I was so much older then...

I'm 32 today. And it's my last day of work at the UM Press. Pity I have to spend it in the asbestos-filled sweat box, assembling shelves.

Everywhere I go it rains on me

After the well-documented Spiderman 3 fiasco, I was a little reluctant to go to the movies the other night. But I sucked it up and went. And as much as I hated Spiderman 3, I loved Sarah Polley's amazing Away from Her. Based on Alice Munro's short story, "The Bear Came Over the Mountain," Away From Her deals with effects of Alzheimer's on a couple. Having dealt with a grandmother who we had to put in a nursing home and gradually lost most of her short term memories, I was particularly struck by the almost throw away scene of an unnamed older lady coming up to a sea of walkers with a confused look. She can't figure which one is hers; she knows she has a walker, needs a walker, but can't remember what hers looks like. It so perfectly captures the helplessness and fragility of mental illness.

Gordon Pinsent and (the still ravishing) Julia Christie are remarkable as the couple. Also, Kristen Thomson as the nurse, is brilliant. I haven't seen her in anything else, but her character is so interesting. The script, adapted by Polley who's only in her late 20s, is mature, senstive and thoughtful, never going sappy or 'movie of the week."

Sang a song about a honky-tonk, it was time to leave

Words can't express how much I hated Spiderman 3... well, a string of profanities could perhaps sum up my thoughts on the matter. This film was capital-T terrible. More than once during the course of the movie I turned to my wife and asked, "What the hell is this?" In fact, I spent most of the time asking questions as a way of keeping my brain active lest it explode. I thought I'd share of these questions with you:

Why does the Venom symbiote turns Peter Parker emo?
Where did Peter learn to dance and play the piano?
Doesn't the Sandman look an awful lot like Ernest? ("Know whadda mean, Vern?")
Why was Peter allowed back in the Jazz Room (my experience is that you tend to be banned from an establishment after beating up the bouncers)?
Isn't Stan Lee dead yet?
When Uncle Ben and Aunt May "swam out to the island" so that he could propose, where did he conceal the ring while he was in the water? It's got to have been on something or up somewhere. Why were Gwen and Capt Stacy at Harry's funeral when THEY DIDN'T KNOW EVEN HIM?
People can't figure out how to beat a guy made out of sand? Seriously?
Why did this film have 76 endings?

I'm so glad we used our free cereal box passes to see this. If I had paid money to see this festering turd of a moive, I might have been tempted to burn down the theatre. Now I just have to eat the cereal, which could never, thankfully, leave such a bad taste in my mouth as this film.

"It ain't a fit night out for man nor beast"

I love W.C. Fields. W.C. Fields is a comic after my own heart: he tells it like it is, isn't afraid to make himself the butt of the joke, doesn't care what people think. He didn't care for kids and didn't care who knew it. After starting out on the vaudeville circuit with people like Chaplin and the Marx Brothers, Fields moved into short silent comedies where he displayed his gift for physical comedy. But when talking pictures took over, Fields was able to show his gift for verbal comedy and made some of the funniest shorts and feature length films ever made. Here's a clip from the 1934 film where Fields, who consumed more booze than a French village, shows off his skills as a juggler.

Drops on roses and whiskers on kittens

I released something this morning: I've lived in Manitoba to recognize the ulitimate act of a desperate politican. PC leader Hugh McFayden announced the other day that if he's elected he'll bring back the Jets. Seriously? Gentlemen, I think the horse is dead, yet you continue to beat on it.

Whenever someone running for office realizes their snowball-in-hell's chance, they evoke that holy-of-holies name, the Winnipeg Jets. As someone who did not grow up here (and, frankly, hates hockey) I can't understand why people get so worked up about this issue. I can't understand why politicans promise to bring the team back after so many years.

It's NEVER going to happen. I probably have as much chance being made a team in the NHL.

Where, where have they gone? Now it's nothing but flowers

I know I've been a little behind with the updates, but, truthfully, I really haven't had much to say - no pearls of wisdom, no amusing stories. I've been working a bit. Not too much, mind you, but it's been more than a little bit frustrating. Most of my job this past week has involved the massive reorganization of our storage area at the UM. This translates as Mike moving a lot of very heavy boxes around a dungeon-like, asbestos-filled room. When I takes breaks, I'm too tired and sweaty to write things here. I tend to just sit around, gasping for breath and praying for sweet death to take me.



In the evenings I've been re-watching a couple of favourite films. Last weekend I watched His Girl Friday, Duck Soup, My Man Godfrey and The Thin Man. I also re-read Hammett's novel The Thin Man on the bus to work (it's a fairly short read, perfect for ignoring the Tilley Hat Man). This weekend I watched a few favourites and a few new films: a W.C. Fields' short ("The Fatal Glass of Beer") and feature (The Bank Dick), Notes on a Scandal and Hot Fuzz. Thought Notes on a Scandal was particularly good, but I couldn't decide what I found creepier: Judy Dench's character's obsession, the Cate Blanchett character's affair with a student or the fact that her husband was so bloody old. Seriously, the idea of Cate and Bill Nighy is almost as disturbing as her rolling around on the ground with a pimply-faced teenager.



Hot Fuzz is amazing. I am a big fan of Shaun of the Dead, but I think star/co-writer Simon Pegg and director/co-writer Edgar Wright have surpassed themselves with this film. Like Shaun, Hot Fuzz trends the thin line between comedy and satire. Yes, it's hilariously funny (mostly co-star Nick Frost), but there are moments of genuine shock and drama as well. The film is more than just a spoof, it has an edge and bite that makes everything mean more.



It also features a collection (sometimes just cameos) of some of the finest comedic talents in Britain: Martin Freeman ("The Office" and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy), Bill Bailey ("Black Books"), Steven Coogan ("Alan Partridge," 24 Hour Party People, Tristam Shady), and Stephen Merchant (co-creator/writer/director "The Office").

I never knew the charm of spring

I've come to realization: I hate bikes.

In Winnipeg biking is a big deal. Even in the dead of winter some crazy person is peddling his or her way down the street. And I understand why biking is a good thing - better on the environment and healthier - but I'm tired of cyclists who either ignore the rules of the road or make up their own version of those rules. Personally, I love the driving-on-side-walk-until-they-decide-to-go-on-the-road trick. That's awesome.

The other day I was crossing the road at a designated intersection with a four way Stop. As I crossed, I was almost run over by a cyclist who didn't think the octagonal red sign applied to him.

I got an unexpected email from someone I believe is one of the funniest comedians currently working, letting me know about an upcoming gig. She trying to get an audience together as she tries out a new show. The problem is she's in England. I am not. So any readers who are in England, are going to be in England in the next little while, or know people in England: please, check out Nina Conti.

She's brilliant - the only ventriloquist I'd pay money to see and the only reason to watch For Your Consideration.

30 secrets about myself...

1. Is that your natural hair colour? Why would I colour my hair?
2. Where was your default pic taken? From the internet
3. What's your middle name? William
4. Your current relationship status? Married
5. Honestly, does your crush like you back? Probably not.
6. What is your current mood? Gregarious
7. What colour underwear are you wearing? green
8.What makes you happy? filling out these things
9. Are you musically inclined? Somewhat
10. If you could go back in time and change something what would it be? Rephrase: what would I keep the same?
11. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day- what would you be? I'm inclined to say dog, but too many dogs I know eat poop and I'm not cool with that. I'll say a mongoose. They're wily.
12. Ever had a near death experience? Not really.
13. Something you do a lot? Read.
14. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now? Banaanaa-na dadadadum
15. Who did you copy and paste this from?Melissa
16. Name someone with the same b-day as you? Ashley
17. when was the last time you cried? 4:19pm, I won't say what day.
18. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience? Oh, yes. And I'd like to go back in time a change at least two of those times: Edelweiss in Grade 6 production of The Stupid Sound of Stupid Music and a karaoke version of Dancing Queen.
19. If you could have one super power what would it be? Invisible, I guess, or super strength
20. What do you notice first off in a guy/girl? Gender.
21. What do you usually order from Starbucks? Coffee, the darker the better.
22. Whats your biggest secret? That I'm a sentimental softy. Don't tell anyone.
23. What's your favorite color? Black
24. When was the last time you lied? What time is it now?
25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows? Not really. I can't understand current kids' shows like Danny Phantom or the various Pokemon-esque card-game shows.
26. Do you have braces? Nope.
.27. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? My sparkling personality.
28. What are you eating or drinking atm? Nothing.
29. Do you speak any other language? Speak, not really. I read a few.
30. What's your favorite smell? Fresh nan bread.

My momma said, to get things done, you'd better mess with Major Tom

Surprise, surprise: I hate McDonalds' new marketing campaign. This time it's not an innocuous, brain-numbing jingle or celebrity whoring that's bothering me, it's the implications of their new bus ads. See, McDonalds apparently cares about their employees, but these new ads all seem to revolve around the romantic lives of their employees... and it's creeping me out. They say things like, "Should Susan break up with Tom and go out with Ryan," or "Look sharp, Stacey, your ex is around the corner."

Why does McDonalds care who their employees date? Is it really that important? If they really cared, wouldn't they do something to prevent the horrible grease burns that EVERYONE I know who's worked at Mickey Ds has? Isn't that a little more "caring" than worrying about Tim's over use of cologne or who Susie should ask to the dance?

Every whisper and caresss, yes, yes, yes, it was totally meaningless

Through the magic of Facebook, I have learned a little something to warms the cockles of my heart: I was mentioned as someone's favourite high school memory.

And I quote,

[High school] did have its few moments, like Revels - Christmas concert, especially the one that the 4 guys, can't remember their names, they did some skit and at the end they opened their coats and dropped banners that said "Merry Christmas". Looked like they were naked!!!! Funny stuff!

I've always been proud of the sketch and still get a chuckle when I watch the video.

All I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you

So, all my exams have been administered. And, though I have 45 handwritten exams that have to be graded in the next little while, it's time to turn my brain to happier things, like my summer reading list.

I intend to finish Anthony Powell's A Dance to the Music of Time, which in and of itself is quite the commitment. I just began the fourth novel (of twelve), after some internal debate. You see, I've sort of gone and developed a crush on one of the characters, Gypsy Jones. The problem is (and no, developing crushes on fictional characters is NOT a problem), Gypsy doesn't make another appearance until the sixth or seventh novel (I checked). She's MENTIONED quite regularly, almost as if the narrator has a similar (though in his case, unspoken) infatuation, but hasn't appeared since the second novel. I had considered skipping ahead, but decided that that would be cheating.

Yesterday a student asked me about an author, Walker Percy. I was looking up the title of the novel the student was seeking today, and found myself rather intrigued by some of Percy's other titles, particularly one called The Movie Goer.

I also intend to have another go at Satanic Verses. I've tried reading it before, but usually in the middle of the semester when there are a hundred more important (or at least pressing) things that need to be read.

While this list more than fills my summer, any others suggestions from my gracious readers?

The way you haunt my dreams...

Ipod Random 10:

1) "A Peak you Reach" Badly Drawn Boy
2) "I'm a Believer" The Monkees
3) "The Chimbley Sweep" The Decemberists
4) "Hallelujah" John Cale
5) "Jesus" Velvet Underground
6) "Red Right Hand" Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
7) "Maggie's Farm" Bob Dylan
8) "A Foggy Night" Ella and Louis
9) "The Seeker" The Who
10) "Tota pulchra es" Tallis Scholars

Movie Quizlet

Movie Quizlet

My friend Chris always has the best blog quizzes...

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.

I've seen a number of movies more than 10 times: Casablanca (over 40), Star Wars (over 30), Raiders of the Lost Ark and Scrooge (over 20), Ladykillers, Third Man, Lady Eve, Citizen Kane, Brief Encounter, Rushmore, Pulp Fiction (over 15)

2. Name a movie that you've seen multiple times in the theater.

Pulp Fiction, Royal Tenenbaums

3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.

Catherine Deneuve, Alec Guinness

4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie.

Will Ferrell, David Hasselhoff

5. Name a movie that you can and do quote from.

Casablanca

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.

Hmmmm, I probably still have all the lyrics to Sound of Music somewhere in my head.

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with.

I don't sing along.

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.

After years working in videostores, I gave up recommending movies. I will tell you what I like and you can make up your own mind. I really liked Grindhouse and I want to see The Hoax.

9. Name a movie that you own.

I own lots of movies... DVD, VHS and laserdisc.

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.

I think David Bowie can at times (he was great in The Prestige).

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?

As I kid I remember going to see the Swiss Family Robinson and a double bill of Summer Rental and Witness (which I slept through) . Recently, one of the Harry Potter films in a double bill with Scooby Doo 2 (which I slept through).

12. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven't yet gotten around to it.

John Sayles' s Lianna

13. Ever walked out of a movie?

Yes, once. It was a really boring film at the Toronto Film Festival. I'm someone who enjoys films that others find slow, but this one was too painful.

14. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.

Breaking the Waves

15. Popcorn?

At times.

16. How often do you go to the movies (as opposed to renting them or
watching them at home)?

Not very often, but I hope to make up for that.

17. What's the last movie you saw in the theater?

Grindhouse.

18. What's your favorite/preferred genre of movie?

I like all sorts of different kinds of films.

19. What's the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?

One of the Muppet movies. It might have been the Great Muppet Caper.

20. What movie do you wish you had never seen?

Casablanca, for the thrill of watching it again for the first time.

21. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?

What do you mean by weird? Like Eraserhead weird? Most people would say that the majority of the films I like are weird, but I'll say The Street Fighter - a fairly run of the mill karate-exploitation film.

22. What is the scariest movie you've seen?

Don't Look Now.

23. What is the funniest movie you've seen?

The Lady Eve, Duck Soup

And the anchorperson on TV goes "La dee da"

It should be so easy to write George Clooney off. There were the endless sitcom appearances ("Roseanne," "Facts of Life"); there were terrible movies before he became famous (Return of the Killer Tomatoes) and after (Batman and Robin).

The guy should be a punchline.... but he's not. He's cool, self-deprecating and very astute.

While Confessions of a Dangerous Mind was a great first film, Clooney's follow up, Good Night and Good Luck, is a true work of art, and is deserving of every accolade. It's political in the best sense of the word - not pretentious or preachy- examining the war of words between the bullying Sen. Joe McCarthy and Edward R. Murrow. In an age where television news reporters have become noteworthy for the kinds of threatening and deceitful tactics employed by McCarthy in his Communist witch hunt, this film has special significance. In an era when politicians are engaging in a similar witch hunt in the name of National Security, this film challenges all people to examine critically such methods.

For all it's style and intelligence, the film really hangs on two key castings: David Strathairn as Edward R. Murrow and Joe McCarthy. Clooney's decision to use actual footage of McCarthy is inspired, giving the audience some sense of this man's presence and style. Like Murrow and his team's decision to use footage of McCarthy in their initial piece, Clooney lets the junior Senator from Wisconsin, with all his venom and hatred, speak for himself. Strathairn has a long and impressive body of work behind him, but this turn as Murrow might be his finest work.

Well, the semester is steaming rolling to an end. I have about 40 or so papers left to grade before next week, and then 45 exams that are being written next week. Spent the afternoon grading... grading and procrastinating.

With all the marking (and a few other things that I can't get into just yet), I haven't had much time to post here. If I'm honest, Facebook has quickly abosrbed a lot of my internet time. Reconnecting with people from the very distnat past has been surreal, to say the least. People I went to grade school with have suddenly popped back into my life.

I mentioned my Facebook obsession in class recently and that evening half the class had requested to be my friend. I'm waiting until the end of semester to add them. Today I got a request from some guy I don't even know. He's the friend of one guy I know. Why would he want to be my friend? Why would I want to be his?

I went to the public library to return some books. I recently discovered that I can get from Portage Place mall all the way to the library without going outside! It takes about 20 minutes, and it's a relatively nice walk. After dropping off the books I had, I picked up the next volume of A Dance to the Music of Time (which has novels 4, 5, 6, 7 of a 12 novel narrative and Neil Gaiman's Fragile Things, which only came out a month or so ago. I was going to request it but figured it wouldn't be available for a while, and there it was on the shelves! I read the first short story, "A Study in Emerald," which is described as Sherlock Holmes meets Lovecraft. I think it's the most inventive and original non-Doyle Holmes story I have ever read. Brilliant.

It's a lovely day

Stupid computer clock!

For some reason my computer clock at work has re-adjusted from the time change. I've been thinking that it's a hour later than it actually is. I thought I was getting close to home time. I was terribly wrong.

If love is a red dress, well, hang me in rags

What does Easter mean to me? Chocolate bunnies and violent movies. I spent this Easter afternoon in my local multi-plex theatre watching Grindhouse and I was NOT disappointed.

My friend Chris over at Wrap me up and Call Me Jesus recently wrote about seeing this film, saying that the trailer for Rob Zombie's "Werewolf Women of the SS" was a bit of a let down. As a "fan" of the Ilsa flicks, I was expecting something really outstanding from this trailer. The bizarre Nazi women subgenre has plenty of fodder for a 45 second spot. What I got was good - due mostly to the cameos. Personally, I thought the "Thanksgiving" trailer was pretty amazing, and my personal favourite.

Although Planet Terror and Death Proof are quite different in tone, they compliment each other really well. The over-the-top gore of Rodriquez's installment (which works like a Carpenter/Romero film) didn't diminish the impact of QT's more white-knuckled installment. I don't think I cringed as much at any point as I did with some of the stunt driving in Death Proof

Even if you're not a fan of the violence, there is so much going on in Grindhouse that it's hard not to like it. The trailers and the terrible retro animation harken back to a time when movie going was a more visceral and carnal experience.

They call me William the pleaser

I would be remiss if I did not offer my congratulations to my dear friend Jaimie and her husband who have just announced that they are expecting their first child.

After I handed the final manuscript into the Grad Studies my brain just shut off. It's only now getting back up to speed. This what I have spent the past 6 years thinking, living and breathing. Frankly I'm a little surprised that the world didn't just end when the defense was over.

Again, I want to thank everyone (even strangers) for the words of congratulation. I really, really appreciate them. People have send me emails, phone calls, blog comments, posted signs on my door at work (thanks Linda), taken me out for lunch, offered hearty handshakes, promised to toast me with chocolate milk, planned cake, my class today even applauded.... It's all pretty surreal.

And now that that's taken care of, I can resume my blogging. Except that I don't have a sweet clue what to talk about anymore.

Pretty gross about Keith Richards snorting his father's ashes. I mean, who snorts a loved one? It's disgusting. Snorting Keith Richards's ashes, on the other hand, would likely be quite the buzz.