It's just my job five days a week

So, it's Anna Paquin.

They've been shooting for three days now and today was the day they decided to shoot outside stuff. I went out to take a look and gradually find myself in the company of the director and some of the production crew. I got to watch monitors. Weird. I stood around and watched Anna and Breckin shoot three relatively short scenes, and that took 3 hours.

She's really pretty close up. Everyone on the crew commented how cool and down to earth she is. One of the guys (I think her brother) offered to introduce me to her when they were on a break, but that never materialized as they never seemed to really break. Besides, while it would be cool to meet her, what could I possibly say? "I liked you in X-men, or the Piano, or Jane Eyre"? Smooth.

Breckin Meyer's a really funny guy; quite witty.

See you got our fist out; Say your piece and get out

So, they're shooting a movie across the street from me. Actually, I don't know who "they" are. I haven't seen anyone I recognize (and let's face it, if I have one true talent it's recognizing people from movies). All I've seen is one group of people working very hard and another group of people sitting on my neighbor's lawn and looking unreasonably proud of themselves. Oh, and a lot of babushkaed extras wandering up and down the block and smoking.

It could be a couple of different projects shooting in Winnipeg right now. Apparently Ben Kingsley's in town shooting a "dark gangster film" in the Sexy Beast vein (which is great 'cause I'm tired of seeing him playing cartoony bad guys in B-grade kids' flicks). Anna Paquin's supposed to be in town shooting Blue State with Breckin Meyer. Or it could just be some crap Canadian made-for-tv thing I'll never see. If I had my preference, it'd be Anna. Even if she comes with Breckin.

Changed my hairstyle so many times now, don't know what I look like

Spent a few hours Sunday afternoon at Providence College's graduation ceremony. It's the first year I've attended, because it's the first year I've taught more than a handful of the graduates. I think 10-15 of them had passed through one of my classes or the other (and really there are only two). It was nice to see them get their opportunity to walk across the stage, receive their degrees, and flip their tassels - though some of them seemed to have trouble with the whole tassel thing, thankfully none of my former students had much trouble.

I tried to make my way around to congratulate as many students I knew as I could... I didn't see (or get to talk to) everyone, as the gym and foyer were quite cramped, but I spoke to many. Everyone looked so happy - the guys looked confident and mature, the ladies beautiful and radiant. Most seemed occupied with family and friends. I didn't want to bother or interrupt, just let them know that I was pleased for them. Don't know if they cared one way or the other, but it meant something to me to tell them I was proud of them. I don't think many student think of professors as "people," but we are. Well, most of us are.

The service was short, as far as grads go: two hours and a bit. My Laurier BA grad was a painful 4 hours... never got to my MA grad. I think when I finally get a chance to walk across the stage to be dubbed "Doctor," my Gameboy will be idling in my pocket.

Should've been one of these things first

Well, I'm well stuck into the marking. Finished one set of exams this afternoon, but, unfortunately, the rest of the term grades are in my office downtown. I guess I'll swing by there Monday and figure out the final grades.

So far, judging by the exams I've marked, I've been impressed. Maybe I actually taught some people some stuff. I suppose in this wacky world anything's possible *shrugs*.

Walked up to the ol' neighbourhood library yesterday; had to return one book and pick up a new one that had been brought over from another branch for me, (The Time Traveler's Wife, which, if you're interested, several people whose opinions I value have recommended). When I got to the library, there were actually 3 books waiting for me: the aforementioned TTW, plus Lost and Son of a Witch. These last two are by Gregory Maguire who writes revisionist versions of classic stories. Wicked, his first and most famous, retells the story of The Wizard of OZ and recast the Wicked Witch of the West as the hero - Son of a Witch is the sequel. I'm sure I'm going to love all these books, but it is a rather daunting amount of "rec" reading to get done in the next month. Good thing the television is wrapping up. No reruns for Michael!

If you start me up I'll never stop

So, I was talking to my good friend Chris yesterday. He was relating some wonderful sotries about his daughter/my goddaughter, Del, who is apparently growing up to be a little drama queen. Example: he was putting her to bed one night and she looked sad.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't have any friends," she said, burying her head into her blankets.

Now whether she's your child or not, when an adorable three year old says something like this and your heart doesn't break, you are no friend of mine... and I'm a caustic bastard. Chris was understandably crushed. "Man, I didn't feel like that until highschool," he quipped to me. He said something to try to comfort her, but the whole thing naturally bothered him.... until he found out that Del had seen this very same exchange on her favourite show, "Calliou". Calliou had said this to his grandmother and the grandmother reacted with sympathy and treats. Turns out Del thought she'd try it out and see what kind of reaction she'd get with it. Smart kid.

Let's get together and feel all right

Gave my final exam of the year this afternoon. So once all this marking's done, I get to party, I get to kick back, I get to write my PhD thesis! Whooo!

Invigilating an exam is a odd mix of conflicting sensations: so, so boring; so, so entertaining. I mean, I understand that we're a voyeuristic society, one that enjoys watching what other people are doing, but there really is something indescribably amusing about watching people who have no idea that you can see them. I can only assume that this truth accounts more the staggering popularity of reality television.

Students writing exams (should) have too much on their minds to be self-conscience about the little things like etiquette. I watched one guy stick his finger in his ear, root around for a good 30 seconds, and then look intently at his finger! There's no way he thought people could see him; he was totally absorbed in his own world ... and his ear.

Both today and yesterday I watched the way people sit with great interest. As the time went by and the chairs became less comfortable, student would shift their bodies in an attempt to find a position that they could sit in. I tried to discern how sitting style relates to gender. Females are much more likely than males to pull one or both legs up on the seat of the chair. They are also more likely to twist their legs around their bodies. One of my students had one leg tucked underneath her and the other one crossed. She looked like a pretzel.

Guys tend to push their butts as far back as possible and then lean their torsos on the table. They are also more likely to try to "crack" things - fingers, legs, arms, necks. I can't tell if this is an honest attempt to ease stiffness, or just a noisy way to pass some time. Guys are also more likely (not far more likely, mind you) to scratch themselves in a way that can only be called “inappropriate”.

I also noticed that many people, both male and female, have no idea where their shirts end and where their pants begin. I saw a whole lot of underwear during this exam period. It's not like I was looking for it or anything, but once you notice something like that it's hard NOT to look. Eyes are just drawn there even when you don’t mean to look.

When the cities are on fire with the burning flesh of men

Grrrrrr... another bloody plagarist! Too frustrated to write anything original (though I had a wonderful entry planned about watching people who don't know they're being watched). I'll survey it instead.

Some questions are missing. I don't know where they got to.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 10

2. Diamonds or Pearls? Blah... stupid question

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Chronicles of Narnia, I think

4. What is your favorite TV show? Currently on: House, Spooks. Of all time: Buffy, Night Court.

5. What did you have for breakfast? Yogurt and granola

6. What is your middle name? William

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Ethopian

8. What foods do you dislike? Brussel sprouts. Stupid little cabbages. I hate everything and everyone in Brussells because of these blasted things.

9. Your favorite Potato chip? Cheddar, Roast turkey

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Once more with Feeling

11. What kind of car do you drive? A red one.

12. Favorite sandwich? Reuben

13. What characteristics do you despise? PLAGARISM!!!

14. What are your favorite clothes? Jeans

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where WOULDN'T you go? Alberta

17. Favorite brand of clothing? Meh, don't have one.

18. Where would you want to retire to? England

19. Favorite time of day? Bedtime

21. What is your favorite sport to watch? Don't really have one.

24 Pepsi or Coke? Diet Coke is good, but Diet Pepsi I could drink all day long.

25. Beavers or Ducks? Is saying Beavers all right?

26. Are you a morning person or night owl? Night owl. No question about it. Unfortunately, it's a morning world.

27. Pedicure or Manicure? uh, neither.

29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

30. What did you want to be when you were little? Big

32. What is your best childhood memory? Innocence

36. Piercings? Just the arrow in my heart

37. Ever been to Africa? Nope

39. Ever been toilet papering? Yup.

40. Been in a car accident? Yup

43. Favorite day of the week? Thursday. It's my Friday!

44. Favorite restaurant? Masawa's

45. Favorite flower? Shut up.

46. Favorite ice cream? Ben and Jerry's "Vermonty Python"

47. Favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Bell... when I've forgotten what it did to me the last time.

48. How many times did you fail your drivers test? 0

50. From whom did you get your last e-mail? Someone promising to make it bigger.

52. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Chapters

54. Bedtime? What a good idea.

56. Last person you went to dinner with? In-laws, Rachel, brother-in-law an his girlfriend.

57. What are you listening to right now? Eddy Grant's "Gimme Hope Jo'anna"

58. What is your favorite color? Black

60. How many tattoos do you have?? 0

65. Favorite magazine? This new one called Jeez

I can live with or without you

Well, the last week of school stuff before the summer. Both my classes write exams this week (tomorrow and Wednesday) and then I have to mark them. Might sound bad, but I'd take marking exams over essays any day. I'm marking essays right now (have to have them done for Wednesday) and it's making me suicidal! Exams you don't have to correct, comment and "justify" your mark like you do with essays. You read twice and give it a grade. Easy-peasy. I can't believe I just wrote "easy-peasy".

This weekend was amazing! The weather in Winnipeg has been unusually awesome. Maybe it's global-warming, I have no idea, but I like it! I've been wearing T-shirts and short sleeved shirts since Friday. My in-laws were in town and we spent a lot of time walking outside. Of course, it very well could snow again. Who’s to say?

The weather was just one part of a great weekend. As I said, the in-laws were in town (which was a good thing) and we got to spent a bit more time getting to know my brother-in-law’s girlfriend and her three year old daughter, Julia. Julia’s a riot. We played games, read to her, and went to the park. She dubbed my father and mother-in-law “Rabbit and little rabbit” (though I’m not quite sure why) and dubbed me “That guy”… which, unfortunately, makes perfect sense. After all, how many people in my life have referred to me as “that guy”? Not counting immediate family? Lots.

“Who’d you have for English?”
"Um, that guy. What’s his name? You know."
"Oh yeah, that guy!"

Awkward conversation number 405. Some people are so bloody hard to figure out. One day they're all chatty and friendly and everything's cool. The next day they're stand off-ish and weird. Then back to chatty again. Some people should come with instructions. Or flow charts.

Gimme hope, Jo'anna

Grunt...

It's a grunt sort of day. I'm tired, my head aches and I have a pile of work to do.
Plus the usual, "People are so very frustratating" thing (not you folks; you folks are great). Sometimes it amazes me how freakin'self-absorbed people can be. And some of you wonder about my misantrophy?

Last class at Prov. You'd think they do more than complain. *shrugs* It's not like I wanted a parade. Okay, a parade would have been cool. What about an old, "Hey, liked the class"? I'd planned on laving them with a final poem about how literature can mean different things to you at different times in your life, as an encouragement to continue reading good books. But, frankly, after the apathy and bored looks when reviewing for the exam, I figured, forget it.

I used to dream there were clouds in my coffee

Okay, the game is called "Two Truths and a Lie." It's pretty simple. You tell two truths and lie about yourself; other people (or me) try to figure out which statements are the truth and which is the lie.

Example: 1) I was born in Toronto. 2) Until I moved to Manitoba, only my grandmother regularly called me Michael." 3) I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

If your guessed #1 and #2 were true and #3 was lie, you're RIGHT. I did shoot a man just to watch him die, but it wasn't in Reno.

Wanna play?

It's too cold to be out walking in the streets

It's April and there's a smell in the air... and I'm not talking about the "farm" smell out in Otterburne. I'm talking about the smell of fear. It's exam time and here at the University of Manitoba, and the fear is so thick that you can taste it. it hangs in the air. Students are walking around jacked up on caffine, pencils stuck behind their ears, muttering formulas and dates to themselves. It's a beautiful sight. Sometimes I like to walk by the Multi-purpose rooms 20 minutes before the afternoon exam period. Students are crammed in to the hallways, sitting almost on top of each other to be early to, what?, get a seat? Trying desperately to cram just one more fact into their heads before the exam starts, they have every text book open and all their classnotes spread out in front of them.

You probably think this song is about you

I finally took part in a major Winnipeg institution: today I ate at the Salisbury House. I've lived here for 7 years and I had never even been inside one. Oh, sure, I made the occasional joke (especially when the chain was purchased by a group of investors that included Winnipeg legend/joke, Burton Cummings). For those of you non-Winnipegger's Sal's is... well, like a combination of McDonalds-style fast food, 50s diner and a Perkins. They have burgers (which are called "Nips" for some reason no one seems able to explain) and all-day breakfasts. I had a crispy chicken wrap that was quite good and piece of pie. Yeah, so... Sal's... ate there.

It's spring, and spring in Manitoba means one thing: flooding. The banks of rivers are overflowing; people are sandbagging. I have to watch the news to see if the highway I use to drive to Otterburne will be underwater Wednesday. At the end of our neighbourhood there's a park and a creek that runs off one of the main rivers. I was by there today and the footbridge that crosses the creek is completely underwater. The only evidence a bridge exists is the life-saver bobbing up and down in the water.

Classes are over this week. And while this has been a good semester, I'm glad it's all coming to an end. Caught a student plagiarizing on a major paper the other day. That kind of sucks and means headaches for me (not least of which is being generally pissed off and angry). Blah! I still have a pile of papers still to mark, and now I have no desire to mark them. I just have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach about this. Why would somebody do this? And do it so badly? I mean, I googled one questionable phrase and up popped the original article. And why do I take this all so personally?

I don't have to fight to prove I'm right

1. Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with?
I honestly have no idea who I had my first kiss with, so I'm going to say no.

2. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons?
Find a thosand plastic bowls.

3. What did you do when you were in school in the 2nd grade?
In grage two I learned to swear. My friend Beau taught me.

4. What is the best thing about your job?
Well, it's not marking, that's for sure. I guess something about expanding young minds and shaping the next generations thought? Oh and that I can wear jeans to work.

6. Are you against same sex marriage?
No.

7. Did you vote for Bush?
To do what?

8. Where are you going on your next vacation?
I have no idea.

9. Have you kissed any of your blogging friends?
Um, no.

10. Are most of your friends guys or girls?
Girls.

11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
Yes, Quite a bit I'm afraid to say.

12. Last book you read?
Superman: Birthright (graphic novel) or James Ellroy's White Jazz

13. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Fly.

14. Where have you lived most of your life?
Oshawa, Ontario... Canada

15. What was the last convo you had about?
Work. At lunch.

16. Where do you see yourself in four years?
Sitting at my desk with a big stack of papers still to be marked.

17. What's your favorite smell?
Fresh Nan bread.

18. What is your favorite sound?
The sounds of silence.

19. Are you moody?
Yes.
No. Yes. I mean, I don' know. I hate you.

20. Favorite movie of all time?
Casablanca

22. Have you ever gone to therapy?
No, but I really enjoy the therapy scenes on the Sopranos.

23. Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
Yes, and I wasn't very good at it.

24. Have you ever toilet papered some one's house?
Not a house, but I did toilet paper my highschool one Hallowe'en

25. Have you ever liked someone and not told them?
All the freakin' time.

26. Have you ever gone camping?
Only by accident.

27. Have you ever had a crush on your siblings friend?
No. My sister is four years younger and had ugly friends.

28. Have you ever gone to a nude beach?
Only by accident.

29. Have you ever gone streaking?
Only... no I have never gone streaking. I have performed in front of people wearing almost nothing.

30. Have you ever had a stalker?
Nope.

31. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
I don't think so. You'd think you'd remember something like that. Unless it was really traumatic and you repressed it. So... maybe?

32. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
Yes.

33. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only one
Um, that's not a party then, is it?

34. Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend?
Sure.

35. Have you ever lied to your parents?
Of course.

37. Have you ever been out of the country?
Yes, I have. Thank you very much.

38. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
No, but I always suspected I might. That's why I don't work out.

39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight?
No. Not a straight month. A couple of days maybe. If I had a haircut that bad, I'd just have my head again.

40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in 1 day?
Three meals? Doubtful. I'm not a big breakfast person. But two meals, I'm sure I have.

41. Last song you listened to?
A live version of "Tango to their Sore" by Tom Waits. It's my very favourite Waits song.

42. Have you ever spied on someone?
The Russians. You mean professionally? No.

43. Have you ever slept in the same bed with the opposite sex?
Yes.

44. Have you ever seen your best friend naked?
Yes.

45. Who was the last person who called you?
My mom (somebody shoot me)

46. When was the last time you slept for more then 12 hours?
Friday night to Saturday afternoon. Heavenly.

47. Have you ever been arrested?
Nope. They keep trying, but they just can't catch me. Suckers.

48. Most embarrassing CD you own?
Well, if we're counting cds my wife purchased and I therefore own too, probably something stupid like the Top Gun soundtrack. Of cds I purchased and therefore have no excuse... um...can't think of any. I think I sold all the embarassing ones.

49. Have you ever had surgery?
Only by accident.

I can't help it if I'm lucky

Did you know that golf season is starting up soon?

Neither did I.... until I found a helpful little email from Golfer's World in my Junk Mail folder this morning. And it must be a big deal, right? I mean, they took the time to email me – me, who has never golfed a round in his life!

Now ordinarily the only messages that I find in my Junk folder promise to make me "bigger." Lately there have been a disproportionate number from "females" with names like Candy or Sindy, calling me "Sexy" and looking to "hook up." My astute eye has judged these as fraudulent - no one who's actually seen me would describe me as "sexy".

My goodness, I've used up two whole weeks worth of quotation marks in that paragraph. My apologies, "gentle" "reader."

But today, instead of one of these typical messages waiting to be Trashed like a Frat-boy on Spring Break, I found this one telling me all about the advent of the new golfing season. Now I don't like golf, not even a little bit, but it was refreshing to have something different breaking the monotony of the Junk folder, like a breath of fresh air. Okay, maybe not "fresh" air, but definitely less stagnant.

"But the fool on the hill sees the sun going down

So it's April Fool's Day. I've never been a big fan of April Fool's Day, never much saw the point in jokes and japes and larks being tied to a specific day. But if it's one the same day year after year, don't people start to catch on?

I saw a show on television this afternoon that got me thinking about fooling people and being fooled. The featured an interview with Ray Manzarek, keyboardist for "The Doors." He was talking about (surprise, surprise) Jim Morrison's final days. The interview brought up some of the shadowy circumstances that have lead some fans to believe Morrison actually faked his own death: there was no autopsy, no death certificate, an Algerian doctor who diagnosed failed heart as the cause of death, a closed casket, and a quick burial. Though Manzarek says he believes Morrison's excessive lifestyle finally caught up with him and that Jim did indeed die and is buried in Paris, he also said that if there was anyone in rock and roll who could pull off a stunt like that it was the Lizard King. But some people still believe. Just like some people believe Elvis Presley's still alive somewhere. Or that Andy Kaufman faked his own death as a huge Kaufmanesque joke on the world and that one day he'll return. Or that Tupac faked his own death and is still alive somewhere (I gotta admit this one seems possible as Tupac has released more material since he died than he ever did in life).

Why is it so easy for people to believe that someone would take the time and care to stage their own death and hide out because they're too famous, or they're tired of the fame? Why do people show up at the Comedy Store on the eve of Andy Kaufman's death hoping he'll show up? Has anyone actually pulled this off? And why has no one actually tried it? I think that it's about time that someone actually tried the "fake your own death thing only to return." Could you imagine how big something like that would actually be? Someone we all thought was dead right there on telelvision presenting best Onscreen Kiss at the MTV Movies Awards. We'd all go bananas! I nominate a New Kid on the Block. Any New Kid on the Block. Joey, Jordan, Timmy, Alan… I don’t care. Draw straws. They could certainly use the publicity.