anthem for the Detroit riots).

Nothing's going to change my world

I thought this post was going to discuss Julie Taymor's Across the Universe, which I saw this past weekend. However, when I found out this afternoon that Deborah Kerr died, I decided to change gears and remember Kerr.

In his autobiography, A Life in Movies, British director Michael Powell reflected on the special relationship he shared with Deborah Kerr (pronounced Carr - "Kerr rhymes with star," as early studio press releases claimed): “I realized that Deborah was both the ideal and the flesh-and-blood woman whom I had been searching for ever since I had discovered that I had been born to be a teller of tales and a creator of dreams” (413). Powell’s observation about what he perceived as a dual identity – at once ideal and earthly – fittingly characterizes a quality of Kerr’s screen identity in British films, which Powell himself helped crystallize: the struggle between two identities to form one complex screen persona.

Kerr first came to the public’s attention portraying Jenny in Pascal’s Major Barbara (1940). Even in her first few roles, Kerr’s obvious beauty and star quality stood out. A contemporary review remarked:

She certainly attracts the attention of everybody who comes near her, for she is
what they call a "Botticelli blonde"---reddish-gold hair, light blue eyes, and a
face capable of expressing "spiritual wistfulness."… She is a lovely girl. She
is crystal fresh in quality. She has intelligence, and that uncommon quality of
common sense which endear the best young American actresses to the world's
audiences.

(Picture Post 7 December 1940)

She was likely best remembered for her role as Anna in The King and I, but Kerr leaves behind a substantial body of critically acclaimed work: Powell and Pressburger's The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp (1943) and Black Narcissus (1947), Korda's Perfect Strangers (1945) From Here to Eternity (1953, and The Innocents (1961) to name but a few.

I try to be like Grace Kelly

Yeah, so I haven't posted in a long time. Sorry about that. My dog ate it.

Not much to report or review - my job has been taking up the majority of my time. Since Sept 25 I've been teaching an intensive course that adds 6 in class hours to my week (and that's not including prep and marking time). It'll be wrapping up on November 6, which can't come fast enough. Not that it's a bad group of students or anything. Truth be told, this might be the most dedicated group I've had. It just takes a lot out of me. When I get home, all I want to do is nap.

On Tuesday we had another Booth College movie night, and we screened Hitchcock's Rear Window for a group of 10 or 12.


I was responsible for leading discussion afterwards, and while I'm not sure how well that part went, response to the film was generally positive. I hadn't seen the film in a couple of years and had forgotten how much I love it. There's just something awesome about seeing classic films on a big screen. Next month: Double Indemnity.

In Jersey anything's legal as long as you don't get caught

Well, the semester's underway, classes have begun and we're now in full academic swing (which, by the way, is the worst looking dance ever). Looks like I have a promising crop of eager minds this year.

It's a little different being a real professor, and I'm still figuring out the whole meeting/committee responsibilities. It definitely fills up a huge part of my time. Because I'm half time at two different places, I'll need to find a way of balancing these demands with teaching and scholarship.

In other news:

The new Indiana Jones film has a name. On May 22nd, I'll be watching Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Can't say that title instills me with a lot of hope, but I'll reserve judgment.

I was born in a beauty salon...

Well, my life's about to get a lot more busy. Classes start up next week and both schools are already abuzz with students and doings.

Spent most of last week in the pictureseque RM of Gimli, Manitoba. My brother-in-law got married and many people from my wife's family came in for the wedding. We all stayed in a quaint little cabin.

Went to see Mr Bean's Holiday on Tuesday and I don't think I've been as disappointed in a film since Star Wars: Episode One. Many of the reviews I've seen since have stated that you either like Mr. Bean or you don't; your response to the movie rests on this. I like Mr. Bean, and have for many years, but I HATED this movie. I hardly laughed at all. Most of the good bits were just rehashed (in one way or another) for more interesting bits of the television show. There was a subtextual theme of art and filmmaking (Bean travels to Cannes and wackiness ensues at the Cannes Film Festival), but frankly I couldn't have cared less. Instead of Willem Dafoe, I thought the role of the arrogant, self-absorbed filmmaker should have been played by Rowan Atkinson. Heck, if Mike Myers can do it in every Austin Powers film, why not? Most people in North American only know Atkinson as Bean, but his work as the charmingly wicked Blackadder is far superior to the mostly-silent character. Allowing Atkinson to do a Blackadder-like character within a Mr. Bean film would give some exposure to this talented comedic-actor.

While I was sitting in the theatre watching Mr Bean go through the motions, I got to thinking about sketch-based films and movies that should be short subjects. Mr Bean works as a half hour show, but when he screws up for the umpteenth time and, one more time, can't manage to get on the train for Cannes, we move past funny. Most Saturday Night Live films fall into this category: it was funny as a sketch, but a 90 minute film is pushing it. Then I began thinking about the number of trailers for upcoming movies that seem to be trying to make a full-length feature out of a 10 minute concept. Take Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, for instance. Yes, there's a talented cast (Jenna Fischer, John C. Reilly) and crew (Judd Apatow) but is a full-length spoof of Walk the Line really necessary?

I know a woman, became a wife

I highly recommend that readers in the city of Winnipeg go check out Theatre by the River's production of Shakespeare's Two Gentleman of Verona, which is running at the Cricket Pavilion at Assiniboine Park. Suggested donation is $10, and there's really no reason NOT to check it out. The play runs August 19, 21-26. Go. Now.

The play is thought to be Shakespeare's first, and, while not as sophisticated as later plays, establishes themes and motifs he would return to in later comedies: the inconstancy of love and the ridiculousness of courting rituals, disguise. And there's a few amusing bits with a dog. The play is rarely performed, so this is an excellent opportunity to see a competent (and, at times, inspired) production of a lesser-known Shakespeare play.

The Theatre by the River company does an excellent job with the material, particularly in adding some extra comedic bits with the outlaws and the characterization. Brent Hirose (who I'm pretty sure was in my sister-in-law's play "The Apple-seed Girl") turns Sylvia's father into a George W. Bush character. In the hands of lesser actor, ALL the laughs would come from this and the character would seem an ineffectual clown, but Hirose allows the father to be both slow and menacing when needs be. My favourite interpretation was Megan Herkert's take on Speed, Valentine's servant. In a striking business-suit and with an ever-present cellphone, Speed becomes a capable personal assistant. She's not a clown; when she chides her master for his love, it bares the weight of experience. The friendship of Speed and Launce becomes one of unrequited love, with Speed's lines tweaked to suggest her affection and longing for Launce. The scene in which Speed reads the qualities of Launce's love becomes almost heart-wrenching. I thought this (particularly Herkert's impressive range) added a missing level of sophistication to the play.

The cast (Derek Leenhouts, Rod Beilfuss, Lisa Nelson -who must have darn-near froze in her costume, Mel Marginet, Matt TenBruggencate - who, in defiance of WC Fields' mantra, works with the dog, Robbyn Michal, and James Firby) show that creative and unique theatre experiences are still possible in the city.

PS Superbad is supergood.

"Save it for the talk room, son"

It's hard to believe that we're nearing the end of summer. In fact, I refuse to believe it. I'm saying it's still July 5th. Who's with me?

The next week holds meetings and family things. I'm not sure which I'm looking forward to more.

Figure four is half of eight

I saw Stardust on the weekend. It's very good. Michelle Pfeiffer has followed up her 5 year hiatus from filmmaking with two of the best villians of the year: Velma Von Tussle in Hairspray and the witch Lamia in Stardust.

I run hot and cold when it comes to fantasy. I didn't read a lot of it as a kid. I've never read A Stitch in Time or The Hobbit. I've never read any Robert Jordan, though I have made it through the Lord of the Rings and the Narina books, but even these highly enjoyable works have done little to prompt me to venture further into the world of magic. Neil Gaiman, whose works, which include the novella on which the film is based, were first suggested to me by the pixie-ish Jaimie, has become a favourite author.

I sit and think about the day that you're going to die

Saw a number of movies this weekend, and all of them were pretty good. Firstly, there was The Simpsons Movie/Bourne Ultimatium double bill at the drive-in. Drive-ins are pretty cool, and take me back to the simpler times of my childhood. In today's environmentally conscious age, however, I believe that idling my car to recharge the battery between movies borders on irresponsibility. We opted to bring radios (which we used for the Simpsons) and then use the car for Bourne.

The Simpsons Movie is good, but not great. I haven't watched new episodes of Simpsons in over four years; I felt they'd hit a wall creatively and were bogged down with endlessly self-referential scripts. The film played like a really good episode, more along the lines of season 2-5. They could, being a movie, push the envelope a bit farther in terms of language and crudeness, but they stayed pretty tame.

The Bourne Ultimatium was very, very good. After a heavily Bourne-influenced Bond film(Casino Royale), I was curious to see where this film series, which many credit for the more serious tone in the 007 franchise, would go. It didn't get bogged down with silly and superfluous subplots or love interests, it was all out action in the best possible sense of the word.

Finally, I saw Hairspray, which left me with a bit of mixed reaction. I really liked what I saw and thought the musical numbers were fun, but something left me cold. I realized afterwards that part of what I was feeling was the realization that a lot of what made John Waters' original film so different was left out: Penny's imprisonment with the psychairst, Tracey's turn in special ed and her time in jail, the final dance off, the hair-bomb. Some of these changes are understandable - you have to cut out somethings to make room for plot; other changes just seem misguided, like having Amber's mom the station manager. Okay, it's 1962 and black people can't dance on television with white people, but a SINGLE WOMAN runs a television station? Also, the scene of her trying to seduce Tracey's dad makes no sense WHATSOEVER! The actors are good, the direction is interesting, the music is engaging, but it's strange changes like this that annoyed me. I mean overall I was pleased, but thought it could have been much better.

An ocean’s garbled vomit on the shore

Ingmar Bergman (1918 -2007)

In Memoriam

It's hard and I got harder

The half-hour walk to work has left me a sweaty, sticky mess. I really hope this afternoon's expected thunderstorms do something about this humidity. The way people talk, humidity is a relatively new thing in Manitoba, though complaining about the weather is as old as the hills.

Of course the sub-Arctic conditions in my office will likely give me pneumonia. I love how we compensate for the excessive heat by turning our homes and offices into meatlockers. And then, once February rolls around, we'll crank up the heat in those same buildings to compensate for the minus 40 weather outside. When you're inside you need a sweater in the summer and shorts in the winter... Yeah, that makes sense.

If I were a rich man...

After spending the majority of the weekend Fringing it, I find myself at a bit of a loss about what to say/recommend. Incredibly, I liked everything I saw. Sure, some plays/performances were better than others, but, on the whole, I was more than happy with each thing we went to. In fact, the only terrible, pretentious crap I had to sit through were the other Fringers in line trying to pass themselves off as cultured and refined. "Oh, we saw that company four years ago, and they were all right... if you like that sort of thing."

It was incredible to watch this group of 5 or 6 strangers try to one up each other with references to past Fringe shows and bemused indifference to all the plays they had seen and the plays other people mentioned. "Oh, that didn't make 'The List'." (NB not "my list", but "The List). And what was even funnier was that they all seemed, when it was all said and done, to have taken each other's advice on what NOT to see.

All right, some things I'd recommend:

"A Woman of Independent Means" - flawless acting, engaging story, but, if I'm honest, too long and traditional for a true Fringe show. This easily could be at MTC or PTE.

"Was THAT My 15 Minutes?" - Susan Jeremy can hold an audience in the palm of her hand. Plus, some awesome old-school break dancing.

The Alix Sobler/Jason Neufeld plays: Honestly, I thought Alix's play was tighter and more interesting, but Jason's is certainly worth seeing. A brilliant concept for a series of plays. I'd recommend seeing his play first.

"The Feel Goods": My soon-to-be-official family ties to the writer notwithstanding, this was a very good and very funny play. It got a really good review from CBC (four bars!) and compared it to Wes Anderson The Royal Tenenbaums.

"Giant Invisible Robot" - Jayson MacDonald's touching and funny one man show about a guy's relationship with a Giant Invisible Robot (or GIR). Hard to sum up, but easily one of the most inventive shows at this year's Fringe.

"The Problem" - Mentioned in my last entry, this short play got a 5 star review from CBC. I really hope that translates into ticket sales. The audience of 12 I saw this play with certainly did not reflect the quality of the work.

"The Genghis Khan Guide to Etiquette" Poetry-cum-stand-up. Rob Gee is an engaging and insightful performer.

"Who the Devil are You?" Chris Gibbs' "play" about self-discovery. Gibbs is one of the best acts on the Fringe tour. His rapport with an audience is second to none. Worth seeing for his monologue and asides.

"Decameron:" South Africa's Erik de Waal's take on Boccaccio's 14th century masterpiece. de Waal transfers the setting of the framing narrative to a house of ill-repute rather than the rural Fiesole. I was a little surprised that he began with Boccaccio's bawdiest tale, a tale so off-colour that translators used to leave that particular story untranslated. De Waal is a master storyteller, who handles the tone of different stories well.

Sound and Fury's Cyranose: I read one review that criticized this much-loved troupe of being too bawdy. This "critic" either hasn't been to many Sound and Fury shows (that's their humour) or is very easily offended (most of their "bawdy"jokes are merely suggestive). What I like about Sound and Fury, besides their anarchic sense of humour, is that the actors actually greet you as you come in to the theatre. They talk to you, joke with you and even help you find a seat (their shows sell out).

Me Used to be an Angry Young Man

Well, it's Fringe time in Winnipeg once again.

I always enjoy the Fringe festival and try to see my share of plays. This year, as my work schedule is much more flexible than it has been in previous years, I'll likely get to a dozen or so plays. Last night I saw the first of those - Maxim and Cosmo by TJ Dawe. Dawe is a perennial favourite; his shows are always witty, insightful and very funny. This one is no exception. My only problem was the venue. Backstage at MTC has poor acoustics. I've seen Dawe is a number of different venues and know he can project, but people in the back row had trouble hearing him. If you go, try to sit close to the front.

I'm also REALLY looking forward to The Feel Goods (Venue 11) - and not just because my future sister-in-law wrote and stars in it. I saw a workshop reading of it a while ago, but apparently there have been some changes. Can't wait to see what they are.

UPDATE:

This afternoon I ducked out of the office and saw "The Problem," a wonderful absurdist piece that's playing at the air-conditioned Venue 10. A former student of mine, Jared Falk, is in it and, I must say, it's really good. It's a short play - only 25 minutes - so, if The Fringe isn't your thing or you're unsure about theatre in general, it's a minimal time commitment.

And kept my mind from wandering

Saw the new Harry Potter film last night and with the exception of the packed theatre, it was a mostly enjoyable experience. The film is, as most reviewers have pointed out, considerably darker than previous entries, but given the tone of the book is that any surprise? I thought the real highlight was Imelda Stauton as the prickly, prissy Undersecretary-cum-schoolmistress, Dolores Umbridge.After all, true evil comes not in meancing facades, but in pink hairy jumpers. The reveal of her Hogswart office caused me to laugh right out loud.

Unfortunately, with all the intrigue and, let's face it, plot, many of the secondary characters, who flesh out Harry's universe, are lost in the shuffle: young Malfoy, Potter's long time foil, is reduced to mere utilitarian role as an Inquisitor; Professor McGonagall has just one or two good scenes.

I just don't know what to do with myself...

In which our protagonist complains about the amount of moving he's done in recent weeks

I hate change. Hate it with a fiery passion. Once the change takes place I'm all right, but during the period of change, not so much. Even good change. I'm in a time of change right now and I recognize it as good change (starting new jobs in my chosen field, moving into better offices, leaving jobs where I'd hit a wall) but I still hate the process.

Today I moved offices again. I was going to stay in the office I've had for the past year, but I found out that the office next door (which has shelves and a much better work space) is free. I emailed the Dean, who emailed the President, and viola! So, after spending last week setting up my old office the way I wanted it, organizing my notes and files, I've spent the better part of the day undoing all that work and re-establishing it one room over...

Be we in Paris or in Lansing

In which our hero relates his recent - and utterly humiliating - experience with airport security

I pride myself at how well I fly. I arrive early at the airport, I have all my documentation ready to display, and I have never been (even moderately) hassled. I don’t set off metal detectors and, despite flying in the US a few months after 911, I have never been asked to remove my shoes. And I don’t pack liquids in my carry-on. In fact, I turn in disgust from people who, apparently living under rocks, are forced to empty their bags of toothpaste, cologne, perfume.

Whether it’s my diligent prep work (making sure I have removed most metal objects and all liquids from my person) or the fact that I am the MOST unassuming person in the history of world, security people barely seem conscious of my existence. However, all that changed when, flying home from Toronto, I set off the metal detectors.

I was a little taken aback when the buzzer sounded. “That never happens,” I thought to myself.

The unhappy-looking security person mumbled something about holding my arms out and if it was okay to run the wand over my person. I consented. The wand registered metal at all the buttons on my jeans and at my belt buckle. I knew what was coming next…

“Can you undo you belt, please, sir?”

“Sure,” I said, trying to seem helpful but not eager.

“Just hold the ends apart, please, sir.” And I did. The wand registered metal in the proper places and, while I stood there with my belt undone, she set about scanning the rest of my body, finding acceptable traces of metal in my shoes; however, the next place the wand registered metal confused me: the middle of my thigh!

“May I pat you down, please, sir?”

Running her hand down my thigh, she came across the hem of my boxer/briefs. She used the wand and it registered metal.

“What’s that, sir?”

“Um, my underwear.” Unpleasant visions of being strip-searched danced in my head along with a million questions: Have Fruit of the Loom started using metal thread? Does my underwear have an underwiring? Did I forget having a metal rod inserted in my leg? What’s setting off this stupid metal detector?

The unhappy security guard waved male colleague over.

“Would you mind if my partner feels inside your pants(!)?”


“Not at all,” I lied. I don’t know why she thought I’d be more comfortable with a man rooting around in my pants.

The man… felt around, but came up with nothing interesting (insert your own joke here).

So the unhappy lady continued to wand me. Almost immediately something in my back pocket registered metal – my wallet! I always put my wallet in the tray to go through the x-ray machines, but for some reason I’d forgotten.

“Can you taken that out, please sir?”

Removing my wallet with one hand (my other hand was busy keeping my pants up), I handed it over. She wanded the wallet – and it registered metal. She re-wanded my thigh – no metal. The wand was picking up the metal from my wallet through my thigh!

After a few minutes of removing things from my wallet, we discovered the source of the problem: my pass key card for Booth. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

It's not the pale moon that excites me

Well, the new job(s) started this week and I've spent most of the past few days setting up my offices - one in Winnipeg, one in Otterburne. I've been hanging picutres, filing, and trying to get some sense of which of my many summer projects need the most attention. I still have another day or so of filing to do; hopefully I can start next week off in a reasonably organized space.

Went to a Bar BQ last night. Friends from Calgary were in town and the event was hosted by friends in the city whom we don't see as much as we should. There were a few other families there and, in total, about 7 hundred children. I have to say, kids hopped up on hotdogs and sugar: better than television.

I promise I will post more very soon. This has been an exceptionally busy week and the time to blog has been eaten up with other, more pressing matters.

Let Me Clear My Throat

Everything's going to be all right now. "But we've missed you, Mike," you say. "Our lives just aren't as sunny without your aecerbic wit."

There, there, little ones. Daddy's home.

The past month or so has been particularly crazy. My parents came for a week-long visit (sans sister, who has expected and backed out at the last minute ofr reasons I don't want to get into) and to watch me graduate. They were also here for my most-excellent grad Party. So, rather than posting, my time was spent touring them around the city of Winnipeg. We hit the main attractions: the Forks, the Exchange, the UM. I was going to take them out to Steinbach to see the Mennonite Historical Village but the weather had other ideas.

The graduation was very nice - long but nice. The Governor General is an engaging speaker and I enjoyed the fact that she (long with my wife and mother) applauded every graduate who crossed the stage.

My parents left on the Sunday, and I turned around to visit them, so I could be there for my Dad's 60th birthday party (which was a surprise).

I had a nice time in Ontario and was able to visit with a few people (Jaimie; my goddaughter Del and Chris and Jenn; my highschool friends), but those trips home always seem so rushed. There's always a few more people I would have liked to see. I really would have liked to get to Waterloo and visit there, but there just wasn't time.

Since arriving back in Winnipeg, I've been to a farewell lunch for my wife (she's leaving her job at the end of this week) and have set about sorting and organizing all the crap from my UM Press office - what goes to my new office? what gets thrown out?

I was so much older then...

I'm 32 today. And it's my last day of work at the UM Press. Pity I have to spend it in the asbestos-filled sweat box, assembling shelves.

Everywhere I go it rains on me

After the well-documented Spiderman 3 fiasco, I was a little reluctant to go to the movies the other night. But I sucked it up and went. And as much as I hated Spiderman 3, I loved Sarah Polley's amazing Away from Her. Based on Alice Munro's short story, "The Bear Came Over the Mountain," Away From Her deals with effects of Alzheimer's on a couple. Having dealt with a grandmother who we had to put in a nursing home and gradually lost most of her short term memories, I was particularly struck by the almost throw away scene of an unnamed older lady coming up to a sea of walkers with a confused look. She can't figure which one is hers; she knows she has a walker, needs a walker, but can't remember what hers looks like. It so perfectly captures the helplessness and fragility of mental illness.

Gordon Pinsent and (the still ravishing) Julia Christie are remarkable as the couple. Also, Kristen Thomson as the nurse, is brilliant. I haven't seen her in anything else, but her character is so interesting. The script, adapted by Polley who's only in her late 20s, is mature, senstive and thoughtful, never going sappy or 'movie of the week."

Sang a song about a honky-tonk, it was time to leave

Words can't express how much I hated Spiderman 3... well, a string of profanities could perhaps sum up my thoughts on the matter. This film was capital-T terrible. More than once during the course of the movie I turned to my wife and asked, "What the hell is this?" In fact, I spent most of the time asking questions as a way of keeping my brain active lest it explode. I thought I'd share of these questions with you:

Why does the Venom symbiote turns Peter Parker emo?
Where did Peter learn to dance and play the piano?
Doesn't the Sandman look an awful lot like Ernest? ("Know whadda mean, Vern?")
Why was Peter allowed back in the Jazz Room (my experience is that you tend to be banned from an establishment after beating up the bouncers)?
Isn't Stan Lee dead yet?
When Uncle Ben and Aunt May "swam out to the island" so that he could propose, where did he conceal the ring while he was in the water? It's got to have been on something or up somewhere. Why were Gwen and Capt Stacy at Harry's funeral when THEY DIDN'T KNOW EVEN HIM?
People can't figure out how to beat a guy made out of sand? Seriously?
Why did this film have 76 endings?

I'm so glad we used our free cereal box passes to see this. If I had paid money to see this festering turd of a moive, I might have been tempted to burn down the theatre. Now I just have to eat the cereal, which could never, thankfully, leave such a bad taste in my mouth as this film.

"It ain't a fit night out for man nor beast"

I love W.C. Fields. W.C. Fields is a comic after my own heart: he tells it like it is, isn't afraid to make himself the butt of the joke, doesn't care what people think. He didn't care for kids and didn't care who knew it. After starting out on the vaudeville circuit with people like Chaplin and the Marx Brothers, Fields moved into short silent comedies where he displayed his gift for physical comedy. But when talking pictures took over, Fields was able to show his gift for verbal comedy and made some of the funniest shorts and feature length films ever made. Here's a clip from the 1934 film where Fields, who consumed more booze than a French village, shows off his skills as a juggler.

Drops on roses and whiskers on kittens

I released something this morning: I've lived in Manitoba to recognize the ulitimate act of a desperate politican. PC leader Hugh McFayden announced the other day that if he's elected he'll bring back the Jets. Seriously? Gentlemen, I think the horse is dead, yet you continue to beat on it.

Whenever someone running for office realizes their snowball-in-hell's chance, they evoke that holy-of-holies name, the Winnipeg Jets. As someone who did not grow up here (and, frankly, hates hockey) I can't understand why people get so worked up about this issue. I can't understand why politicans promise to bring the team back after so many years.

It's NEVER going to happen. I probably have as much chance being made a team in the NHL.

Where, where have they gone? Now it's nothing but flowers

I know I've been a little behind with the updates, but, truthfully, I really haven't had much to say - no pearls of wisdom, no amusing stories. I've been working a bit. Not too much, mind you, but it's been more than a little bit frustrating. Most of my job this past week has involved the massive reorganization of our storage area at the UM. This translates as Mike moving a lot of very heavy boxes around a dungeon-like, asbestos-filled room. When I takes breaks, I'm too tired and sweaty to write things here. I tend to just sit around, gasping for breath and praying for sweet death to take me.



In the evenings I've been re-watching a couple of favourite films. Last weekend I watched His Girl Friday, Duck Soup, My Man Godfrey and The Thin Man. I also re-read Hammett's novel The Thin Man on the bus to work (it's a fairly short read, perfect for ignoring the Tilley Hat Man). This weekend I watched a few favourites and a few new films: a W.C. Fields' short ("The Fatal Glass of Beer") and feature (The Bank Dick), Notes on a Scandal and Hot Fuzz. Thought Notes on a Scandal was particularly good, but I couldn't decide what I found creepier: Judy Dench's character's obsession, the Cate Blanchett character's affair with a student or the fact that her husband was so bloody old. Seriously, the idea of Cate and Bill Nighy is almost as disturbing as her rolling around on the ground with a pimply-faced teenager.



Hot Fuzz is amazing. I am a big fan of Shaun of the Dead, but I think star/co-writer Simon Pegg and director/co-writer Edgar Wright have surpassed themselves with this film. Like Shaun, Hot Fuzz trends the thin line between comedy and satire. Yes, it's hilariously funny (mostly co-star Nick Frost), but there are moments of genuine shock and drama as well. The film is more than just a spoof, it has an edge and bite that makes everything mean more.



It also features a collection (sometimes just cameos) of some of the finest comedic talents in Britain: Martin Freeman ("The Office" and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), Bill Bailey ("Black Books"), Steven Coogan ("Alan Partridge," 24 Hour Party People, Tristam Shady), and Stephen Merchant (co-creator/writer/director "The Office").

I never knew the charm of spring

I've come to realization: I hate bikes.

In Winnipeg biking is a big deal. Even in the dead of winter some crazy person is peddling his or her way down the street. And I understand why biking is a good thing - better on the environment and healthier - but I'm tired of cyclists who either ignore the rules of the road or make up their own version of those rules. Personally, I love the driving-on-side-walk-until-they-decide-to-go-on-the-road trick. That's awesome.

The other day I was crossing the road at a designated intersection with a four way Stop. As I crossed, I was almost run over by a cyclist who didn't think the octagonal red sign applied to him.

I got an unexpected email from someone I believe is one of the funniest comedians currently working, letting me know about an upcoming gig. She trying to get an audience together as she tries out a new show. The problem is she's in England. I am not. So any readers who are in England, are going to be in England in the next little while, or know people in England: please, check out Nina Conti.

She's brilliant - the only ventriloquist I'd pay money to see and the only reason to watch For Your Consideration.

30 secrets about myself...

1. Is that your natural hair colour? Why would I colour my hair?
2. Where was your default pic taken? From the internet
3. What's your middle name? William
4. Your current relationship status? Married
5. Honestly, does your crush like you back? Probably not.
6. What is your current mood? Gregarious
7. What colour underwear are you wearing? green
8.What makes you happy? filling out these things
9. Are you musically inclined? Somewhat
10. If you could go back in time and change something what would it be? Rephrase: what would I keep the same?
11. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day- what would you be? I'm inclined to say dog, but too many dogs I know eat poop and I'm not cool with that. I'll say a mongoose. They're wily.
12. Ever had a near death experience? Not really.
13. Something you do a lot? Read.
14. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now? Banaanaa-na dadadadum
15. Who did you copy and paste this from?Melissa
16. Name someone with the same b-day as you? Ashley
17. when was the last time you cried? 4:19pm, I won't say what day.
18. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience? Oh, yes. And I'd like to go back in time a change at least two of those times: Edelweiss in Grade 6 production of The Stupid Sound of Stupid Music and a karaoke version of Dancing Queen.
19. If you could have one super power what would it be? Invisible, I guess, or super strength
20. What do you notice first off in a guy/girl? Gender.
21. What do you usually order from Starbucks? Coffee, the darker the better.
22. Whats your biggest secret? That I'm a sentimental softy. Don't tell anyone.
23. What's your favorite color? Black
24. When was the last time you lied? What time is it now?
25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows? Not really. I can't understand current kids' shows like Danny Phantom or the various Pokemon-esque card-game shows.
26. Do you have braces? Nope.
.27. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? My sparkling personality.
28. What are you eating or drinking atm? Nothing.
29. Do you speak any other language? Speak, not really. I read a few.
30. What's your favorite smell? Fresh nan bread.

My momma said, to get things done, you'd better mess with Major Tom

Surprise, surprise: I hate McDonalds' new marketing campaign. This time it's not an innocuous, brain-numbing jingle or celebrity whoring that's bothering me, it's the implications of their new bus ads. See, McDonalds apparently cares about their employees, but these new ads all seem to revolve around the romantic lives of their employees... and it's creeping me out. They say things like, "Should Susan break up with Tom and go out with Ryan," or "Look sharp, Stacey, your ex is around the corner."

Why does McDonalds care who their employees date? Is it really that important? If they really cared, wouldn't they do something to prevent the horrible grease burns that EVERYONE I know who's worked at Mickey Ds has? Isn't that a little more "caring" than worrying about Tim's over use of cologne or who Susie should ask to the dance?

Every whisper and caresss, yes, yes, yes, it was totally meaningless

Through the magic of Facebook, I have learned a little something to warms the cockles of my heart: I was mentioned as someone's favourite high school memory.

And I quote,

[High school] did have its few moments, like Revels - Christmas concert, especially the one that the 4 guys, can't remember their names, they did some skit and at the end they opened their coats and dropped banners that said "Merry Christmas". Looked like they were naked!!!! Funny stuff!

I've always been proud of the sketch and still get a chuckle when I watch the video.

All I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you

So, all my exams have been administered. And, though I have 45 handwritten exams that have to be graded in the next little while, it's time to turn my brain to happier things, like my summer reading list.

I intend to finish Anthony Powell's A Dance to the Music of Time, which in and of itself is quite the commitment. I just began the fourth novel (of twelve), after some internal debate. You see, I've sort of gone and developed a crush on one of the characters, Gypsy Jones. The problem is (and no, developing crushes on fictional characters is NOT a problem), Gypsy doesn't make another appearance until the sixth or seventh novel (I checked). She's MENTIONED quite regularly, almost as if the narrator has a similar (though in his case, unspoken) infatuation, but hasn't appeared since the second novel. I had considered skipping ahead, but decided that that would be cheating.

Yesterday a student asked me about an author, Walker Percy. I was looking up the title of the novel the student was seeking today, and found myself rather intrigued by some of Percy's other titles, particularly one called The Movie Goer.

I also intend to have another go at Satanic Verses. I've tried reading it before, but usually in the middle of the semester when there are a hundred more important (or at least pressing) things that need to be read.

While this list more than fills my summer, any others suggestions from my gracious readers?

The way you haunt my dreams...

Ipod Random 10:

1) "A Peak you Reach" Badly Drawn Boy
2) "I'm a Believer" The Monkees
3) "The Chimbley Sweep" The Decemberists
4) "Hallelujah" John Cale
5) "Jesus" Velvet Underground
6) "Red Right Hand" Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
7) "Maggie's Farm" Bob Dylan
8) "A Foggy Night" Ella and Louis
9) "The Seeker" The Who
10) "Tota pulchra es" Tallis Scholars

Movie Quizlet

Movie Quizlet

My friend Chris always has the best blog quizzes...

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.

I've seen a number of movies more than 10 times: Casablanca (over 40), Star Wars (over 30), Raiders of the Lost Ark and Scrooge (over 20), Ladykillers, Third Man, Lady Eve, Citizen Kane, Brief Encounter, Rushmore, Pulp Fiction (over 15)

2. Name a movie that you've seen multiple times in the theater.

Pulp Fiction, Royal Tenenbaums

3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.

Catherine Deneuve, Alec Guinness

4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie.

Will Ferrell, David Hasselhoff

5. Name a movie that you can and do quote from.

Casablanca

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.

Hmmmm, I probably still have all the lyrics to Sound of Music somewhere in my head.

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with.

I don't sing along.

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.

After years working in videostores, I gave up recommending movies. I will tell you what I like and you can make up your own mind. I really liked Grindhouse and I want to see The Hoax.

9. Name a movie that you own.

I own lots of movies... DVD, VHS and laserdisc.

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.

I think David Bowie can at times (he was great in The Prestige).

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?

As I kid I remember going to see the Swiss Family Robinson and a double bill of Summer Rental and Witness (which I slept through) . Recently, one of the Harry Potter films in a double bill with Scooby Doo 2 (which I slept through).

12. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven't yet gotten around to it.

John Sayles' s Lianna

13. Ever walked out of a movie?

Yes, once. It was a really boring film at the Toronto Film Festival. I'm someone who enjoys films that others find slow, but this one was too painful.

14. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.

Breaking the Waves

15. Popcorn?

At times.

16. How often do you go to the movies (as opposed to renting them or
watching them at home)?

Not very often, but I hope to make up for that.

17. What's the last movie you saw in the theater?

Grindhouse.

18. What's your favorite/preferred genre of movie?

I like all sorts of different kinds of films.

19. What's the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?

One of the Muppet movies. It might have been the Great Muppet Caper.

20. What movie do you wish you had never seen?

Casablanca, for the thrill of watching it again for the first time.

21. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?

What do you mean by weird? Like Eraserhead weird? Most people would say that the majority of the films I like are weird, but I'll say The Street Fighter - a fairly run of the mill karate-exploitation film.

22. What is the scariest movie you've seen?

Don't Look Now.

23. What is the funniest movie you've seen?

The Lady Eve, Duck Soup

And the anchorperson on TV goes "La dee da"

It should be so easy to write George Clooney off. There were the endless sitcom appearances ("Roseanne," "Facts of Life"); there were terrible movies before he became famous (Return of the Killer Tomatoes) and after (Batman and Robin).

The guy should be a punchline.... but he's not. He's cool, self-deprecating and very astute.

While Confessions of a Dangerous Mind was a great first film, Clooney's follow up, Good Night and Good Luck, is a true work of art, and is deserving of every accolade. It's political in the best sense of the word - not pretentious or preachy- examining the war of words between the bullying Sen. Joe McCarthy and Edward R. Murrow. In an age where television news reporters have become noteworthy for the kinds of threatening and deceitful tactics employed by McCarthy in his Communist witch hunt, this film has special significance. In an era when politicians are engaging in a similar witch hunt in the name of National Security, this film challenges all people to examine critically such methods.

For all it's style and intelligence, the film really hangs on two key castings: David Strathairn as Edward R. Murrow and Joe McCarthy. Clooney's decision to use actual footage of McCarthy is inspired, giving the audience some sense of this man's presence and style. Like Murrow and his team's decision to use footage of McCarthy in their initial piece, Clooney lets the junior Senator from Wisconsin, with all his venom and hatred, speak for himself. Strathairn has a long and impressive body of work behind him, but this turn as Murrow might be his finest work.

Well, the semester is steaming rolling to an end. I have about 40 or so papers left to grade before next week, and then 45 exams that are being written next week. Spent the afternoon grading... grading and procrastinating.

With all the marking (and a few other things that I can't get into just yet), I haven't had much time to post here. If I'm honest, Facebook has quickly abosrbed a lot of my internet time. Reconnecting with people from the very distnat past has been surreal, to say the least. People I went to grade school with have suddenly popped back into my life.

I mentioned my Facebook obsession in class recently and that evening half the class had requested to be my friend. I'm waiting until the end of semester to add them. Today I got a request from some guy I don't even know. He's the friend of one guy I know. Why would he want to be my friend? Why would I want to be his?

I went to the public library to return some books. I recently discovered that I can get from Portage Place mall all the way to the library without going outside! It takes about 20 minutes, and it's a relatively nice walk. After dropping off the books I had, I picked up the next volume of A Dance to the Music of Time (which has novels 4, 5, 6, 7 of a 12 novel narrative and Neil Gaiman's Fragile Things, which only came out a month or so ago. I was going to request it but figured it wouldn't be available for a while, and there it was on the shelves! I read the first short story, "A Study in Emerald," which is described as Sherlock Holmes meets Lovecraft. I think it's the most inventive and original non-Doyle Holmes story I have ever read. Brilliant.

It's a lovely day

Stupid computer clock!

For some reason my computer clock at work has re-adjusted from the time change. I've been thinking that it's a hour later than it actually is. I thought I was getting close to home time. I was terribly wrong.

If love is a red dress, well, hang me in rags

What does Easter mean to me? Chocolate bunnies and violent movies. I spent this Easter afternoon in my local multi-plex theatre watching Grindhouse and I was NOT disappointed.

My friend Chris over at Wrap me up and Call Me Jesus recently wrote about seeing this film, saying that the trailer for Rob Zombie's "Werewolf Women of the SS" was a bit of a let down. As a "fan" of the Ilsa flicks, I was expecting something really outstanding from this trailer. The bizarre Nazi women subgenre has plenty of fodder for a 45 second spot. What I got was good - due mostly to the cameos. Personally, I thought the "Thanksgiving" trailer was pretty amazing, and my personal favourite.

Although Planet Terror and Death Proof are quite different in tone, they compliment each other really well. The over-the-top gore of Rodriquez's installment (which works like a Carpenter/Romero film) didn't diminish the impact of QT's more white-knuckled installment. I don't think I cringed as much at any point as I did with some of the stunt driving in Death Proof

Even if you're not a fan of the violence, there is so much going on in Grindhouse that it's hard not to like it. The trailers and the terrible retro animation harken back to a time when movie going was a more visceral and carnal experience.

They call me William the pleaser

I would be remiss if I did not offer my congratulations to my dear friend Jaimie and her husband who have just announced that they are expecting their first child.

After I handed the final manuscript into the Grad Studies my brain just shut off. It's only now getting back up to speed. This what I have spent the past 6 years thinking, living and breathing. Frankly I'm a little surprised that the world didn't just end when the defense was over.

Again, I want to thank everyone (even strangers) for the words of congratulation. I really, really appreciate them. People have send me emails, phone calls, blog comments, posted signs on my door at work (thanks Linda), taken me out for lunch, offered hearty handshakes, promised to toast me with chocolate milk, planned cake, my class today even applauded.... It's all pretty surreal.

And now that that's taken care of, I can resume my blogging. Except that I don't have a sweet clue what to talk about anymore.

Pretty gross about Keith Richards snorting his father's ashes. I mean, who snorts a loved one? It's disgusting. Snorting Keith Richards's ashes, on the other hand, would likely be quite the buzz.

Me, Doctor?

The defense is over.

I've passed.

Woooo.

She blew my nose and then she blew my mind

D-day: Monday April 2nd, 9:30 am.

Now I'll never see heaven or home

It's 12:31 am and I just can't sleep. So here's a ton of useless information that no one will want to read:

Name: Mike
Brothers: 0
Sisters: 1
Eye color: Brown or hazel I suppose
Shoe size: 9
Height: 5'11"
What are you wearing right now?: track pants and a t-shirt
Where do you live? Winnipeg
Best place to go for a date: Beats me.
Favorites....
Number: 1 - it's the loneliest number
Boys Name: Don't have one
Girls Name: Any name I give here could be misinterpreted.
Drink: coffee, Diet Coke/Pepsi, and I'd never say no to a good stout or Brown ale
Month: May
Breakfast: coffee... sometimes food
Have You Ever...
Smoked: yes
Bungee jumped: so
Made yourself throw-up: Probably to fake sick. Nothing says "stay home" like barf
Gone skinny dipping: Yes
Loved someone so much it made you cry: All the time
Broken a bone: Maybe my pinky. I'm not sure
Played Truth or Dare: Yes, it was stupid.
Been in a police car: Should I have been?
Been on a plane: Yes
Came close to dying: Possibly
Been in a sauna: Yes
Been in a hot tub: Yes
Swam in the ocean: Yes, it was cold.
Fallen asleep in school: No. I'm afraid to sleep in public
Broken someone's heart: Stranger things have happened
Cried when someone died: Yep.
Cried in school: Maybe when I was really young.
Fell off your chair: Not lately.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Nope
Saved a IM conversation: No
Saved e-mails: Yes. I save a lot of emails. Why not?
Made out with just a friend: MMmm, yes.
Been cheated on: I think so.
What's your room like: Bedroom? Well it has a bed and videotapes.
What is beside you: A chair.
What is the last thing you ate: Gunn's Bagel
What kind of shampoo do you use: The kind in the shower.
Do You...
Believe in love at first sight: Oh, hell no.
Like picnics: they're all right.
Like school: Most of the time
Questions:
Who was the last person you called: My mom... she wasn't home.
Who was the last person you emailed: The Grad studies lady
Who was the last person you danced with: Rachel
Who makes you smile most: Lots of people make me smile.
Who...
Did you last yell at: I dunno.
Did you last go to a fair with: No one. I've never been to a fair.
Did you last sing a song with: Like as a duet? Dougie and I at a coffeehouse at WLU
Do you like filling these out?: Far too much.
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses: No
Do you like yourself: I have my moments.
Do you get along with your family: I suppose.
Final Questions:
What are you listening to right now: Tom Waits's Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards disc 1; I also have the opera Siegfried on the go.
What did you do yesterday? Taught a class at 4... but no one had read the book
Where do you want to get married: If I have to get married again, Vegas
Good driver: Sure, why not?
Good singer: I don't know.
Diamond or pearl: I couldn't care less
Are you the oldest?: The oldest what?
Indoor or outdoor: indoor
Today did you...
Talk to someone you liked: Yes.
Buy something: Not a thing
Get sick: No
Sing: No
Talk to an ex: No
Miss someone: Yes
Last person who....
Was in your bed?: Me
Saw you cry: I'm crying now
You went to the movies with: Rachel
You went to the mall with: I have no idea.
Have you...
Been to California: No
Been to Mexico: No
Beeen to Africa: No
Random.....
Do you have a crush on someone: Probably
What books are you reading now: Name of the Rose, Possession, Dance to the music of Time
What's under your bed: Monsters
Favourite movie to watch: Casablanca
Piercing/Tattoos: 0/0
What are you most scared of right now: Cheryl
Do you have a job?: I have many.
Have you ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with?: Of course.
Has someone liked you, but didn't have a chance? if they did I didn't know about it
Have you ever played strip poker: Maybe
Random (or not so random)
Your Favorite Food: Spaghetti
Have you ever cried for no reason?: No
Are you too shy to ask someone out?: Yes
Popcorn?: Sure, thanks.
Favourite Flower?: Plastic
Have you ever fired a gun?: Yes
Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car?: Depends on the distance.
How many pillows do you sleep with?: at least 2

I've fallen from grace for Lucinda

I'm going away this weekend. Actually, I leave tonight - right after class - so it's really more than a weekend. I need the break. I've brought my readers' reports with me so that I can process what my examiners will likely ask me in the oral defense.

Stayed late in Otterburne last night to catch the Providence full-length production, The Miracle Worker. Must say, I was quite impressed. And it was nice to have company on the long, dark drive home. Stupid night-time.

P.S. Tom Waits' Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards is a phenomenal, epic work.

Now it's a peaceful oasis

Not much time to post, but I thought I'd let you all know that I've finally heard back from Grad Studies. My dissertation has been accepted to procede to the oral defense. The date is still being worked out, but it will be soon (everything needs to be in by April 4). While there may still be revisions required, it's almost over!

In the cold, cold night

Today has the potential to be an absolutely crap day.

I realize that most of my days have that potential, but there are a couple of factors that could increase the crap-odds. First of all, it's bloody cold outside. After some moderate, even enjoyably warm days, Winter-peg has entered what I can only assume is a new Ice Age. All the snow that had melted on the weekend has re-frozen and it's a virtual skating rink out there today. I fully expected to see a Zamboni on the road as I made my way to work.

Went to see Music and Lyrics yesterday. We had free passes and it was the only thing we could agree on. About the best thing I can say about it is, if you grew up in the 80s, the film gets 80s music videos spot on. The films opens with such a music video and it's brillant: white jeans, bad hair and inexplicitly bizarra dance moves. Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore have reasonably good chemistry and are both fine in their respective roles, but the plot is largely paint-by-numbers.

But if you fall you fall alone

It was 2:20 in the morning. I was lying in bed looking at my clock, knowing that I had to get up in a few short hours...

I was total and complete toast today. Seriously. I have no idea if anything I said in class any made sense. I kept talking and talking. I'm pretty sure what I said was all in English, but I might have slipped into utter gibberish at times, who knows?

At the break a student came to talk to me and I just couldn't function at all. I was distracted by my notes, the computer, an odd stain on the desk. I kept trying to end the conversation, but couldn't. When she finally left, I went to the faculty lounge and sat in a big comfy chair.

I met a girl down at the disco

Went to show last night. We almost never go to shows anymore, especially on a week night. Oh, the tolls of age. But this was a special occasion: our friend's band, The Marquis, was playing. They're really really good, sort of country-folk-rock (think Neil Young, Blue Rodeo). They play a combination of originals and covers - their banjo-infused version of The Black Eye Peas' "My Humps" must be heard to be believed.

Okay, question time for everyone (that includes lurkers!!!)

You've just found a magic mirror that knows all and will answer one question with complete honesty.

What do you ask it?

Found poem... on my door

Mike,
You smell,
I can smell
you from
here. Hee hee.
Well, I came
by to see you
and you
weren't here.
Boooo! Have
a nice day
anyway.
Roz

Now I'm not dumb, but I can't understand...

I stood next to the WORST transvestite EVER on the bus this afternoon. Now, if you're a dude and you want to dress up in women's clothing, by all means be my guest. But this guy wasn't even trying. His cheap wig was all crooked; one of his clip-on earrings was clipped really high on his lobe, the other almost off his lobe; and his lipstick looked like it had been applied by a drunken baboon. Show a little pride in your work, Ma'm.

I can't get used to this lifestyle

I wish, wish, wish that I had something interesting to write today. The truth is it was a painfully dull weekend. The only real highlight was making my friend Roz say bad words while we were playing Connect 4. That was pretty awesome.

Other than that, it was just a couple of DVDs (Flowers of St Francis and some episodes of "Freaks and Geeks"), some reading (finished the hilarious Ascent of Rum Doodle) and not much else. Now that I'm finished Rum Doodle, I'm going to start on A Question of Upbringing, the first novel in Anthony Powell's 12 novel cycle, Dance to the Music of Life. I read the first few pages this afternoon and it seems like it'll be an interesting read. It begins with the narrator reflecting on the past and memory, much like Marcel Proust begins Memories of Things Past. Powell was considered the greatest writer by several writers I think are pretty great (Evelyn Waugh for example).

EDIT:
I can't tell if my throbbing headache is from too much caffeine or not enough. Whatever the cause of this head splitting pain, the effect has been detrimental to my work this afternoon. All I want to do is shut off the florescent lights and place my head on my desk, like I was a child in school again. Regardless of this discomfort, the day's almost over. I suppose I can last a few minutes more.

Look at the stars, see how they shine for you

Blah, I went into Booth today. Originally, I had two meetings scheduled for today, but both were cancelled late last night. Unfortunately, when I left here yesterday, I didn't bring everything home with me (marking, a novel, some other stuff) so I kind of had to come in anyway.
I know I shouldn't have - should have stayed home, cleaned the house and watched the DVD of silent Lon Chaney movies I just rented - but in I came.

And since I've been here, I've had no less than 4 people say, "What are you doing here?" Clearly that's a sign I should have stayed home.

EDIT*
On the plus side, the cafeteria had poutine for lunch. That made it all worthwhile, folks. Mmmm, gravy and cheese.

Friday Ipod Random Ten
1) King of Pain: The Police
2) At Seventeen: Janis Ian - personally, I learned these truths at 12
3) Tango Til They're Sore: Tom Waits
4) Teardrop: Massive Attack
5) Place to Be: Nick Drake
6) It'll All Work Out: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers Better off with him than here with me
7) Smells Like Teen Spirit: Nirvana
8) Waterloo Sunset: The Kinks
9)Don't You Forget about Me: Simple Minds
10)Baba O'Reilly: The Who It's only a teenaged wasteland

For it was I who chose to start

All right, hilarious class story:

So, today we were looking at one of my favourite plays, Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest. I ask for volunteers to read a passage out loud, something from the first act. Two ladies volunteer even though one of the parts is male. I say, whatever, no big deal.

Anyway, when they finished, I made whatever point I was trying to make and moved on to another scene, Gwendolen and Cecily's first encounter. I asked for two more volunteers to read and this guy in the front row puts up his hand. Now this guy is a really good student, a little quiet, but really bright. I smiled and told him to go for it. Well, he started. He affected this very board upper-class British accent and his voice went up about three octaves. And he kept it up for the whole scene. It was hysterical. Everyone was laughing. When they finished, I had to applaud.

"That was fantastic," I said.

He smiled and said rather matter-of-factly, "You should hear my Lady Bracknell."

I immediately found a long section with Lady Bracknell in it for him to read.

The neighbours complain about the noises above

Who was accepted to give a paper at the annual meeting of the Film Studies Association of Canada's annual meeting?

Um, that would be me.

The spirits we drank are now ghosts in the room

Yeah, it's Oscar Night. Now, personally I don't care one way or the other about a bunch of plastic, Hollywood phonies giving awards to other plastic, Hollywood phonies, but my wife loves it. She's commendered the television and is happily watching.

That means I have little to do but add another entry.

Actually, that's not true. I have marking. Lots of marking. I have that novel I mentioned I was going to start working on. Haven't really written a word of it yet, though I've panned quite a bit of it. Still, this seems somehow more pressing and attainable. Can't finish the marking this evening, can't write a novel in a night, but I can write an entry.

I cut my forehead this afternoon - just a stupid accident but it bleed for hours. I tried to stop the bleeding the way my father used to stop the bleeding from shaving nicks: toilet paper. Unfortunately when Rachel saw me with a little bit of toilet paper stuck to my forehead ("the blood holds it on" ) she burst out laughing. Hard to expect sympathy that is offered through poorly suppressed giggles.

Apparently some people are incapable of clicking the "My First Film" link on the sidebar (or perhaps are unable to read the sidebar - which is it, Roz?), so I have decided to post it here.


A little history on this piece of cinematic mediocrity: I shot this one afternoon a few years ago. I did everything expect the song. That was done by Jeremy Penner and his band... whose name I forget. As two of his sisters are regular contributors I'm sure they'll chime in with the name. After figuring out all the shots (about 20 minutes), it took 2 hours to film.

Oh, and my head is no longer shaved.

Here comes the story of the Hurricane

All right: another random 10 songs from my iPod.

1) Laid - James My therapist said not to see you no more.
2) Quick One While He's Away (live) - The Who Cello, cello, cello, cello!
3) Stars Fell on Alabama - Ella and Louis
4) Head On - The Jesus and Mary Chain And the way I feel tonight, I could die I won't mind
5) Donna and Blizten - Badly Drawn Boy
6) The Soldiering Life - The Decemberists
7) Sara - Bob Dylan
8) 50 Ways to Leave your Lover - Paul Simon The problem is all inside your head, she said to me
9) The Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin I come from the land of the ice and snow
10) Dark End of the Street - Flying Burrito Brothers

I took the Wagner off to make room for The Who, some Beatles and a pile of Bob Dylan for class Tuesday and Thursday. Wagner may return, but right now Ella and Louis have caught my fancy, as they should.

Ah, look at all the lonely people

I think today was the worse drive home ever. Once I got close the city the conditions were okay, at least manageable, but most of drive was white-out/near white out conditions. It was a day when I truly wished I'd had someone else in the car with me. Somehow things don't see as crappy when there's someone to keep you company. For some reason, the soothing pessimism of Badly Drawn Boy didn't do much for me.

Come to think of it, the whole day was kind of crappy. Not sure what was up, but people seemed busy. No one showed up for lunch so I ate alone. Oh well, it's not like I think they were purposely avoiding me ... at least I didn't until I typed that!

I taught some Victorian poetry today - Elizabeth Barrett Browing, Robert Browing and Tennyson. While I thought I had lots to say about the Brownings, that portion of the class felt awkward and disjointed. I'm pretty sure a number of them studied "My Last Duchess" last semester, yet it was hard to get the conversation going: "Okay, yes, he is a crazy and controlling Duke who killed his wife. And how do we know that?" The Tennyson ("The Lady of Shallot") went much better. I started with explaining the Victorian interest in medieval stories. I even had some of Julia Margaret Cameron incredible 1875 photographs of Tennyson's Idylls of the King, like this one, "Passing of Arthur."

I was surprised how few knew who Lancelot was. Wasn't he in that crappy King Arthur film from a few years ago for cryin' out loud? Speaking of "out loud," students even read "The Lady of Shalott" out loud without me having to "Buller? Buller?" it. Getting them to read is usually like pulling teeth, despite being the easiest form of participation known to humanity.

You better hope and pray that you wake one day in your world

Rebs' impending paper on The Tragedy of Richard the Third reminds me of a confession that I have yet to make here. It's a little embarassing, but then what good confession isn't a least somewhat embarassing. I wasn't sure if I'd ever broach this subject, but *deep breath* here it goes:

I look like an awful lot like Shakespeare.

You're not convinced? I don't blame you. Let me show you.

This is the portrait of Shakespeare, unquestionably the most widely known of the Bard, originally appeared on the cover page of the printed First Folio (1623) the first collected edition of his plays. Shakespeare died in 1616, so this portrait comes from several years after his death.

I do not look like this, and I don't think anyone should.

However ...

this is a much more recently uncovered portrait, believed to be of a young William Shakespeare. It was painted in 1603, during Shakepeare's lifetime. Many scholars over the past decade or so have argued for the authencity of this portrait as opposed to the more famous First Folio portrait.

This looks quite a bit like me. School children and students have commented on this fact.

Now, if I could only write 3 hit plays a year for the next ten or so years, I'd really be set. And unfortunately this does nothing for Rebs.

It doesn't mean you mean that much to me

So, Reading Weeke the Firste is almost over. I've spent a good chunk of time reading - which I consider to be of the utmost irony, as I never used Reading for its intended purpose when I was student. Perhaps this means I'm growing as a person.

I went to the library the other day to pick up two Stephen Fry books or, rather, what I thought were new Stephen Fry books. One, The Ode Not Taken: Unlocking the Poet Within, is definitely new, and has turned out to be an excellent and accessible guide to verse and metre, which, any teacher of English literature will tell you, is important to understanding poetry, but difficult to teach. I'm considering adding it to future syllabi, either as a required or as an optional text. It has lots of exercises if I was ever so inclined to pick up a pen and write some poetry again.

The other book, a novel, I had not heard of. It's called Revenge. It wasn't until I got it home that I discovered that I own the novel under it's original title, The Stars' Tennis Balls. It seems the Webster quotation was deemed too archaic for American readers and the less impressive title Revenge was substituted. When I discovered this, I was very disappointed. I had planned to read this apparently-new Stephen Fry novel and was rather looking forward it. Thwarted by dumbed down American titles, I turned instead to other classics, Virgil's Aeneid and Sir Thomas Mallory's Book of Sir Launcelot and Queen Guinevere. I've been toying with the idea of resuming my long neglected novel and have thought about using a little Morte d'Arthur as a running motif.

I've also watched the first series of "Touching Evil," an excellent British cop/mystery show. It stars my imaginary girlfriend from "Spooks," Nicola Walker. She's absolutely brilliant, portraying a character who is much harder edged and more authoritative than darling Ruth.

And finally, following the example of wise friend, Chris, over at "Wrap me up and Call me Jesus", here's ten random songs from my Ipod:

1) Decemberists: Crane Wife 3
2) Gorillaz: Clint Eastwood
3) Joni Mitchell: Both Sides Now (orchestral version)
4) Die Walkkure Act 2 sc 1
5) Johnny Cash: Hurt
6) Das Rheingold: Auf, Loge! Hnab mit dir:
7) Talking Heads: (Nothing but) Flowers
8) Bob Marley: Get up, Stand up!
9) Nirvana: Heart-shaped Box
10) John Cale: Hallelujah

put a little sunshine in your life ...

I'm giving you my heart for Valentine's day.

This is where the love lives.

We'd hit the bottom, I thought it was my fault

Rachel and I went to hear Guy Gavriel Kay read last night at McNally Robinson. The reading started at 7:30, so we decided to go early and have dinner before hand. It turned out to be a good choice: the place was packed. We had a table right up front (I could have thrown things and hit Mr Kay if I was so inclined), which turned out to be a very good thing as I spotted my friend Kara in the balcony and were able to invite her to sit with us. (Hi, Kara, if you're lurking).

The crowd was pretty eclectic, more so then I was expecting, but shocking regular. I guess I had thought there'd be a few males wrapped in cloaks and sporting impressive armbands. No one weilded a sword or swore an oath of fidelity to Mr. Kay in Old Finnish. We all sat quietly and listened to him read, politely applauding when he was finished. And while I've sure there were a few people there who could have asked me to "pass the salt" in Elvish, most seemed like normal, decent folk.

I don't even notice that she's gone

Today had the distinct possibility of developing into a utterly wasted day. I had little desire to do much anything, and so spent a good deal of the morning just filling time. Spent an half an hour or so doing internet research (by which, of course, I mean: reading friends' blogs and answering emails), half an hour or so reading, forty minutes or so watching obnoxious chatshows on telelvision. I suspect that if we still had a hundred or so channels I would have wasted the whole day away. Forty minutes is about all I could stand of the bare-bones basic cable chat shows, so I decided to clean the house instead. It was, obviosuly, what I should have done all along, but the idea of cleaning only seemed feasible when the boredom of television set in.

Yeah, I saw the news happens every day

Last night, while watching "Bones," I got an unexpected treat: Stephen Fry made an appearance on American television. Ever since Hugh Laurie's success on "House," I've been hoping that his regular comedy partner, Mr. Fry, would make an appearance on some mainstream American program. Fry and Laurie were great in everything they were paired in: "Blackadder," "Jeeves and Wooster," "A Bit of Fry and Laurie," even Peter's Friends.

Not only is Fry a wonderfully witty actor and talented comedian, he is a best selling author. I own every one of his books.

I was really hoping that when Stephen Fry finally decided to grace American TV with his presence it would be on "House" as a foil for his old friend, Hugh Laurie. But I was more than pleased with his appearance as a psychiatrist on "Bones."

It's tearing apart my blue, blue heart

Right. So I didn't have to wear a name tag today. I did sort of dress up, though - no tie, but fancy pants and black button down shirt. Not that anyone noticed. I suppose if I want people to comment on my clothes, I'll have to wear ties. And, since I don't want to wear ties, I'll have to be content to slip under the sartorial radar.

Today was a good day. Wednesdays typically are - good compay and really long coffee breaks. This might sound odd, but I really look forward to Wednesdays, despite the long, boring drive. Even class was pretty good today. I still think there are too many people (and far too many giggling girls), but a good number seemed to have read the material and a few new people even spoke up.

She just acts like we never have met

Not so grumpy today. Well, maybe a little bit. There's some big accreditation thing going on at one of the places I teach and, as a result, I had to "dress up" today. And wear a name tag. Frankly, if I stayed in school this long so I wouldn't have to wear a name tag to work. So here I sit with a tie and name tag on.

It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe

There's an idiot wind a' blowing.

Might as well lay my cards out on the table: I'm extremely grumpy, and have been so for several days. Even last night, surrounded by friends and supposed friends, I felt isolated and, at times, slighted. After the exuberence of Sarah's greeting, nods and waves fell flat. Not even the Wii could bring me up. Meh, I'm sure I'm just out of sorts. It'll pass. It always does.

Finally got to see Pan's Labrynith. Easily one of the most beautiful and disturbing movies I've ever seen. Not for the faint of heart, but worthwhile. I suppose such a brutal movie could have something to do with my strange mood. It's possible.

Finished series 4 of "Spooks" (aka "MI5" in the US), a brilliant British spy show. British shows typically have a much shorter "season" than American shows - usually 6-10 episodes. Now that the series is done, I have to sit and wait for series 5 (which has aired in the UK) to come to DVD. Also, I have an unabashed crush on the character Ruth.