Words can't express how much I hated Spiderman 3... well, a string of profanities could perhaps sum up my thoughts on the matter. This film was capital-T terrible. More than once during the course of the movie I turned to my wife and asked, "What the hell is this?" In fact, I spent most of the time asking questions as a way of keeping my brain active lest it explode. I thought I'd share of these questions with you:
Why does the Venom symbiote turns Peter Parker emo?
Where did Peter learn to dance and play the piano?
Doesn't the Sandman look an awful lot like Ernest? ("Know whadda mean, Vern?")
Why was Peter allowed back in the Jazz Room (my experience is that you tend to be banned from an establishment after beating up the bouncers)?
Isn't Stan Lee dead yet?
When Uncle Ben and Aunt May "swam out to the island" so that he could propose, where did he conceal the ring while he was in the water? It's got to have been on something or up somewhere. Why were Gwen and Capt Stacy at Harry's funeral when THEY DIDN'T KNOW EVEN HIM?
People can't figure out how to beat a guy made out of sand? Seriously?
Why did this film have 76 endings?
I'm so glad we used our free cereal box passes to see this. If I had paid money to see this festering turd of a moive, I might have been tempted to burn down the theatre. Now I just have to eat the cereal, which could never, thankfully, leave such a bad taste in my mouth as this film.