Well, in an attempt to save myself from an impending nervous breakdown (more on that in a bit) I WAS going to fill out a Monday Mission. However, as has been fairly representative of my existence these days, there isn't one. So instead I'll just type meaningless entries to whoever reads this thing. Does anyone read this? I know, if you come up to me and say "Sweaters, always sweaters" I'll buy you a coke.
So I'm "involved" in my church annual Christmas drama. I purposely use the word "involved" because of its associations with dating -
both are maddening/fun/infuriating/egobuilding/egodestroying. Honestly, I'm more than "involved" - I've done a TON of work on it. I wrote it, cast half the actors, co-directed, designed and helped build the sets; I worked out the lights and have been the one most people have come to with complaints and "suggestions" for next year. I won't get into the whole shabang here (never know who's lurking around) but I don't think I'll be doing one of these again. Though, truth be told, I'm quite proud of the perfomances. I wouldn't trade the people I asked to be in it for anything. But then again I did it all for "she" - not the wisest of moves, but nevertheless. If she's happy with it, how can I be otherwise?
Anyway, happy holidays to all and to all a good night!

Okay, so it's the "holiday season"... bah humbug. But, in keeping with the season, I'll answer the Christmas edition of the Monday mission.

1. So, what do you want for Christmas this year that you probably won't get?

Besides the more ethereal "world peace," "a freakin' clue" answers, I'll stick to the concrete: a new widescreen television and a library of DVDs.

2. What do you know you will be receiving for Christmas this year?

Sweaters, always sweaters

3. If you had the means to do so, what presents would you get some of your
fellow bloggers? Be specific, it's more fun that way!

The only other Blogger I know or even read is Chris: if I could, I'd fly him and his lovely wife to Winnipeg for a visit.

4. Do you support any organizations that provide for the less fortunate during the holidays? Or do any volunteer work?

I used to but not so much any more.

5. Each year about this time, I notice Church attendance seems to spike, then drops off sharply after Christmas. It tickles me that these folks think they are pulling a fast one on the Big Guy. What is the most recent thing guilt has motivated you to do?

Everything I do is motivated by guilt.

6. According to the commercials, the only way to truly tell someone you love them on Christmas day is to let them "Unwrap a Jaguar" automobile. Are there any examples of excessive commercialism and/or blatant disregard for the "Christmas Spirit" that really get under your skin?

Yes.


7. I remember a song where the singers wished they could teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony. What would you like to teach the world?

I don't know, some sort of craft I suppose.

BONUS: Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

Probably, but do you think they care?


Today's comment question: What is your favorite holiday beverage?

Egg nog, lots of it!!! MMmmmmm... it's almost wort the trouble of the holidays to get a frothy cup of nog!!!

1. Do you get sick very often? What illness do you find that you've had most frequently?
I don't get sick that often but when I do it's more an unspecified "sick" feeling than an actual illness like the flu.

2. I know a man who flat out refuses to go to the Doctor's office. You'd need an ambulance to get him near a hospital. Not me, I'd rather go as soon as I feel sick so I can get better. Do you mind going to see the Doctor when you get sick? Do you know anyone who just refuses to go to a Doctor when they get ill? Any idea why they are like that?

Doctors are horrible, evil people who only ever give you "anitbiotics" anyway. Seriously, you could be bleeding from the eyes and what does the doctor say: "I'll put you on antibiotics for a week and, if that doesn't work, we'll get you something stronger. Don't like doctors; don't trust medicine.

3. How about visiting the Dentist? Do you go get a check-up every 6 months? Or do you dread going?

I go but hate it.

4. I've heard about a diet pill called "Thermolift" that allegedly gives you quite an energy rush (oh boy mentioning this will surelybring us all a ton of Google hits won't it?). Although I've thought about getting some of these pill for the times I need a boost, I'm probably not going to take the plunge. Have you ever taken any diet pills, energy pills or energy drinks? How did they make you feel? Do you still take them? How come?

No.

5. Have you heard about "Gastric Bypass" surgery that many celebrities are doing to loose weight? (The process reduces the size of your stomach to facilitate weight loss) What are your thoughts on this procedure? Would you ever consider it? How would you feel if a relative were to decide to undergo the procedure?

Yes I've heard of it. No I wouldn't try it.

6. What do you think the opposite sex needs to experience to fully understand what it is like to be your gender?

A penis.

7. And to lighten things up a bit before we go...What's the most worthless gadget, infomercial item or "looked like a bargain" item you have ever purchased or owned?

the clapper. Clap off.

BONUS: Why can't every day be like Christmas?
What, screaming, arguing, stuff you don't like or want, crying, pretending to be happy. Isn't every day like Christmas?

Today's Comment Question: I have a new, faster computer and I am ready run some new programs and have fun. What do you like to do (games, programs, etc.) on your computer for entertainment? I used to play SIms a lot but then I married my best most successful Sim off and he fell to pieces (rather prophetic, don't you think?) I mostly play spider solitare. That's fun.

Monday Mission Time!

1. Suppose God grants you one miracle. Consider the world in which we live. Consider your life and family. What would you request for this miracle? Are you sure that is the best way to use it? You only get one.

Well, if the ol' I'd want a million miracles doesn't work, I guess I'd ask for something like world peace. Either that or to be uncontrollably attractive to women. It's a coin toss.

2. I believe that prayers do get answered, but I realize not everyone agrees. Have you ever had an experience where you truly believe your prayer was answered? If you don't believe in such things, how come? What is your philosophy on prayer?

Yes I have. I'm not telling.

3. Have you ever lost a pet? That is, have you ever had a pet get loose, run away or be stolen? Did you get it back? How did the loss impact your life?

No I haven't.

4. Getting together with family at the holidays is great, I just love it. Most of all I love the food. What is your favorite holiday food?

Pumpkin pie, though I'm quickly being converted to cream horns!

5. One thing I've noticed about the holidays is that no one makes Pumpkin Pie like my Grandmother. She has totally spoiled me on her recipe, I just don't like the taste of anyone else's Pumpkin Pie. Are there are dishes or desserts that someone in your family fixes better than anyone else?

Nope.

6. Since I have no brothers or sisters, I am always wondering what it would have been like. Now that I am older, it kinda stinks that I will never be an Uncle. Do you have any siblings with children? How does it make you feel to be an Aunt or an Uncle? If not, would you like to be have nieces and nephews? Would you make a good relative to them?

My sister has no children, but swears she'll have 12 one day. That is a day I'm not looking forward to.

7. I am putting together a CD of great holiday music. Do you have any suggestions of what songs (title/artist) I should include?

Fairytale of New York, the Pogues - what better song to sum up the bleakness of the season
Peace on Earth, Bing and Bowie -weird combination of voices, but a phenomenal song

BONUS: How would you feel knowin' prejudice was obsolete and all mankind danced to the same beat?

Just cause they dance don't mean they got rhythm.

Today's Comment Question: Did you see Titanic? Did Rose die at the end or was she just sleeping? I say she was just asleep and dreaming.

She's dead. I killed her.

Just giving the people what they want... surveys!

1. WHAT TIME IS IT? 5:16

2. NAME AS IT APPEARS ON YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Michael William Boyce

3. NICKNAME(S): none

4. PARENTS NAMES: Bill and Roberta Boyce

5. NUMBER OF CANDLES THAT APPEARED ON YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY CAKE: 27

6. DATE THAT YOU REGULARLY BLOW THEM OUT: May 23

7. PETS: None

9. HAIR COLOR: brown

10. FAVORITE BAND(s) : Talking Heads, Velvet Underground

11. FAVORITE CANDY BAR: Crispie Crunch or Wunderbar

12. PARASAILING? What about it?

13. MOST BEAUTIFUL PLACE YOU HAVE EVER VISITED: PEI

14. DO YOU KNOW ANY SWEAR WORDS IN ANY OTHER LANGUAGES? I used to know some russian ones

15. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HYPNOTIZED? nope

16. FAVORITE FOOD: spagetti

17. BEEN TO AFRICA? No but I've been to me (thanks Chris)

18. BEEN TOILET PAPERING?? Yep

19. LOVED SOMEBODY SO MUCH IT MADE YOU CRY? Shut up!

20. BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT? yep though I wasn't driving

21. CRUTONS OR BACON BITS? Croutons are just dried up chunks of moldy bread - gross. Gimme bacon!

22. SPRITE OR 7-UP? Doesn't matter

23. FAVORITE MOVIE(S): of all time Casablanca; Royal Tenebaums, Lady Vanishes, Sanjuro, In the Mood for Love

24. Favorite holiday? Whatever one I get presents or candy on.

25. Favorite day of the week: Tomorrow

26. Favorite word or phrase: whatever

27. Favorite Toothpaste: whatever's by the sink

28. Favorite Restaurant: Olive Garden - so much salad!

29. Favorite Flowers: wilted ones

30. Favorite Drink: diet pepsi

31. Favorite sports to watch: wrestling, though I'm starting to like football too

32. Preferred type of ice cream? mint chocolate chop or candy cane! MMmmmm

33. Favorite Sesame Street Character: Oscar the freakin' Grouch - he's kind of a guru

34. Favorite colors? Shut up!

35. Favorite Fast Food Restaurant: Whatever's closest

36. When was your last hospital visit? Visiting kim in the summer. Hospitals smell funny and it's best not to go anywhere near them.

37. If money was no object, what car would you buy: One that goes and has a cd player

38. How many times did you fail your driver's test: Never

39. Who is the last person you got email from before this? Someone trying to sell me herbal Viagara

40. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? Not lately

41. Which single store would you choose to max out your credit card? HMV

42. What do you do most often when you are bored? MSN; curl up in the fetal position and cry

43. Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest: depends on what you mean by friend - I guess England

44. Most annoying thing people ask me: "Are you sure?"

45. Bedtime: whenever

48. Favorite all time TV shows: Night Court, Mr. Show, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Blackadder

49. Last person(s) you went out to dinner with: Rachel

50. Last Movie you saw? Punch Drunk Love

51. What's in your CD player right now? Built to Spill - they're awesome

52. What is your favorite Smell: fresh bread

53. What book is by your bed? V by Thomas Pynchon and Beautiful Losers by L.C.

54. Most uncommon job you have ever had? I don't know

55. What career you would choose if you could do anything you wanted and make lots of money too? Does Master of the Universe count as job? If so, then that. Otherwise, I'd want to be a writer/director/actor.

56. Make one wish for the thing you would want most: My dreams to come true.

1. Have you ever made a wish that came true?

Probably, but not a good wish (world domination, winning the lottery etc). I get "I wish I could find a parking spot" wishes granted.

2. How about any wishes that you are happy never came true?

Yes (Mike stops talking for fear of incrimination).

3. Do you like who you are? Are you the person you hoped you would become?

I don't love myself all the time, but than I would think that only really shallow people would. I always imagined I would be taller.

4. I recently found some job applications that I never turned in. Back in 1986 I intended to apply at "County Seat" and "Chess King" but got an offer from Penny's (where I worked all through college). It was a good thing, since only one of the three is still around. Have you ever applied for positions, or had any interviews, where you later are glad you never got the job?

Well, one time I applied at Sears and they asked me al these stupid "do you ever get angry" type questions, which I totally lied about. They called me back, but I already landed another job. Good thing cause, in retail, it wouldn't have taken longer before they realized how angry I can get (jk).

5. While on the topic of career opportunities, what was your very first "real" job? What job was the most embarrassing?

First real was "jack-of-all-trades" at a Salvation Army thrift store. I stayed for over six years. I don't think I've had an embarrassing job. Though not all the jobs I've been asked to do at work have been enjoyable.

6. Speaking of news, have you had your 15 minutes of fame yet? Such as being in the newspaper, on television, linked on a high-profile site or otherwise caught in the spotlight of the media?

No.

7. In the USA, many of us will celebrate Thanksgiving this week. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving (or something like it)? Do you enjoy getting together will your extended family for these types of celebrations?

I celebrate Thanksgiving in October, when you're supposed to. I enjoy getting together with friends and family for short, controlled lengths of time - 2-3 hours at the most. After my turkey I need a nap.

BONUS: Where is the tenderness?

I got your tenderness right here.

Stop the world, I want to get off. Just when I think I've seen everything, something comes along and shakes my beliefs, my faith, my understanding of the universe to the core. I saw an Adam Sandler film I liked - check that, loved.
I went in to _Punch Drunk Love_ with an ear full of positive reviews and glowing praise, but deep in side I keept thinking "These people can't be right. They must be talking about another movie." As I sat there, alone in the darkness, I found myself riveted to the screen. It wasn't just the story; it wasn't just the look of the film; I have to admit that it was Sandler himself. What P.T. Anderson has done with _PunchDrunk Love_ is nothing short of a miracle. He takes a "Sandler" type character, Barry Egan, a socially awkward young man with some violent tendencies, and places him in the real world and in real situations. Rather than laugh at the awkwardness of Barry, we connect emotionally with him - feeling for him as Anderson exposes, layer by layer, the circumstances that have made this guy the way he is.
The only brother in a family with 7 sisters, Barry is coddled, teased, harassed and tormented by his sisters. They call his work constantly, ignoring his claims of being with clients; they try to fix him up with women and then proceed to berate and belittle him. Barry has no one he can turn to until one of his sisters introduces him to Len (Emily Watson), whom he falls in love with.
Watching Egan try to fit in might remind one of a half sozen of Sandler's other comdies, but this one is different. Egan isn't the butt of the joke - there is no joke. Acceptance doesn't come with winning a football game or winning a golf game, it comes from loving and being loved

Well, today's another day and... well, nothing's changed. I'm still grumpy. People still suck.

Hmmm, it's getting late, I've been up all day and anything I could possibly write will be marred by my inability to form coherent thoughts, but here I go.
I feel like venting today. Why is it that some people CAN"T reply to my emails, even quick, nice little how you doing ones? Is it the burden of writing? Pressing the keys a little too much work for precious fingers? Of course not, so I've come to the only possible explanation my parnoid brain can come up with... people hate me. There, I said it. People hate me. I said it again.
Now I recognize that the danger of posting this message here is that the wrong people might read this, think I'm talking about them, and barge me with a slew of unnecessary, (and let's face it) unwanted emails. So let's clear this up right now. If you're reading this and THINK I'm talking about you and feel a tinge of remorse deep within your soul, you're not the kind of heartless fiend capable of truly hating me.That you had feelings at all disquailifies you from the I-HATE_MIKE Club. Relax, I'm not talking about you. I know you're busy. You email when you can and I'm grateful. It's the person who gets an email from me and couldn't be bothered opening it for three or four days. Respond? Only if they need information. Wouldn't want to go around encouraging him.
What makes these people truly heartless is the ability to stirke up a perfectly civil, engaging conversation at the exact SECOND I decide that they're no longer worth my time. It's like a preternatural sense: "I'm losing this one. Better talk to him to string him along." And then the whole vicious cycle starts over again. Thinking that it must have just been me, and that they don't hate me, I continue trying to maintain a relationship only to be ignored again. Oh, life, you crazy roller coaster ride. Can't you just jump the track and send us all hurdling to our deaths?
Have a sunshiny day.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............

A rather somber Monday Mission. Remember folks, I don't make up the questions.

1. Although I was told before hand by my mother, my Grandfather finally told me he has cancer and it was speculated he has about 12 months to live. Has someone you know ever told you they had a terminal illness? What was it like for you when you found out. How did that change your relationship with them?

No. Though my grandmother had a stroke, eventually slipped into a coma, and all in all lasted about 5 months. Our relationship changed, well, because she died. It was a little one sided after that.

2. The concept of having 12 months comes as somewhat of a shock. Often those estimates are wrong and a person lives much longer. But still, it makes me think. If you found out you had 12 months to live, what would you do with that time? How would it change the way you live? Or would it?

I would spurn fruit like it was a rabid dog.

3. My Grandfather has decided to undergo chemotherapy. He was told it would not cure him, but it could prolong his life, however his quality of life could diminish. Having watched my father go through all that to no avail, I am not so sure I would choose that option. If you were (or are) in a situation where chemotherapy might cure you, or might not, would endure the usual side effects and discomfort?

Oh heck ya. Plug me in, pump me full of drugs and turn on the freakin' television. I ain't going anywhere.

4. How is your health? How are you doing?

Well, I have a little sniffle... oh shut up.

5. Speaking of health, I was in a Health Food Store Saturday and learned about something called "Ear Candling." It
involves having a helper insert a cone-shaped candle in your ear, lighting it and having the reverse pressure suck the wax out of your ear. Apparently it is very popular. Do you use, or have you ever tried, any alternative heath remedies or procedures? How did that work out? Anything out there we should try (or avoid)?

You want me to stick a candle in my ear? Bite me. I don't like taking any medicine. I don't trust anyone.

6. Which reminds me, this week at work they are giving flu shots for $15. I hate getting shots, so getting one by choice, and paying for it, is tough for me. How do you feel about Flu shots. Do they give them where you live? Are you going to get one or take your chances?

These are stupid questions. People who are "at risk" get flu shots for free. I don't like needles.

7. I'd like to see either "Spirited Away" or "Bowling for Columbine" before they vanish from the multiplex at the mall. But I will probably have to go see it alone (which I hate). Do you like to go to see flicks at the movie theater alone? Or would you rather have company? Seen any good (or bad) movies lately?

I like seeing movies alone. No problem there, but I used to feel weird about it. Then i looked around at the kind of people other people went with. You can always tell who's there because someone else didn't want to be alone. It's not worth it.

BONUS: Don't you want somebody to love?

Shut up.

Watched the Royal Tenenbaums again yesterday. Is there a more perfect comedy? I'm not sure. Obviously Rushmore is a close second. But in an era of "show your bum" comedy, a film that makes you think and laugh is a rare treat.

I'm often asked about television and what shows I like. While I do possess a near encyclopedic knowledge of television from the late 70s to the late 90s, very little has grabbed my attention of late. While there are several shows I like, thers' nothing I schedule my life around. Even the Simpsons, once the best show on TV, has become stale. This week's season opener was the same duller, celebrity filled nonsense we've seen time and time again. If famous people are going to do voices, why don't they be characters?

1. Have you ever had to appear in court? What was the reason? How did it turn out?
No.

2. Ever been accused of something you never did? Were you able to convince anyone?
I would think everyone has at some point in their lives. Sometimes i can convince people, sometimes I can't. Que sera sera.

3. When it comes to crime and punishment, do you agree with the saying "An eye for an eye?"
Depends on whether it's my eye. No, it don't.

4. Are you a judgemental person? Do you ever make up your mind about a person before you know them? When was the last time that happened? Or if not, how do you keep from being judgemental?
Yes. It happened yesterday. I was right.

5. When I was in 6th grade I lit a match in class accidentally and was given the choice of having my folks called or getting 10 "swats." I took swats and damn, that wooden paddle with the holes drilled in it hurt like hell (not to mention the horible whistling sound it made before impact). I don't think they allow "swats" anymore. Ever get "swats" at school? How do you feel about children being spanked in school. Is it best that they don't do that anymore? How about parents spanking kids? Good or bad?

How do you "accidently" lite a match in class? They should have hit you AND called your folks. Never been subjected to swats, but I was threatened with it in Grade one. Back then teachers couldn't hit you but the vice Principal or Principal could in extreme circumstances. A friend and I had chased some girl and made her cry and where called to the VP's office under the threat of a good paddling.
Spanking's fine - it's the attitude of the parents administering the spanking where the problem lies. I think we've all seen the mother/father who loses it in pulic and just starts wailing on their kid. That's abuse, cause they're not in control. There's nothing in the behaviour of the adult that lets the child know "if I do something bad, I'll be punished" All the children of these people get is the message "if Mom/Dad get mad, I'm going to get hit." My parents spanked me, but they always (or almost always) waited until they were calm enough to administer appropiate spankings. We talked about the spankings as punishment for doing wrong - not getting them p.o'd. Though I never bought the line "this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you."


6. What is your favorite "Chick Flick?"
First, you need to define the term "chick flick." To many guys that applies to any film without explosions or blood shed- which ae most of the films I like. If chick flick mean plot over action, Casablanca. If chick flick means female protagnists, then You Can Count on Me.

7. Describe the last situation you were in that can best be summed up by the phrase "seemed like a good idea at the time?"
Errrr... life in general seems best summed up that way.

BONUS: Who will bury us when we die?
Gravdiggers, stupid.

Today's Comment Question: What's your favorite saying (currently)?
What's the dealio?

I finally finished Yi Yi yesterday. What an incredible film! It's film like this that makes me furious with the North American movie system. Such a simple film, simple stories about the lives of a Chinese family - no explosions, no slapsticky humour. Why can't films like this be made in North America? Because the audience wants to see Adam Sandler fall on his backside? Because we enjoy watching the same movie over and over and over with different actors? Because we're too stupid to appreciate art? I don't think so.

Alright. While my wife and her brother went to see Bowling for Columbine last night, I stayed home and watched several episodes of Fawlty Towers. We got the DVD set a couple of weeks ago and I put the first episode in a few days after it arrived. To be honest, I wasn't thrilled. Maybe it was my mood, maybe it was the episode, but I wasn't in to it. Now, don't get me worng, I love Fawlty Towers, have for many years. I haven't watched them in a while, but I don't think that had anything to do with my disappointment.
Last night I found myself completely entrawled with the show. I laughed out loud (which I'm sure the neighbours loved) many times and kept coming up with excuses to put off work so that I could keep watching. It was absolutely magical. John Cleese plays tightly wound better than anyone else alive. To watch him get worked up and up and up, to the point of breaking is truly a thing of beauty, And then when he lets fly - forget about it. When I first saw FT I don't think I appreciated how carefully crafted each episode is, how several plots weave in and out, rapid fire delivery, and how the whole show revolves around one final scene - be it the Germans or the Major's recalling Basil did give him the money. The genius of the show is the path the plot takes to that final scene. So often in comedies today the final scene is obvious, but so is the path to that scene. With Fawlty Towers the trip's an adventure.

Oh dear Lord! Not another survey! Oh the humanity!!!!

1. How many TVs do you have in your home?

One.

2. On average, how much TV do you watch in a week?

Far too many. It's the Who's the Boss hours you never get back.

3. Do you feel that television is bad for young children?

Yep.

4. What TV shows do you absolutely HAVE to watch, and if you miss them, you're heartbroken?

There aren't any right now. Used to be Dawson's Creek, but it's stupid now. Maybe Friends or Scrubs, but I'm hardly passionate about them.

5. If you had the power to create your own television network, what would your line-up look like?

Monkeys in little hats. Lots of interesting comedy shows - MST3k reruns, Mr Show, Kids in the Hall, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Blackadders; lots of hard to find classic and foreign movies; No eveyone loves Raymond, no Home improvement reruns no crap!

See, I found a friend's new blog and had to steal all the questionarres.

1. Have you ever felt like you were expected to set a good example for others?

Yes. Whenever I'm out with "youth" or around kids.


2. What keeps you on the right path? For example, why do you think you turned out the way you did as opposed to the nut ball sniper out there?

Fear.

3. Sometimes things seem different than they really are. When was the last time you believed something to be one way only to learn you had it all wrong?

You want me to pick just one example of this? Forget it. Happens all the time. Ask my wife.

4. Can you recall a time when being alert and observant kept you safe?

Not today.

5. Who in your personal circle of relationships do you think is smarter than you?

Who isn't

Are they smarter in just one area, or overall?

They're smarter all over me.

How do you feel about that?

Mmmaaa. Happens all the time.

How do they interact with you?

Pats on the head, bribes of candy, the usual.

6. Let's daydream a little: Describe in detail the most perfect lazy day, start to finish.

Wake up whenever, watch TV (and there be good stuff on), eat something, watch a movie, read a little, nap, repeat.

7. Are you dressing up for Halloween?

Who's asking? Yes


What is the most favorite costume you ever had?

I was Robin. It was a wicked costume but my Mom made me wear a snowsuit underneath it. Robin NEVER wore a snowsuit underneath his costume.


Today's Comment Question: What gives you the creeps?

Brittany Spears little sister... Ladies and gentlemen, the future of skank.

More stupid insights into Mike (maybe this is why my world isn't exciting)

1. What's the most expensive meal you've ever eaten? What was the occasion? Was it worth it?

The Old Prune in Stratford Ontario. It's a bad sign when there are no prices beside the food. Three people: $245. Ouch.

2. What do you like to do when nobody is looking?

Smile... but only when people aren't looking.

3. What's your special purpose?

For what? What kind of stupid question is this?

4. Do you like Autumn? If so, why? If not, tell me about your favorite season.

Not a bad season. Far too short here in Manitoba. Here fall is the week between summer and winter.


5. Ever recommended a movie to someone only to have them hate it? Which movie? Did you feel uncomfortable about that?

All the freakin' time. Often I think things that you have to think about and most people just want to see stuff blow up. Though anyone has loved Pootie Tang!

6. I've had hay fever all day! Sniffles, sneezing, I tell ya, it's awful! Do you have any allergies? Anything that just gets you down for the count?

No. Take your snot and go home!!!

7. Do you like mixed drinks? What is your favorite? As long as we're here how about you order me something too? Just "suprise me!"

I'm really not a big drinker anymore. If you're buying, I'll have rum and Coke (though could it be Diet Coke?)

1. If you could only choose 1 cd to ever listen to again, what would it be?


New Skin For The Old Ceremony

2. If you could only choose 2 movies to watch ever again, what would they be?

Casablanca and Human Condition - the one I love, the other I haven't had time to watch

3. If you could only choose 3 books to read ever again, what would they be?

The Complete Poems of John Donne; Divine Comedy; High Fidelity

4. If you could only choose 4 things to eat or drink ever again, what would they be?

Spagetti, Diet Pepsi, Peanut Butter, Bread

5. If you could only choose 5 people to ever be/talk/associate/whatever with ever again, who would they be?

Oh yeah right. Those I leave off eill be as upset as those I choose. Fat chance, buddy.

I've started writing again, though I only ever seem to rewrite the same four or five chapters. Still, it's writing, and just think, in ten years, I'll have a killer opening to an unfinished book.

No complaining today (sorry for excreting my bile all over this site, but, hey, it's my site)

Movie stuff!!!

Watched The Devil's Backbone, the acclaimed Spanish film from the director of the not-so-acclaimed Blade 2. I learned along time ago that we shouldn't judge a foreign director by his first few English language films. Did not John Woo direct a Van Damme film? Actually all Woo's English films suck (yes, even Face Off), so he's a bad example. Anyway, I digress. DB is a tightly knit little thriller/drama set at an orphanage/school in Revolutionary Spain. Not only does the orphanage have its share of dirty little secrets, it also has a ghost, "the one who sighs." Not giving too much away, the ghost wants to avenge himself on his killer.
What I particularly liked about this film is that it avoids the traps of modern Hollywood ghost stories of pushing the special effects down our throats. The effects of this film (with the notable exception of the ghost's skeleton being visible when he walks) are kept to a minimum. There aren't large computer generated figures, a la House of Haunted Hill or the Haunting. The terror comes more from atmosphere and implication.
To characterize this film as a horror film, though is to do it a grave disservice. Sure, the ghost is important, but the story is about so much more. In fact, this is likely why many people might find it too boring. There isn't enough terror and too much plot for most diehard horror fans.

this post has been removed cause I didn't like it anymore

Saw Eric Rohmer's Pauline at the Beach yesterday, which I really enjoyed. Rohmer has a knack for creating interesting characters and engaging dialogue that makes the lack of plot virtually unnoticable. While the beautiful Marion rattles on incessantly about love, her quiet 15 year old cousin, Pauline, maintains the calm centre of the film. Though her cousin is the object of male desire and the focus of male attention, Rohmer keeps Pauline in the viewer's mind by placing her in frame when men talk to Marion. While Marion and the men are still, Pauline, ignored by the characters but not by the viewer, continues to walk around, catching our eye.Indeed, it is Pauline who proves to be the more interesting of the two. Marion's deluted views of love are continually undermined by her choice of lovers. She believes Henri to be as in lover with her as she is with him, with little evidence to support that. Pauline, on the other hand, chastizes the "adults" for their stupid games - games she refuses to play.
While Pauline remains at the centre of the film's attention, the viewer's most ready ally seems to be Sylvian, Pauline's boyfriend. Recognizing Marion's beauty, he prefers Pauline. Like the viewer, Sylvian inadvertantly gets caught up in the game of the adult lovers- even to the point of being set up as cheating on Pauline to save Henri from being caught with another woman. When Pauline confronts Sylvian about this, he shrugs and tells her there was nothing he could say. Like the viewer, Sylvian is dumb - unable to tell Marion about her poor choice, unable to stand up for ourselves; silently complacent in the crime.

Alright, Canadian Thanksgiving. Whoopee. I'm NOT spending the day alone today, which, given my state of mind, is likely a good thing. Being home, my mind turns over events and situations probably best left unanalysed - why is [name withheld] acting like this? Is he/she mad at me? I thought we were friends? What did I do? - the usual paranoid delusions. What else are hoildays for?

Speaking of paranoid delusions, I saw N. Roeg's Don't Look Back last night. Creepy little film that builds to an intense climax. Aside from one rather graphic sex scene (and much more of Donald Sutherland than I ever wanted to see), I'm not sure about the tag "erotic thriller." Indeed, the sex scene seems a little out of place. While it certainly symbolsizes Julie Chirstie's character's imporved state of mind, and is interestingly shot (cutting between sex and getting dressed afterwards), the scene frankly goes a little long. Which, I fear, might be the typical viewers respoonse to the film as a whole. While talk of psychic powers and warnings from beyond the grave are mentioned, they don't drive the plot forward. In fact, the figure in the red coat is sparingly seen. This might be disappointing. I, on the otherhand, felt that by turning down the intensity early on in the film, the climax becomes more chilling because it truly sneaks up on you. I can say with some certainty that when Donald Sutherland approaches the figure in the red coat I was as scared as I have ever been - truly frightening.

I also continued my ongoing Preston Sturges fest with Hail the Conquering Hero. With many faces and some similiar elements from Miracle of Morgan's Creek (Eddie Bracken as a hapless boob whose major anxiety is his inability to enlist for WW2), HCH is an excellent companion film, but not equl to, MMC. I found this films paricularly interesting after haivng studied the war poetry of Rosenberg, Sassoon, and Owen. With so many men being killed and killing, how can one be sinlged out as a hero - for, truly what is "heroic" about modern warfare? Sturges' film acts as a mild criticism of the American hero-wroshiping tendencies, to incapsulate an event in a few human faces. As I said, this criticism is mild, nevering at the expense of the comedy, but runs throughout the picture.

I have a few more films waiting to be watched over the next several days (I'm taking full advantage of having the place to myself), but turkey calls. A fine, wonderful family has invited me over. I must make myself presentable.

Okay, the world's just not exciting today. In fact, life kinda sucks. Had a rotten day on Wednesday - yelled at my class for being unresponsive - and I just can't shake this funk of depression. Weird. Haven't felt this way since highschool. Have found myself listening the Radiohead's High and Dry over and over again, which I haven't been able to do since a friend in university ruined that song for my by singning it incessantly!
On the plus side, I get to spend the holidays alone. My wife and brother-in-law are taking the eighties road show to Regina to visit their parents. I have committments in the city until Sunday and to drive out Sunday and turn around and come back Monday would kill me. To be honest, good riddance to the holiday. Maybe I'll just buy a pumpkin pie (the best thing about Thanksgiving anyway), order a pizza, curl up on the couch with a blanket and watch reruns of Golden Girls and Who's the Boss.
My film watching has been as eventful as my life. Started watching Dr. Strangelove but only got about half way through it when I was interupted and had to turn it off. I was reallly enjoying it and was completely amazed that I hadn't seen it before. I thought I had. It's one of those films that's just in the culture so purvasively. I starting watching and about ten minuntes in I realized I had no idea what was going to happen. Sure, I know the visuals (Slim Pickens riding the bomb) some jokes ("Gentlemen, you can;t fight in here. This is the War Room"), but the plot is completely fresh to me. I was actually excited when I realized this.
I've also been watching the Granada TV series The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, with Jeremy Brett. I got the complete first series on DVD and have watched the episodes in order. A remarkable series, these shows set the cliches about Holmes aside (the brown checked deerstalker and the large curved pipe) and treat the stories with dignity and respect - as much as I like Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes, his films, particularly the depiction of Waston, is hardly respectful to the source. I also have a number of episodes from the other series (Return, Casebook, Memoirs) on tape from about 8 years ago and have been watching them. Especially now, with Max Headroom's version of Holmes airing every few weeks (complete the costume and an upper-class twit accent), it's good to go back to Brett and see the true complexities of the character.
Enough... be gone.

My choices today: survey or work... Guess which one I decided to do.


NAME: Michael Boyce

SEX: Male

NICKNAMES: Shakespeare.

HOME: do I have one? yes

HEIGHT: 5'10"

AGE: 27

EYES: yep

FAVORITE RELATIVE: What kind of fights are you trying to start with this question?

WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER MOST ABOUT 1999?: The year I moved to Winnipeg

DO YOU SMOKE: nope.

FAVORITE TV SHOW: Simpsons are getting tired, so I'll say Scrubs

WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSEPAD: my mouse?

ONE PILLOW OR TWO: Two one to sleep on, the other to cuddle - shut up!

PIERCINGS OR TATTOOS: Like I'm willingly gonna let someone stick a needle in me when I'm not sick

WHO IS THE SILLIEST/CRAZIEST PERSON YOU KNOW? hmmm...I don't know

FAVORITE DRINK: Diet Pepsi

FAVORITE SOUND: a guitar gently weeping

FAVORITE SMELL: Clothes fresh from the dryer

FAVORITE HOLIDAY: Christmas. My birthday (okay so it's not an official holiday but it sometimes falls on Victoria Day)

FAVORITE CHRISTMAS CAROL: Good King Wencelas and Fairytale of NewYork by the Pogues-cause they have nothing really to do with Christmas other than the attitudes of the seasons.

WORSE FEELING IN THE WORLD: rock climbing harness. ouch!

BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: the moment between sleep and awake

FAVORITE THING TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: watch movies, sleep

FAVORITE TOWN TO CHILL IN: Waterloo

FAVORITE THING TO DO ON A PLANE: not die

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 10 YEARS: too creepy to even think about

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING?: Do I have to get up?

HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? one or two

ARE YOU A GOOD FRIEND: I don't think I'm the person to answer this. Ask my friends

FAVORITE FOOD: pasta

WHEN YOU MEET A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX WHAT DO YOU NOTICE FIRST: Smile

HAVE YOU EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING? no. though I did have a bathing suit that turned out to be almost see-thru, Does that count?

WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED: dust bunnies and stuff

DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS:Pretty well

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME: convicted? No.

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: chocolate

THUNDERSTORMS~LIKE OR DISLIKE: dislike

CROUTONS OR BACON BITS: bacon bits - croutons are just dry bits of bread; gross

DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE: No

IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE: Shakespeare.

FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE: Guiness

IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? black but it would look stupid

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE: Yeah I guess

ARE YOU STILL IN LOVE: see above

WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?: posters,

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? too small...

FAVORITE MOVIES: Casablanca, Lady Eve, Royal Tenenbaums

FAVORITE SONGS: Across the Universe, Death is Not the End (Nick Cave's version)

FAVORITE MUPPET: Rolf, the original Muppet!

MOVIE THAT MAKES YOU CRY: anything with Adam Sandler (boo);

RIGHTY/LEFTY: I am right handed.

DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS: fingers? What are the "right" keys, keyboard Nazi!!!

BEATLES OR ELVIS: who's Elvis?

FAVORITE NUMBER: don't have one

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR: one with a driver

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM TRUCK: do I look like a red neck?

WHO IS/WAS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET CRUSH: the girl with the prettiest eyes

BESIDES SOMEONE IN YOUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY, WHO HAS HAD THE MOST IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE: my professors

FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: wrestling. and if you laugh, I'll piledrive you

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Nope and nothing you can say will convince me. Infatuation at first sight, yes. Love, no way.

EVER BEEN CHEATED ON: Yep. Grrrrr

EVER CHEATED ON SOMEONE: Nope.

DUMPER OR DUMPEE: I thinkI've always been the dumpee. Once I wanted to be the dumper, but was worried about how my friends would react (my girlfriend was a close friend's sister) so I stuck it out until she broke up with me. Lame.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN EVIL: sure and I can tell you where her office is on campus

EVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT? Not since I was a kid. Apparently I didn't do it well.

In my neverending quest to provide the world with useless information, here's a Monday Mission.... And all the people said, "Amen."

1. Do you have a favorite piece of poetry or prose written by someone else? Care to share it?

Poetry: "I'm a Jam Tart" W.H Auden
"My way is to begin with the beginning" Byron
Prose: "Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth." Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, A Study in Scarlett

2. In High School, did you enjoy creative writing? Do you currently do any other writing in addition to your Blog?

I loved creating writing in highschool - short stories, plays, novels. Didn't keep a word of it though. I do try to write outside of this blog, but finding time can be a challenge. I've recently completed a play, a screenplay and have been working on a novel off and on for the past two years.

3. Have you ever noticed that the Blog entries you least expect to get the most comments do, and those you expect to generate a lot of feedback don't? Which Blog entry of yours surprised you by getting a lot of comments? Which one did you think would generate a lot but didn't?

I don't get comments. I doubt if anyone reads this.

4. Sometimes you get a chance to make a lifestyle change that has a huge impact on the course your life takes. That is, a moment where something became very clear to you, and that realization changed your life, such as: the need to leave a relationship, to stop an addiction, to bond with someone, to start a new career, and so on. Have you ever had an "awakening" moment in your life?

No. I'm not a big believer in epiphanies. We often realize something profound, but rarely does this have an earthshaking impact upon our lives. To effect real change requires constant work.

5. Then there are other times where you can have a huge impact on someone else's life. You suggest they see a doctor, stop them from taking that last drink, or maybe just say some kind words at the moment. Have you made a lasting positive impact on the life of someone else?

I certainly hope not. I shutter to think I might have that kind of power.

6. Are there any charities or organizations which you support? How did you come to be involved with them?

Not really. I have helped out with Winnipeg Harvest and other organizations, but there isn't a number of them that I help on a regular biases.

7. Care to collaborate with me? Help me out and write the rest of this poem:

I drifted though a dream last night,
visions full of colors bright.
My thoughts began to drift to you,
and in an instant we were two.
I touched your hand,
We began to blend,
Filled with a feeling
that should have no end.

But it did, I hate you.
And I stole your credit card.


BONUS: Hey cutie, what's up with this attitude?

Why don't you step a little closer and ask that?

Yesterday was Tuesday. I like Tuesdays for the simple fact that I don't have to go to school and I have the house to myself from about 11:30am on. I can watch movies I enjoy, instead of trying to sit through some childish flick that has little to no emotional connection with me.
Being alone, I threw on The Miracle of Morgan's Creek, yet another film by one of the funniest filmmakers of all time, Preston Sturges. While The Lady Eve might well be Sturges best film (and my personal favourite comedy), Morgan's Creek is a close second. With razor sharp dialogue, incredibly talented physical actors, and the undercurrents of blasphemy and risque subject matyer, Sturges constructs a tightly wound plot about the spontenous marriage of Trudy Kockenlocker (how did Sturges get this name by the censors?) to an unnamed G.I. After a farewell party for the boys, Trudy returns home with a curtian ring on her finger and the faint recollection of a wedding. Soon after, Trudy discovers that she's pregnant! Facing disgracement she attempts to marry Norville Jones, a local banker who's been in love with Trudy since they were kids. Realizing that Norville really does love her, and that she truly loves him, Trudy can't agree to the match - "It's bigamy!" Without the marriage certificate from the first wedding, Trudy can't have that union annulled, so she and Norville get married with him posing as the first husband. When he accidently signs his real name in the register, he's arrested for impersonating an officier, contributing to the moral deliquiency of a minor and a slew of other charges. He escapes (relucantly) and Trudy and her family move from town to avoid disgrace (remember, this is the 40s). When Trudy does have the children (yes, children), the whole marriage issue is resolved with a gubernially gesture. Hilarious!

As I've commented before about Sturges' films, what makes Morgan's Creek shine is the cast of secondary characters - Trudy's sister, the town lawyer, the banker. Far and away the best of these characters is William Demarest as Trudy's single, putupon father. With physical comedy equal to Eddie Bracken's, a rough, loud demeanor, Demarest is perfect and, unlike in other Sturges films, properly utilized.

Okay. I saw The Others yesterday. It was a film that people I liked and respected have been telling me to see for quite a while, and I finally got around to it. Now, the first thing I should address is the "Big Twist" at the end, wasn't that much of a surprise. It doesn't help that the stupid cover box announces that the film has a twist, so I was watching and postulating thirty possible endings within the first ten minutes. It seems to me that "Big Twist" movies are rapidly becoming a genre - Sixth Sense, Unbreakable etc. Like those films, if you're watching carefully, you'll figure it out. Unlike those films - and I'm sure I'll take heat for this - it doesn't matter because the film is so well made.
Unlike the Sixth Sense, which frankly I didn't care for, The Others gives no sense of let down once the plot twist is revealed. It's a neat little piece of plotting, but it doesn't undermine the 1 1/2 hours the viewer has invested in the film and the characters. In SS, when we learn Bruce Willis is a ghost (though if you were fooled, you weren't watching) it's almost like "Why why do I care about this guy now? So what if his wife's cheating? on him" Sixth Sense also ends on a relative upbeat - Willis going to the other side. In the Others there's no sense of going anywhere - despite the fervent spiritual beliefs of some characters, there doesn't seem to be an "other" side. I thought this aspect of the film was brillant. No cliches, no pat answers, no white light, just uncertainty.

Greetings form 80s limbo. The Magic of Henson, the Genius of Lucas, the Androgony of Bowie. That's right, folks, tonight's feature is none other than Labyrinth (1986) - yet another film that was some sort of lynch pin of my wife and brother-in-law's childhood, which I think is a pile of crap. Here's the weird part, though- I'm a huge Muppet fan. If they were watching the Muppet Movie, I'd be right there beside them, but Labyrinth is so mindnumbingly pointless that it's hard to appreciate the pupptry. So, while they watch, I'll sit up here and complain about their taste. I thik it's reached a point that no matter what film of their childhood they bring home, I'm not going to watch it.
On a brighter note, I've been re-watching Out of Sight. This was the film that I really noticed Steven Sodenbergh's genius for story and visual filmmaking. Sex Lies and Videotape was an interesting small budget project, but visually it wasn't much to write home about. In OOS Sodenbergh knows right where to put the camera and which visual tricks will work (slo-mo, freeze frame). What I especially like about this film is what Sodenbergh was praised so highly for with Traffic, his use of an ensemble cast. Sure, with Traffic he had some higher profile people, but OOS is driven byt he secondary charcters. From Glen the pothead without a thought in the world, to Snoop, to Buddy, there's not one false or uninteresting or forgetable secondary actor. Each one adds something to the story, each one stands out.
Well, about a hour and fifteen mintues until Labyrinth's done.

Okay. Lots of movie stuff to write about tonight. I saw or finished three films yesterday (while preping for class). First, I finished Tampopo. I wasn't sure if I'd seen this film or not. About half way through I decided that I had probabaly seen it on Bravo one night back in Ontarion and didn't pay that much attention. While the film has a certain charm, I was left feeling dissatisifed. Were I sum this film up in a single word, that word would have to be disjointed. Too much time was spent following stories that had nothing to do with the main plot. It gave the impression of a less amusing Monty Pythonesque, sketch-based film. While some of these side stories provide the majority of humour, they drag the film down by diverting attention from Tampopo and her noodle shop.
Saw Neil LaBrute's Possession in the theatre. Being a huge fan of the novel, I had my reservations about going to see this film. The novel is a huge, multi-charactered work that is as much abouit literature and writing as it is about anything else. Whatever the filmmakers would do with the material would have to omit this. What's left is a rather intersting little film, though Labrute is able to allude to a multi-genric work through the use of voiced over letters. My one complaint is the decision to change the lead charcater from a native Brit academic to an American academicx working in Britain. The switch in national identity isn't so bad (actually the actor impressed me), but so much is made of his being an "American" that it's distracting. Anytime Roland does anything sponteneous the other characters, who are all British, make some crack about the stupidity or rashness of all Americans. It's a cheap joke that might have worked once or twice, but is beaten like the proverbial dead horse.
FInally, I saw Traffic, which, I must admit, I really liked. I've been a huge Soderbergh ever since Out of Sight. While I found Erin Brokovitch manipulativ and heavy handed, Soderbergh's films are usually top rate. While I liked the movement between storylines, some storylines didn't holdup as well as others. As enjoyable as it was to see the kid from That's 70s SHow freebasing, I found his storyline, and that of Michael Douglas's daughter, to be tettering on the cliched - rich kid takes the drugs, life falls to crap. For my money the real stand out performance is Don Cheadle and Luis Guzman, despite all the critical praise heaped on Benicio del Toro. I could have watched a two plus hour film of Cheadle and Guzman talking in the van - the dialogue about the patch was hilarious!!!

Survey time!

1. WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR ‘BLOG NAME?

My world's not very exciting.

2. NAME FIVE OF YOUR FAVORITE PIG-OUT FOODS.


1. Nachos.
2. Carrots and hummous.
3. Honey garlic wings.
4. Chocolate
5. Fries and gravy.


3. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A MAKEOVER?


Sha-right!

4. NAME ALL MEMBERS OF THE BEATLES.


1. George
2. Paul
3. Ringo (the un-talented Beatle)
4. John
5. Stuart Stutcliffe (sp?)
6. Pete Best
7. Apu

5. WHAT'S THE LONGEST TIME YOU'VE STAYED OUT OF THE COUNTRY/WHERE?

Couple of weeks. Went to Florida with a friend.

6. ONE THING YOU'RE GRATEFUL FOR, TODAY.

That today's almost over.

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MEMORY?

Being on stage. I loved that.

8. WHAT IS THE MOST INSANE THING YOU'VE DONE FOR/TO YOUR CRUSH THAT HE/SHE MIGHT NOT/MIGHT KNOW ABOUT?

Ummm, told her. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

9. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING.

One where I do minimal work but reap the benefits... oh wiat, that was my wedding.

10. WOULD YOU EVER JOIN TEMPTATION ISLAND?

As what?

11. NAME THREE [3] TEACHERS YOU LIKED IN HIGH SCHOOL/ELEMENTARY.

Mr. Kuzurko - great drama teacher; intorduced me to Blackadder, for which I'm eternally grateful
Mr. Pape - let me read Lady Chatterly's Lover as an OAC Enlgish assignment - wicked man
Mr. Olynyk or Mr. Butler - turned me on to lots of things I probably wouldn't have read

12. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE QUOTE? WHAT IS IT?

I forget.

13. MY FIRST HEARTBREAK HAPPENED WHEN I WAS... [CARE TO SHARE THE STORY?]

... in the sandbox. Know what? I can't even remember. I'm sure it sucked at the time, but there've been much worse since.

14. THE SCHOOL PICTURE YOU BURIED IN YOUR BOTTOM DRAWER?

Me and my friends mostly naked on stage.

15. DO YOU HAVE ANY WEIRD PREFERENCES? WHAT ARE THEY?

I don't think so. I guess I like foreign films better than American "blockbusters" Most people find that weird. I also like Mexican wrestling.

16. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?

Can I rephrase that: What is one thing you will understand about the opposite sex?

Nothing.


17. NAME ONE TV CHARACTER YOU'D MOST WANT TO BE.

People on tv get away with smart-alec comments that I always get blasted for. I'd like to be someone allowed to be sarcastic.

18. LAST BOOK READ?

Still trying to finish Great Expectations. Read the Canterbury Tales for class - does that count?

19. IF YOU WERE FAMOUS, AND WERE TO BE A GUEST ON A TALK SHOW, WHOSE SHOW WOULD YOU CHOOSE? WHY?

Tom Synder's old show, cause I'm going to look good no mater what I say or wear.

20. GIVE YOURSELF A PORN STAR NAME.

Under no circumstances!

21. DO YOU HAVE ANY WEIRD SLEEPING HABITS?

Like covers but kick them off. Hug my pillow (it doesn't have elbows!)

22. WHAT DO/DID YOU PLAN TO DO THIS SUMMER?

Wanted to finish my novel and at least one screenplay. Didn't

23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG RIGHT NOW?

"A Little Less Conversation"

24. WRITE A LINE FROM ANY SONG.

I want to be good, is that not enough


25. DO YOU KNOW AT LEAST ONE DISNEY SONG BY HEART? WHICH ONE?

I know FAR too many - including some pretty obscure ones.

26. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM HOUSE.

Room that's strictly home theatre and an office for me - don't care about the rest

27. YOUR TYPICAL SLEEPWEAR:

Pj bottoms or boxers and a Tshirt


28. WHAT'S IN YOUR BAG?

Books, lots of books


29. WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET?


Some ID. A credit card. A bank card. Notes to myself

30. HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR WALLET RIGHT NOW?

$0

31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PAIR OF SHOES?

My 8 hole Doc Materns.

32. IF YOU COULD'VE GONE TO YOUR SENIOR PROM IN A DIFFERENT OUTFIT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

I wore a black tux and looked cool. Why change that?

33. HOW WAS YOUR SENIOR PROM?

Long. And my friends and date ditched me. Long story.

34. TELL US ABOUT ANY OF YOUR BIRTHDAYS.

They happen on May 23.

35. WOULD YOU RATHER BE A HOBBIT, AN ELF OR A DWARF?

I'd rather be me.

36. WHAT ARE THE FIRST FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD SPLURGE ON IF YOU WERE A BILLIONAIRE?


1.Goodbye student loans.
2.Movies. Lots of them and the biggest television I can find.
3. A house to put the television in
4. A party for my friends and semi-friends.
5. Start a business with aportion of the profits going to various chairties and shelters.


37. WHAT IS YOUR DAILY BEFORE-GOING-TO-BED RITUAL?

I watch movies, debate whether I want a snack, drink some water, brush teeth, have snack, brush teeth again, read, watch tv, putz around for another half hour doing one or more the afore mentioned activites... fall asleep

38. WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST/FUNNIEST NICKNAME ANYONE HAS EVER CALLED YOU?

Shakespeare.

39. NAME THREE [3] OF YOUR FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTERS.

Space Ghost, Homer, Eeyore.

More adventures in 80s limbo with my wife and her brother. They returned form the video store with The Dark Crystal. While I'll admit, I had a fondness for this film when I was younger, time has not been kind to Henson's film. As much as I might want to recapture my former feelings, I can't ignore the drawbacks and shortcomings of the film. First, the hero is of the Luke Skywalker, whiny, wimpy, and not all that bright school of heroism. I don't like it in Star Wars (anymore) and I don't like it here. I can't stand films where the main character, the person supposedly chosen for greatness by some ancient prophecy, stands around, looking at the walls while his opportunity to get the job done slowly slips away. Case on point: at the end of the film,Jen (who named this guy?) is alone in the crystal room with the shard of crytsal in his hand. all he has to do is insert the piece and his job's done. Does he? Of course not. he stands around, gawking while all the bad guys come in. Pathetic. When he finally does spring into action, he drops the shard on the ground. Loser!!!
When I'm alone, I've been watching Henri-George Clouzot's Wages of Fear, an amazingly tense 50s film. Two trucks, loaded with nitro-glyciren, have to travel the rough roads of South America without blowing up. Clouzot might be the only serious contender to Hitchcock's title, Master of Suspense. With his amazing les Diabolques (which Hitch tried to purchase the rights to) and this film, you can see the same marks of genius. Like Hitch, Clouzot lets his story build to suspense. It starts slowly, unemployed foreigners in a small South American town. After yet another accident at the oil drilling site, an American foreman hires four of these unemployed men to drive explosives from one destination to another. Once the two trucks are underway, the tension really begins.

Ever just have one of those days? I was watching Renoir's *Rules of the Game*, which I haven't seen in years. And I'm loving it. Christine had declared her love for Andre and was on the balcony with Octave. Andre and Christine's husband were discussing the situation after their fistfight. And then the tape goes blue. It seems that when I taped the film from my friend's laserdisc, I forgot to include the last side. Arghhhhhh.
Apart from the serious let down, what I saw was one of the more enjoyable film experiences of the past few months. Much better than the Goonies collector edition DVD marthon that ran at my house last week. I am someone who geniunely enjoys commentary tracks, but the track on Goonies - with Dick Donner and most of the child-actors - is horrible. Stories that sound intersting but are cut off, questions about plot (come on people, learn the plot!!!) and Corey Feldman incessant yelling- can't that guy speak with an indoor voice. I can only assume that years of heroin abuse has effected his hearing as it once effected his sense of fashion (anyone else remember the Michael Jackson clone Feldman was in the 80s?).

A Monday Mission four days late...

1. Where were you and what was happening in your life the moment when you first became aware of what was happening at the World Trade Center in New York City last September 11th? What was the first thing you did when you heard the news?

Well, I was in class when it happened. I saw that the University had set up TVs around campus, but didn't stop to watch. It wasn't until I got home around noon that I realized what happened.

2. When those truly responsible for the attack are apprehended, what do you think would be the most fitting form of justice?

Hard question because how can we truly know who was responsible. The hijackers are dead, obviously, but what about any and all supporters? Is it even conceivable to imagine getting EVERYONE? If caught however, trial in an international court is the only possible way.

3. This will probably be much like when our parents respond to "Where were you when JFK was shot?"- an event never forgotten by those who were there. But how do you think the history books should present the 9-11 attacks? Should it be included for all future generations? How can we truly convey the shock, the outrage, the emotions and pain of that day to the children of our children?

Yes, it's history so it should be included, but I didn't think we can convey the full extent of the trauma. Younger people can't fathom what the death of JFK meant, just as people born after 9 11 won't be able to.

4. No one in that building, in the Pentagon, or on the planes (other than the terrorists) knew that 9-11 would be their last day to be alive. For me, it brought home the reality that I could be gone at anytime, without any warning. Now, I really want each day to have some value. Did the events of 9-11 bring about a change in the way you live your life?

I could say something like "it made me more appreciative of life" but that's not really true. It did for a little while but soon the routine returned as it always does. I don't think it changed my life all that much.

5. Several who loved to fly in planes will not step foot in one anymore. Many parents are more protective of their children. A year later, do you find yourself feeling more secure than back then? Or is it just a matter of time before something else happens?

I guess I never really thought we were that secure to begin with.

6. The best way for me to honor the those impacted by the attack will be to refrain from any media that day. No papers, no radio and especially no television. Others will light candles, and others will attend special services. What, if anything, will you do to personally reflect on the tragedy?

I don't know...

7. One of the visuals that touched me the most were the walls and walls full of hand made "Missing" posters. What image will you always have in your mind when you recall the events of 9-11?

The stories my mother told me about working at Ground Zero and the tireless efforts of the workers.

BONUS: Who's gonna come around when you break?

Who's gonna drive you home?

Comment question of the week: What's your favorite hand gesture?

I'm a big fan of the pisan chin-wav-off, but I think the bird will always have a special place in my heart

Nothing about film today, just more survey stuff...

1. What is your biggest pet peeve?

First year students who won't get out of the way...

2. What irritating habits do you have?

Cracking my knuckles.

3. Have you tried to change the irritating habits or just let them be?

Tried to convince myself and others that cracking knouckles is an art form.

4. What grosses you out more than anything else? Why?

Snot... other people's. Do you really need to be told why?

5. What one thing can you never see yourself doing that other people do?

giving a crap about American Idol or Survivor. I'm sorry. I have a life to live here.

Okay, I started this thing to write about film, but all I seem to do is answer surveys that no one cares about the answers to. So I suppose I should get around to the whole movie thing. I watched the Lady Eve last night (after my wife and her brother finished the Goonies - I was never a big fan of the Goonies). It still astounds me how Preston Sturges is able to come up with the most insane, hilarious introductions for his characters. In my opinion there is nothing funnier than Eugene Pallette coming down the stairs singing "For Tonight We'll Merry, Merry Be" in that wonderful foghorn voice of his.
Sturges also manages to make a lot out of a relatively simple plot. There's not much to the Lady Eve - boy meets girl, boy leaves girl, girl tricks boy, girl gets boy. The genius of the film lies in the dialogue, the supporting players (always toprate in a Sturges flm) and the performance Sturges is able to get from Henry Fonda.

Monday Mission from www.promoguy.net
1. What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you on a date?
Nothing more than the usual humilating events that make up my life.

2. Do you eat your veggies?
Depends on the veggie.

3. Most people are comfortable going to the bathroom in front of at least one person. Has anyone ever used the restroom in front of you that you wish wouldn't have? What happened and how bad was it?

Goodness, no. That's awful.

4. Have you ever had a bad online transaction? You know, the item wasn't what you thought it would be, you got totally ripped-off, no refunds, it just plain sucked? What's the story there?

No.

5. Ever have a current love find any old love letters (or similar item) you kept that probably should have been thrown away? How did that turn out?

I don't think so. She's probably read stuff written to me in yearbooks. If she thinks of it at all she likely finds it amusing.

6. A secretary at work was telling me about a trip she took to Mardi Gras. She showed off her beaded necklaces and proudly said she "earned' each and every one of them (for those not familiar with this tradition, ladies walking up Burbon St. in New Orleans will flash people who are upon the balconies, in return the guys will throw them worthless plastic necklaces). I was shocked, I had no idea this quiet gal had a wild side. Was there ever a time when you did something totally outrageous because you knew no one would know who you were, or maybe didn't care even if they did?

I performed at my high school Christmas show with three friends wearing trench coats, shoes and nothing else! And yes, there is a video.

7. Hey, what happened to you last night? I waited forever!

Sorry, I feel asleep.

In my quest to be the most uninteresting blogger in the universe, I have opted to fill out another questionare raher than post anything original. Thank you! Thank you!

1. What do you do to make things better when you feel sad and/or lonely?

Hmmm music that's depressing. Sounds weird, but it always makes me feel better.


2. Are you a "touchy-feely" person? That is, do you like to touch people you don't know that well? And on the flipside of that, do you like being touched by someone you aren't close with?


Not with people I don't know, but if I know you: watch out (not really). There are certain people I'm totally comfortable touching and being touched by. There's nothing better than a hug... but there's nothing worse than a hug from a stranger (gross).


3. Do you like to have "me" time, time to yourself to be alone and relax? Or do you prefer to just do your own thing with someone else in the room? When was the last "me" time you got and what did you do?


I love me time. I'm enjoying me time right now. Ususally I like to watch movies during me time, cause no one I live with seem to want to watch the movies I like.


4. Generally speaking, how do you feel about the concept of marriage? Are you the marrying type? Do you think the act of getting married means something today or is it simply just "a piece of paper?"

I'll be honest, this is one I've been thinking about a lot. I don't think marriage is for everyone. It's sort of what you make out of it. Is that vague enough?



5. That said, as many as 25 states have passed legislation regulating who they believe should be the "marrying type." What are your thoughts on the banning of same-sex marriages?


I hardly see how two consenting adults who love each other enough to make a commit can be more of an issue than the homeless, crime and the environment.

6. If there was one law you had the ability to create or change, what would it be?

Mandartory age at which people must give up their driving licenses. I'm tired of almost being run over by old people!!!



7. What would you like someone visiting your Blog for the first time to know about you? Now is your chance!

I'm Mike and this is what sounds like when doves cry.

Okay.The day's almost over and I'm ready to roll on out of here. The University is a stange place to be when there aren't any students around. Mostly, I enjoy the quiet, lack of distraction and short coffee lines. But this week, as the school gears up for Fall semester, there's the feeling of impending tension in the air - students should be here. Of course, once they do arrive, and I have to wait three hours for a small black coffee, I don't know if I'll feel the same way about this.

Stole this off my friend, Chris's, blog.

1. What was the last book you read? Did you enjoy it? Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, by Hunter S. Thompson. I;m not sure "enjoy" is the right word.


2. What's your favorite book of all time? Tom Jones by Henry Fielding.


3. What's the worst book you've ever read? something having to do with the Chelsae Hotel. Can't recall the title but it was by the late Dee Dee Ramone. I won't speak ill of the dead.


4. What book that you've read would you most like to see adapted into a movie? Most books that would make good movies, already are (though not often good). The genres are too different to expect a book to make a good film.


5. How do you plan to spend your weekend? Chillin' wut ma homies (just kidding, I would never "chill").

Alternate Monday Mission, courtesy of Chris Beckett...


1. What's the first movie you remember seeing and thinking, "hey, I could get into these things?" Ghostbusters 2... No, seriously it would have to have been Casablanca whihc I saw on television as a child. It was so smart and intriquing that I was mesmerized. When I tried to get some friends to watch it, they were like "But there's no spaceships". I thought they were the dumbest people on the planet.

2. What's your biggest guilty pleasure movie? I have an unnatural obessession with teen flicks. I'm almost always disappointed with them, but I have to see them.

3. C'mon, isn't there something cool about Canada? Anything? Hmmmmm... Our leader isn't as stupid as George W. Bush

4. What's the stupidest thing you've heard all day? "Is that all today?"

5. If you were a collector of such things, what one prop from any movie would you most want to own? the Maltese Falcon or one of the munchkins

1. What time is it now? 2:35pm Wed
2. Name that appears on your birth certificate. Michael William Boyce
3. Nicknames. None
4. Parents names: Bill and Roberta
5. Number of candles that will appear on your next Birthday cake: too many
6. Date that you will blow them out: May 23
7. Pets: nope
8. Eye color: hazel
9. Hair color: brown
10. Piercing: None
11. Tattoos: None
12. How much do you love your job: depends
13. Favorite color: blue
14. Hometown: Toronto
15. Current residence: Winnipeg
16. Favorite food: spagetti
17. Been to Africa: Nope
18. Been toilet papering: Yes
19. Have you ever loved somebody so much that it made you cry: Of course
20. Been in a car accident: Yep NOT MY FAULT
21. Croutons or bacon bits: Bacon bits. Croutons are dry bread, yuck
22. Sprite or 7-up: either
23. Favorite movie: Casablanca
24. Favorite Holiday: Arbour Day - its so neglected
25. Favorite day of the week: tomorrow
26. Favorite word or phrase: sweet
27. Favorite toothpaste: Colgate
28. Favorite Restaurants: Olive Garden.
29. Favorite Flowers: What?
30. Favorite cola: Diet Pepsi
31. Favorite sport to watch: None
32. Preferred type of ice cream: Mint Choc. Chip
33. Favorite Sesame Street Character: Ernie
(don't know where question 34 is either)
35. Favorite fast food restaurant: McD
36. When was your last hospital visit? When I visited Kim
37. What color is your bedroom carpet: No carpet
38. How many times did you fail your driver's test: 0.
39. Who is the last person you got e-mail from before this: Chrisp
40. Have you ever been convicted of a crime: Convicted? No
41. What single store would you choose to Max out your credit card in: HMV
42. What do you do most often when you are bored: watch Much or a movie, read
43. Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest away:Wendy... London England
44. Most annoying thing people ask me: Are you sure?
45. Bedtime: 1 am
46. Who will respond to this the quickest: -
47. Who is the person you sent this to who is least likely to respond? ---
48. Favorite all time TV shows: Simpsons, Night Court, Mr. Show
49. Last person you went out to dinner with: I guess I better say my wife
50. Last movie you saw: Another Thin Man. Great stuff

I was waching _My Man Godfrey_ last night - the good version, not the one with David Niven. I was thinking about this: why aren't there more amazing, interesting character actors like Eugene Pallette? If you've seen the film, he's the rather large father of Carole Lombarde, with a deep raspy voice. The man's hilarious, but there's no way, in today's films, such a unique looking man would have a job.

Okay, it's Friday and I still don't have a handle on what it is I should be writing here in this Blog. I suppose I should be like everyone else and write quasi-slanderous diatribes about things I only half understand at best. After all, isn't that wat the internet's all about? Freedom to criticize whomever, whether you're qualified or not?

Okay, day two of blogging. Still not sure what this is going to end up being. Should I write about movies? Books? Music? Personal stuff? Hmmm.
Well, I suppose I can start writing about books, as that's what I was reading on the way down to work this morning. If my stupid batteries hadn't died, I could have written about music, but alas.
I'm about 300 pages in to Charles Dickens' _Great Expectations_. If you've seen the film with Ethan Hawke and Gwenyth Paltrow, you have an idea (a very thin idea) of the plot. The truth is, Dickens is an incredible writer. Such detail and thought goes into each chapter. To call any film version (and, yes, the includes Lean's masterpiece) and "watered down" version, is an understatement.

Welcome to the Not Very Exciting World of Mike. I'm new to all this, so bare with me.