Thursday, February 02, 2006

He was due home yesterday but he ain't here

Technology hates me.

I decided this today as I was trying (mostly in vain) to set up the VPU/computer in my classroom today. You see, I had a Powerpoint presentation to aid in today's lesson - really, if I'm honest, it was just a picture of John Keats, looking all Keats-y in his frilly shirt, and a picture of a grecian urn; not all that essential - but for the life of me, the computer would not cooperate. It would boot, then shut down, then reboot.

No matter what I tried, what threats I uttered (and utter threats I did) nothing would persuade this hunk of chunk to behave. It would discover the same new hardware again and again. It would ask me the same thing again and again.

"You have unused items on your desktop. Would you like to get rid of them?"
"No, thank you. I like them where they are."
"Are you sure? 'Cause I can get rid of them for you. It's no problem."
"I'm quite sure."
"You don't want to think it over a little bit longer? It's a big decision."
And it went on like this for several minutes. The more the cursed thing misbehaved, the more I became determined that it would. I reentered my password three or four times, I opened and closed programs, I tried, tried, TRIED to reason with it, but there was no use.
Then, finally, without warning or justification, it simply decided that it had tormented me long enough and started working. It stopped finding and installing new programs, it ceased worrying about the state of the desktop, it just worked.

But from inside the CPU, very faint but still audible, I heard a chuckle.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

A blood curdling story. I suggest the creation of a luddite organization that will not rest until every diode and transistor lies motionless in the grave.

jpunk5 said...

hunk of chunk...you kill me.

Anonymous said...

I was going to mention the "hunk of chunk" thing, somebody beat me to it.

*grin*

Michael said...

It's an adjectival phrase. I coined it and now I'm trying to popularize it; you know, bring it to the masses. The masses needed something more than the old "hunk of junk" expression. Junk didn't even begin to cover what I think of that computer. What's worse than junk, I asked myself. Vomit's worse tahn junk. So I crossed between "vomit-inducing" and "piece of junk". And now I release "hunk of chunk" into the world, like a bird I have nursed. Use it well, friends!