On the bus ride home from the University last night, a pleasant looking young lady took the seat in front of me. This is slightly unusual, as most (sane and reasonably clean) people tend to want to sit as far away from me as possible. I was reading and, subsequently, not paying that much attention. When I read on the bus, forget about it. I'm in my own little world, a world I planned to stay in until my stop. However, my lovely little world came crashing down when I glanced up as this lady was raising her arm to remove her backpack and I caught a glimpse of the hairiest armpit I have ever seen in my life. We're talking Buckwheat in a headlock hairy. I thought my father had hairy armpits, but they were nothing compared to the sheer volume of hiar this girl had. She could have braided it.
Needless to say, my concentration was shot to pieces. Try as I might to get back into the story. Any attempt to return to my beloved fiction world was thwarted. All I could think about was that nasty, nasty pit.
Now I know some people will read this and think, "What's the big deal? It's European." To these people, I say fat dudes in g-strings are also "European" - doesn't make it right.
Still others will vehemently defend this woman's right not to shave with evocations of nature and the mythical “natural state.” They’ll say stupid things like, "That's the way God made us" and "Women weren't meant to shave their armpits or their legs" (I checked afterwards and this chick had some hairy-assed gams too). Know what? Crap. It's a big deal 'cause it's nasty. Freakin' gross. Know what else isn't natural? Brushing one's teeth. Know what else isn't natural? Bathing. Yet we still feel the need to do those things. You can't make the "natural state" argument when you wash your clothes, use soap, and rely on that new fangled invention, toothpaste. Leaving aside things like Ipods and cell phones, both of which armpit girl had, using everyday modernizations like skin cream, makeup, even eye glasses, makes the natural state argument null and void.
Maybe we should all start ignoring dental hygiene - stop brushing, stop flossing, stop seeing the dentist. Now THAT's European! Well, at the very least British.
3 comments:
Ha! British is right!
seriously, remind me to always wear long sleeves around you...and perhaps you should avoid looking too closely at my legs as well..for your own sake.
umm...why are you allowed to be hairy and it's okay? why not us, dammit!
as if hair is really all that unhygienic!
personally, I side with hairy-bus-lady on this one.
Arm hair is different, and so, frankly, is a little bit of growth on your legs. Heck, even growth under the arm is acceptable, but this was ridiculous!
As for why boys are allowed to be hairy: I don't know. Why are you double X'ers allowed to wear skirts to get around those grossly unfair "No Shorts" rules? Things like that are, alas, part of the wonders and mystery of long evolving gender roles. You can try to be all revolutionary and challenge those rules... but you'll look like a freak doing it. I will say that when I have facial hair, it is usually trimmed, groomed and shaped. Unless it's not.
You may side with the bus lady, but I won't sit right next to her if I were you. She may raise her arm and entangle you in the amazon-like growth from beneath her arms.
ha! too true. I'll admire her counter-culture lifestyle from afar, thank you!
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