Just giving the people what they want... surveys!

1. WHAT TIME IS IT? 5:16

2. NAME AS IT APPEARS ON YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Michael William Boyce

3. NICKNAME(S): none

4. PARENTS NAMES: Bill and Roberta Boyce

5. NUMBER OF CANDLES THAT APPEARED ON YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY CAKE: 27

6. DATE THAT YOU REGULARLY BLOW THEM OUT: May 23

7. PETS: None

9. HAIR COLOR: brown

10. FAVORITE BAND(s) : Talking Heads, Velvet Underground

11. FAVORITE CANDY BAR: Crispie Crunch or Wunderbar

12. PARASAILING? What about it?

13. MOST BEAUTIFUL PLACE YOU HAVE EVER VISITED: PEI

14. DO YOU KNOW ANY SWEAR WORDS IN ANY OTHER LANGUAGES? I used to know some russian ones

15. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HYPNOTIZED? nope

16. FAVORITE FOOD: spagetti

17. BEEN TO AFRICA? No but I've been to me (thanks Chris)

18. BEEN TOILET PAPERING?? Yep

19. LOVED SOMEBODY SO MUCH IT MADE YOU CRY? Shut up!

20. BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT? yep though I wasn't driving

21. CRUTONS OR BACON BITS? Croutons are just dried up chunks of moldy bread - gross. Gimme bacon!

22. SPRITE OR 7-UP? Doesn't matter

23. FAVORITE MOVIE(S): of all time Casablanca; Royal Tenebaums, Lady Vanishes, Sanjuro, In the Mood for Love

24. Favorite holiday? Whatever one I get presents or candy on.

25. Favorite day of the week: Tomorrow

26. Favorite word or phrase: whatever

27. Favorite Toothpaste: whatever's by the sink

28. Favorite Restaurant: Olive Garden - so much salad!

29. Favorite Flowers: wilted ones

30. Favorite Drink: diet pepsi

31. Favorite sports to watch: wrestling, though I'm starting to like football too

32. Preferred type of ice cream? mint chocolate chop or candy cane! MMmmmm

33. Favorite Sesame Street Character: Oscar the freakin' Grouch - he's kind of a guru

34. Favorite colors? Shut up!

35. Favorite Fast Food Restaurant: Whatever's closest

36. When was your last hospital visit? Visiting kim in the summer. Hospitals smell funny and it's best not to go anywhere near them.

37. If money was no object, what car would you buy: One that goes and has a cd player

38. How many times did you fail your driver's test: Never

39. Who is the last person you got email from before this? Someone trying to sell me herbal Viagara

40. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? Not lately

41. Which single store would you choose to max out your credit card? HMV

42. What do you do most often when you are bored? MSN; curl up in the fetal position and cry

43. Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest: depends on what you mean by friend - I guess England

44. Most annoying thing people ask me: "Are you sure?"

45. Bedtime: whenever

48. Favorite all time TV shows: Night Court, Mr. Show, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Blackadder

49. Last person(s) you went out to dinner with: Rachel

50. Last Movie you saw? Punch Drunk Love

51. What's in your CD player right now? Built to Spill - they're awesome

52. What is your favorite Smell: fresh bread

53. What book is by your bed? V by Thomas Pynchon and Beautiful Losers by L.C.

54. Most uncommon job you have ever had? I don't know

55. What career you would choose if you could do anything you wanted and make lots of money too? Does Master of the Universe count as job? If so, then that. Otherwise, I'd want to be a writer/director/actor.

56. Make one wish for the thing you would want most: My dreams to come true.

1. Have you ever made a wish that came true?

Probably, but not a good wish (world domination, winning the lottery etc). I get "I wish I could find a parking spot" wishes granted.

2. How about any wishes that you are happy never came true?

Yes (Mike stops talking for fear of incrimination).

3. Do you like who you are? Are you the person you hoped you would become?

I don't love myself all the time, but than I would think that only really shallow people would. I always imagined I would be taller.

4. I recently found some job applications that I never turned in. Back in 1986 I intended to apply at "County Seat" and "Chess King" but got an offer from Penny's (where I worked all through college). It was a good thing, since only one of the three is still around. Have you ever applied for positions, or had any interviews, where you later are glad you never got the job?

Well, one time I applied at Sears and they asked me al these stupid "do you ever get angry" type questions, which I totally lied about. They called me back, but I already landed another job. Good thing cause, in retail, it wouldn't have taken longer before they realized how angry I can get (jk).

5. While on the topic of career opportunities, what was your very first "real" job? What job was the most embarrassing?

First real was "jack-of-all-trades" at a Salvation Army thrift store. I stayed for over six years. I don't think I've had an embarrassing job. Though not all the jobs I've been asked to do at work have been enjoyable.

6. Speaking of news, have you had your 15 minutes of fame yet? Such as being in the newspaper, on television, linked on a high-profile site or otherwise caught in the spotlight of the media?

No.

7. In the USA, many of us will celebrate Thanksgiving this week. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving (or something like it)? Do you enjoy getting together will your extended family for these types of celebrations?

I celebrate Thanksgiving in October, when you're supposed to. I enjoy getting together with friends and family for short, controlled lengths of time - 2-3 hours at the most. After my turkey I need a nap.

BONUS: Where is the tenderness?

I got your tenderness right here.

Stop the world, I want to get off. Just when I think I've seen everything, something comes along and shakes my beliefs, my faith, my understanding of the universe to the core. I saw an Adam Sandler film I liked - check that, loved.
I went in to _Punch Drunk Love_ with an ear full of positive reviews and glowing praise, but deep in side I keept thinking "These people can't be right. They must be talking about another movie." As I sat there, alone in the darkness, I found myself riveted to the screen. It wasn't just the story; it wasn't just the look of the film; I have to admit that it was Sandler himself. What P.T. Anderson has done with _PunchDrunk Love_ is nothing short of a miracle. He takes a "Sandler" type character, Barry Egan, a socially awkward young man with some violent tendencies, and places him in the real world and in real situations. Rather than laugh at the awkwardness of Barry, we connect emotionally with him - feeling for him as Anderson exposes, layer by layer, the circumstances that have made this guy the way he is.
The only brother in a family with 7 sisters, Barry is coddled, teased, harassed and tormented by his sisters. They call his work constantly, ignoring his claims of being with clients; they try to fix him up with women and then proceed to berate and belittle him. Barry has no one he can turn to until one of his sisters introduces him to Len (Emily Watson), whom he falls in love with.
Watching Egan try to fit in might remind one of a half sozen of Sandler's other comdies, but this one is different. Egan isn't the butt of the joke - there is no joke. Acceptance doesn't come with winning a football game or winning a golf game, it comes from loving and being loved

Well, today's another day and... well, nothing's changed. I'm still grumpy. People still suck.

Hmmm, it's getting late, I've been up all day and anything I could possibly write will be marred by my inability to form coherent thoughts, but here I go.
I feel like venting today. Why is it that some people CAN"T reply to my emails, even quick, nice little how you doing ones? Is it the burden of writing? Pressing the keys a little too much work for precious fingers? Of course not, so I've come to the only possible explanation my parnoid brain can come up with... people hate me. There, I said it. People hate me. I said it again.
Now I recognize that the danger of posting this message here is that the wrong people might read this, think I'm talking about them, and barge me with a slew of unnecessary, (and let's face it) unwanted emails. So let's clear this up right now. If you're reading this and THINK I'm talking about you and feel a tinge of remorse deep within your soul, you're not the kind of heartless fiend capable of truly hating me.That you had feelings at all disquailifies you from the I-HATE_MIKE Club. Relax, I'm not talking about you. I know you're busy. You email when you can and I'm grateful. It's the person who gets an email from me and couldn't be bothered opening it for three or four days. Respond? Only if they need information. Wouldn't want to go around encouraging him.
What makes these people truly heartless is the ability to stirke up a perfectly civil, engaging conversation at the exact SECOND I decide that they're no longer worth my time. It's like a preternatural sense: "I'm losing this one. Better talk to him to string him along." And then the whole vicious cycle starts over again. Thinking that it must have just been me, and that they don't hate me, I continue trying to maintain a relationship only to be ignored again. Oh, life, you crazy roller coaster ride. Can't you just jump the track and send us all hurdling to our deaths?
Have a sunshiny day.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............

A rather somber Monday Mission. Remember folks, I don't make up the questions.

1. Although I was told before hand by my mother, my Grandfather finally told me he has cancer and it was speculated he has about 12 months to live. Has someone you know ever told you they had a terminal illness? What was it like for you when you found out. How did that change your relationship with them?

No. Though my grandmother had a stroke, eventually slipped into a coma, and all in all lasted about 5 months. Our relationship changed, well, because she died. It was a little one sided after that.

2. The concept of having 12 months comes as somewhat of a shock. Often those estimates are wrong and a person lives much longer. But still, it makes me think. If you found out you had 12 months to live, what would you do with that time? How would it change the way you live? Or would it?

I would spurn fruit like it was a rabid dog.

3. My Grandfather has decided to undergo chemotherapy. He was told it would not cure him, but it could prolong his life, however his quality of life could diminish. Having watched my father go through all that to no avail, I am not so sure I would choose that option. If you were (or are) in a situation where chemotherapy might cure you, or might not, would endure the usual side effects and discomfort?

Oh heck ya. Plug me in, pump me full of drugs and turn on the freakin' television. I ain't going anywhere.

4. How is your health? How are you doing?

Well, I have a little sniffle... oh shut up.

5. Speaking of health, I was in a Health Food Store Saturday and learned about something called "Ear Candling." It
involves having a helper insert a cone-shaped candle in your ear, lighting it and having the reverse pressure suck the wax out of your ear. Apparently it is very popular. Do you use, or have you ever tried, any alternative heath remedies or procedures? How did that work out? Anything out there we should try (or avoid)?

You want me to stick a candle in my ear? Bite me. I don't like taking any medicine. I don't trust anyone.

6. Which reminds me, this week at work they are giving flu shots for $15. I hate getting shots, so getting one by choice, and paying for it, is tough for me. How do you feel about Flu shots. Do they give them where you live? Are you going to get one or take your chances?

These are stupid questions. People who are "at risk" get flu shots for free. I don't like needles.

7. I'd like to see either "Spirited Away" or "Bowling for Columbine" before they vanish from the multiplex at the mall. But I will probably have to go see it alone (which I hate). Do you like to go to see flicks at the movie theater alone? Or would you rather have company? Seen any good (or bad) movies lately?

I like seeing movies alone. No problem there, but I used to feel weird about it. Then i looked around at the kind of people other people went with. You can always tell who's there because someone else didn't want to be alone. It's not worth it.

BONUS: Don't you want somebody to love?

Shut up.

Watched the Royal Tenenbaums again yesterday. Is there a more perfect comedy? I'm not sure. Obviously Rushmore is a close second. But in an era of "show your bum" comedy, a film that makes you think and laugh is a rare treat.

I'm often asked about television and what shows I like. While I do possess a near encyclopedic knowledge of television from the late 70s to the late 90s, very little has grabbed my attention of late. While there are several shows I like, thers' nothing I schedule my life around. Even the Simpsons, once the best show on TV, has become stale. This week's season opener was the same duller, celebrity filled nonsense we've seen time and time again. If famous people are going to do voices, why don't they be characters?

1. Have you ever had to appear in court? What was the reason? How did it turn out?
No.

2. Ever been accused of something you never did? Were you able to convince anyone?
I would think everyone has at some point in their lives. Sometimes i can convince people, sometimes I can't. Que sera sera.

3. When it comes to crime and punishment, do you agree with the saying "An eye for an eye?"
Depends on whether it's my eye. No, it don't.

4. Are you a judgemental person? Do you ever make up your mind about a person before you know them? When was the last time that happened? Or if not, how do you keep from being judgemental?
Yes. It happened yesterday. I was right.

5. When I was in 6th grade I lit a match in class accidentally and was given the choice of having my folks called or getting 10 "swats." I took swats and damn, that wooden paddle with the holes drilled in it hurt like hell (not to mention the horible whistling sound it made before impact). I don't think they allow "swats" anymore. Ever get "swats" at school? How do you feel about children being spanked in school. Is it best that they don't do that anymore? How about parents spanking kids? Good or bad?

How do you "accidently" lite a match in class? They should have hit you AND called your folks. Never been subjected to swats, but I was threatened with it in Grade one. Back then teachers couldn't hit you but the vice Principal or Principal could in extreme circumstances. A friend and I had chased some girl and made her cry and where called to the VP's office under the threat of a good paddling.
Spanking's fine - it's the attitude of the parents administering the spanking where the problem lies. I think we've all seen the mother/father who loses it in pulic and just starts wailing on their kid. That's abuse, cause they're not in control. There's nothing in the behaviour of the adult that lets the child know "if I do something bad, I'll be punished" All the children of these people get is the message "if Mom/Dad get mad, I'm going to get hit." My parents spanked me, but they always (or almost always) waited until they were calm enough to administer appropiate spankings. We talked about the spankings as punishment for doing wrong - not getting them p.o'd. Though I never bought the line "this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you."


6. What is your favorite "Chick Flick?"
First, you need to define the term "chick flick." To many guys that applies to any film without explosions or blood shed- which ae most of the films I like. If chick flick mean plot over action, Casablanca. If chick flick means female protagnists, then You Can Count on Me.

7. Describe the last situation you were in that can best be summed up by the phrase "seemed like a good idea at the time?"
Errrr... life in general seems best summed up that way.

BONUS: Who will bury us when we die?
Gravdiggers, stupid.

Today's Comment Question: What's your favorite saying (currently)?
What's the dealio?

I finally finished Yi Yi yesterday. What an incredible film! It's film like this that makes me furious with the North American movie system. Such a simple film, simple stories about the lives of a Chinese family - no explosions, no slapsticky humour. Why can't films like this be made in North America? Because the audience wants to see Adam Sandler fall on his backside? Because we enjoy watching the same movie over and over and over with different actors? Because we're too stupid to appreciate art? I don't think so.