Most highly favoured lady

One of the reasons that I like Christmas is that I can use a few Latin phrases and not look like a complete and utter loser. Gloria in excelsis At least those three years of Latin weren't wasted

And what was in those ships of three?

Likely this'll be the final post of 2005. Man, 2005! When I was a kid I imagined 2005 as this Star-Trekkie future world of flying cars and tin-foil pants. Who knew? So I wanna wish anyone reading this a Happy and Merry Christmas and as-best-as-it-can-be New Year!

I woke up the other morning and it was -29 degrees here in Winnipeg. I kid you not. I went outside to start the car and my face burned. When I put the key in the ignition, my car said to me, "You're kidding, right?" But Petey's a good car, and he started after a little grumbling.

As certain as egg nog and mistletoe (okay, since no one actually has mistletoe anymore make that holly), contemplation has become one of the things unpacked and put up every Christmas, I've been thinking a lot about friends old and new and loved ones. These past few weeks I've reconnected with some dear friends, one from long, long ago and a galaxy far, far away (Oshawa), two from the past few years. We don't tell people what they mean to us as often as we should. Though I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions, I'd like to think that this will be mine: I'll try to tell people who matter how much they mean. Of course, this will likely either fail miserably in the first week of 2006, or cause a whole lotta (more) people to avoid me like the plague.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

All right, it's not. But it's not too bad. It certainly could be much worse.

It's a virtual winter wonderland here in Winnipeg. It's been snowing for about 3 days straight. Luckily it's not too cold, so you can actually go outside and enjoy it a bit. I was waiting for a bus on Portage and was a middle aged man in a calf-length FUR COAT and MATCHING FUR HAT. It was glorious.

Last night we were invited to a carolling party a few blocks from our house. It was fun, but so many of the songs they sang were in German. Childishly, I giggled whenever we sang German words that look like some word in English (like "Nun"; my favourite was "Freud"... my mind came up with all kinds of delightfully inappropiate senarios for that carol).

There are stacks of essays and exams piled up around me, waiting to be marked. I hate marking. I love (or usually love) teaching, but marking is so tedious. Still, classes are over, exams finished. Now, if people could just figure out the difference between "desire" and "deserve".

So this is Christmas?

Being the culturally sensitive Renaissance man that I am, I've always been curious about the ways other countries spin the story of Christmas. I'm not talking about Jesus in the lowly cattleshed or anything, but the extras, the frills we've mixed into the story. I think we've become a tad complacent in our understanding of the holiday; our Santa, we assume, is everyone's Santa. Not so.

While the tradition of presents giving seems to be common to most Christian cultures' tradition, who gives the presents to the children varies. Faeries, saints, Christmas witches, even the Christ-child himself (though I imagine his arms would be somewhat restricted by the swaddling clothes) are all thought to bring treats and presents to deserving children. But of all the present-bestowing folk associated with Christmas, my favourite has to be Black Peter from the Netherlands.

In fairness, Black Peter is depicted as the associate (to be read: slave) of St Nicholas, the common Christmas saint who serves as the model of our Santa Claus. See, during the Middle Ages, the Dutch called the Devil "Black Peter." Somehow, as Dutch Christmas traditions were sorting themselves out, it was believed that St. Nick enslaved "Black Peter" and made him hand out presents to the good little Dutch children on the night before St. Nicholas Day (December 6). And if the children weren't all that good? Well, no lump o' coal in Holland. The children were said to be kidnapped by Black Peter. As the legend evolved, the representation of Black Peter took on political overtones. He became dark-skinned and dressed in the costume of Moorish Spain, for whom the Dutch had a particular hatred for having been controlled by Spain for a time. And where does Black Peter take the naughty children? Spain.

A friend of mine, Chuck, was telling me about growing up in Holland. He remembers being in school and having St Nicholas and Black Peter turn up to give presents to the students at an assembly. One little boy in particular was, according to Chuck, a notorious troublemaker, a real jerk. When Nick and Pete came to that kid, let's call him Johnny, St Nicholas looked down at and said in a booming voice, "And you, Johnny have been very naughty." With that Black Peter picked Johnny up and stuffed him in the sack that had held the presents. Apparently Johnny was always much better behaved after that.

I know that you can love me, when there's no one left to blame

So, I just got back from seeing an afternoon screening of Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. This film is, for me, a more important film then the much loved Lord of the Rings trilogy, because, well, to be honest, I've actually read The Chronicles of Narnia when I was young. And while I have come to read and love Tolkien's books in my adulthood, there's something akin to a deeper, truer love for C.S. Lewis's stories because I loved them in childhood. Yes, there was a cartoon and that BBC thing in the 1980s, but they were both, to be frank, crap. Men in beaver suits does not Narnia make!

And I was not disappointed.

I thought this films was brilliant. The writers/diretor fleshed out the right things by contextualizing the story within the evacuation of London during World War 2. The animals and creatures, always been a problem with adapting LW&W, looked spectular. And the White Witch was strangely erotic.

It was Christmas Eve, babe, in the drunktank

All right, I am sore today: So yesterday morning, I was taking our recycling out to the curb (like the hip, environmentally conscious guy I am). When I got outside, I realized that the truck had already been by. Nothing else to do but return the blue box to the basement and hope I don't miss it next week, right? Well, I open the door, take one step on the stairs descending to the basement and... ffffoomp. My feet, still wet with snow, slip right out from beneath me and I go crashing down the stairs. Apparently I was graceful (and quiet) enough both not to wake my neighbours, whose bedroom door in about 4 feet from where I went down or drop the recycling box. My lower back swollen and an attractive magenta, but I held on to that box, dammit.

Last days of both my half semester courses yesterday and today. The less said the better.

Going to go see The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe this weekend, and I'm quite excited by that. There are few films on the horizon that have peaked my interest. One that I was looking forward to, but am now excepting to be totally and utterly disappointed, is X-men 3. Saw a photo of BEast/Hank McCoy, one of my favourite characters from the comic... and he looks like a gay werewolf. Check it out for yourselves. FABuLOUS Beast

It's coming on to Christmas and that means Christmas music is playing. So here's a question: What Christmas songs (including version by different artists) do you absolutely love? I'll get the ball rollin, 'cause, well, it's my blog and everything; Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without The Pogues' "The Fairytale of New York", the greatest Christmas song of the 20th century. What other Christmas song has a line like "You're bum! You're a punk! You're an old slut on junk?" I get a little misty just thinking about it.

Do you hear what i hear?

All right, it's FREEZING in Winnipeg today. We're talking North Polar, chill to the bone cold. I hate this time of year. People balk when they hear about how truly cold it can get in Manitoba, but in all honesty these Artic tempertures are bearable but they do take some getting used to. It's the first couple of weeks that are the hardest, as your body readjusts to the need for hats, scarves, multi-layers, and thermal underwear. I opted not to wear thermal underwear this morning, and got to experience the completely unpleasant burning that comes from wearing jeans in minus 30 degree weather.
There's something disconcerting about standing at a bus stop with a dozen or so other people, people who you're not sure if you know because everyone has only as much skin exposed as is feasible. In fact you're often not even sure of the gender, as everyone has a non-descript puffy shape.

I want to be good, is that not enough?

My friend Matt emailed with some disturbing news: the run time on the new Woody Allen film is over 2 hours. Shocking? Maybe not as much as anthrax or the rising number of teenagers with syphilis, but as a former Allen fan, I think it ranks right up there because it adds credibility to my theory that Woody Allen has lost his mind. Let's look at evidence:

1) He's no longer shooting in New York. Apparently it's just getting to be too much of a hassle to shoot in New York. Allen's currently amoured with London, after shooting his lastest film there. Now he wants to set all his films there. But can you think about Woody and NOT think New York? The guy's a New York institution, like the Mets or the Yankees or the Dodgers... okay, forget that last one. Allen's screen-persona needs New York and is unable to function in any other city. Long shots of Allen and his 20-something love interests walking around Kensington Park or strolling along the Thames just ain't right.

2) Medicore Television actresses. Starting around Deconstructing Harry, Allen has had a BIZARRE fascination with tv actresses. Apparently he cast Elizabeth Berkley (of Showgirls infamy) after catching a "Saved by the Bell" rerun while he was working up. Perhaps he was using a rowing mahcine and couldn't change the channel. I suppose we should all thank God he didn't see the one with Screech in drag.

3) Drawer films. The last few Allen films to hit theatres (well, select theatres, anyway) have been what he refers to as "Drawer" pictures - scripts or treatments he wrote decades ago and having beed sitting in his bottom drawer, gathering dust. I know his "one picture" a year thing is absolutely incredible in this day and age, but maybe it's time to slow down. If you're making crap you yourself hide, maybe it's time to take a break. What's next? Adapting an old grade school play or a story he wrote in high school?

4) Two hour running time. Allen should be contractly obligated to turn in a 82-85 minute film. Since Annie Hall, Allen's best films have been in the 80 minute range. His humour will NOT work with a Titantic-like run-time.

Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer

Well, the weekend's finally over. Thank God for small miracles. Those of you "in the know" are aware that my wife's resignation was finally made public this past Sunday. It's been a whirlwind of mixed emotions: stress, relief, sadness. They've all been there and present at one point or another. Of course, I might feel differently, less relieved, if I hadn't spent most of Sunday hiding away from people, away from the questions and the whys and the whatnots.

Of course, the real kicker is that after a stressful weekend, I go to work today and it's utterly INSANE at the U of M Press. Apparently everyone in Manitoba, from places I've never even heard before, was trying to order books from us to beat, and I'm quoting here, "the Christmas rush." I was forced to criss-cross the campus a bunch of times (freezing, 'cause I'm too cool to wear a coat, let alone a hat or mittens), carrying huge boxes of books. Everytime I'd return to the office (with another 40 lbs box under my arm) I'd be handed one more order that "needed" to be filled. Like anyone, on Christmas morning, is going to thank Santa and their lucky stars that they got A National Crime: The Canadian government and the residential school system, 1879 to 1986 under the tree! If someone gave me that as a Christmas present, I'd kick them in their knee caps.

So, what else is going on?Well, I got a chance to watch the new Pride and Prejudice with the angelic Kiera Knightley. A solid adaptation, and I highly recommend it to fans of Austen.

"Smallville"... "Dawson's Creek" if Dawson could run really fast and had super strength. In other words: high addictive; like crack or pumpkin pie.

Here comes the twister

I know: I haven't written in a while, but... I'm still not convinced people read this.

Anyway, we had a big snowstorm, which shut the one school I was supposed to be teaching at down completely. Of course, I managed to make it in for my 8:30 am class. As I trudged up the steps, my eyes fell on a 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of white paper. "All classes cancelled due to weather." After waiting an hour for a bus, after stomping through half a foot of unshovelled snow, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Driving out to Otterburne, Manitoba the day after the storm wasn't much fun. I could only go 60 km on the highway (poorly plowed as they were), and when I got there I discovered that the parking lot I've been assigned to use wasn't plowed at all. Grrrrrr. So I'm to drive 2 hours on dangerous roads only to get stuck AT SCHOOL? No way, Jose. Without asking (or even telling) I reassigned my parking space.

Sometimes I wonder why we moved to this crazy province.

Take a look at the crow's feet sitting on the prettiest eyes

Went to a birthday party the other night... for a 2 year old. It's a strange thing to be at a party for a two year old: there's a bunch of kids, running around, getting sticky and causing each other no end of trouble; but there's also a whole group of adults, sitting around eating Dora the Explorer cake and not talking to each other. Who is this Dora, and why don't her parents watch her a little more carefully?

But how can you possibly get to know other adults, even parents, when there's a video of the Doodle-pops, or whatever the heck those things are called, playing? You can't.

And you may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"

Sitting here, letting the days go by.

More silliness in class. Frustration. Apparently, the self-motivated, self-driected approach to the class was a mistake. Oh well. Into the blue again.

Long weekend coming up. That's good. Friday's Rememberance Day, which in Winnipeg is an actual holiday. I love days off!


Same as it ever was;
Same as it ever was.

I think you're smart, you sweet thing

Right. It feels like it should be Thursday (my Thursday being most people's Friday - it's a little confusing at first, but you get used to it).

So, I got up this morning a little later then usual and headed off to Booth for my 8:30 class. I gave the class last Thursday as a work class (ie, don't come to class) on the condition that they have a rough draft of an essay ready for today's class. And how many shiny little essays were on my desk this morning? Seven. From a class of twenty seven. Now, I'm a little rusty at the ol' maths, but that's not good.

Of course this completely screwed up my plans for the class. I was going to have them read and evaluate each other's papers; three papers per person. So people had to work in groups of two, sometimes three. They could only get through 2 papers because the paper had to be passed between two people. And to think, I was worried that, due to the way I designed the course, I was going to have too many "A"s; that's not much a concern any more.

And it's hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain

Had an instructive and stimulating conversation with my advisor. George is unquestionably one of the most intelligent and well-read individuals I know. Just sitting and talking with him makes me want to read more. If my thesis is worth anything when it's all said and done, it will be due in large part to his insightful comments and questions.

The time's rapidly coming up for Rachel's staff Christmas party, which I really do look forward to each year. Last year we tried something new with great success, a murder mystery dinnner; we're all given parts to play and come dressed up. This year I get to be a lounge singer, which is, I think, a step up from the Nazi character I played last year. At least this year, if we use a photo from this as our Christmas card, we won't have to ask the nice guy at Blacks if he can "crop out the swastika."

Proposal Time

I've been working on this silly PhD proposal for the past few hours and I'm quite sure that my brain has exploded and will be, at any second, running out of my ear. So, best to set it aside for a little bit and take a nice relaxing blog-break.

I've found myself rather enamored with the writing of this Neil Gaiman guy of a few posts ago. Someone I know told me to check out Neverwhere; I did. Then I checked out (literally, from the Library) American Gods, Stardust and a couple of slightly disturbing (in a really cool way) Sandman collections. Again, if you like smart fantasy and you DON'T know Gaiman's stuff: pull yourself from under that rock and start reading!

Oh, I decided to show Alfred Hitchcock's The Lady Vanishes in my 20th Century British Literature class. Now the film is a favourite of mine and, after last year's Casablanca debacle, I was a little hesitant about showing a personal favourite that I would have to defend against a group of jaded and superficial Ashton Kutchon fans. For some reason I chanced it and was blown away by the response. They laughed (in the right places), gasped and jumped; they even cheered at the end of the film. It was almost enough to restore my faith.


I am plagued by the fact that Leonard Cohen is starting to look like my late grandmother. I expect him to knit me some mittens.

Happy Hallowe'en, Kiddies

Tis the time for ghosts and goblins to roam the earth and accost people for candy. Here at the university the only people who seem to be in the Hallowe'en spirit are a couple of people who work Administration, unless slovenly lacker guy and slutty girls are real honest-to-goodness costumes. To be honest, there's just something creepy about a handful of 45 plus-ers dressing up as princesses and witches.

This weekend Rachel and I went to see "The Apple Seed girl" at Femfest. It's a great play by my brother-in-law's girlfriend, Kerri. Saturday was the last night, but there was some talk of workshopping it... so if it ever plays near you, see it. While I think I'd need to see it again to catch some of the more symbolic elements, I loved the awkward, flirty conversation of themain character and her neighbour. Kerri seems to write shy, uncomfortable boy-girl dialogue as well as anyone else. Oh, and the main character grows a tree. And horticulture? Always good.

old videos

I'll admit it: I'm becoming addicting to MuchMoreRetro. There's something nostaglic about watching music videos form the 80s; it harkens back to a simpler, more innocent time. While today's videos have budgets comparible to the GNP of many developed countries, more celebrities than a P Diddy birthday, and narratives that have nothing to do with the lyrics, music videos from yesteryear were reassuring forumalic. When you watch one of these videos you can take comfort. You know that the terrorists won't win, that there still is goodness out there, that all will be right with the world.

I have been, as a side project of watching these videos, compiling a list of essential motiffs, themes and images in these videos. and I would like to share them with you.

Things 80's Videos MUST* have:

1) Hair! Lots of hair. Whether you're waking me up before you go go, or blaming it on the rain, you're going to need lots of style, hair-sprayed hair.

2) Shots, often black and white, of people on the telephone. Alexander Graham Bell's invention certainly changed the way we communicate with each other, but it also changed music videos! What better way to visually represent isolation and heartache than a girl on the phone?

3) Shots of the band performing. No matter what else is going on the video, we need lots of shots of the band playing their instruments and singing their song. Sometimes, there might even be elaborate dance sequences. Cross your fingers.

4) Cars. Like the telephone, another important invention is heavily featured in early music videos: the horseless carriage. What better way to express alienation, angst and mobility then with shots of the Go-Gos driving around Los Angeles? There are many videos that use the lead-singer-driving-and-singing plot... derived from the Greeks, I believe.

5) Neon. Nuff said.

*this list is by no means comprehensive. The author fully realizes that there might be many other things needed to make an 80s video.

Neverwhere? Right here

Right. So a friend of mine suggested that I check out this book Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman (which I did, literally, from the library up the street). "You'll love it," she said. So, I dutifully went and got it. I'm a sucker... well, for books anyway.

I started reading it on the walk home. On the inside cover (at this is true of the hardcover) there's a deailed map of the London Underground. "Cool," I think. "I recognize some of these stations."

I had to go out for a little bit, so I couldn't continue reading until later that afternoon. And when I was able to sit down and continue reading I found myself liking it more and more. It's an interesting story: guy moves to London, he finds an injured girl, there are some weird dudes who talk kind of funny. And as I'm reading, I'm thinking to myself, "Hey, this is pretty good." And as I'm thinking this, I look up and realize it's almost midnight! I've been reading for hours and have completely lost track of time. Now I like books, and would consider myself an "avid" reader, but I've never been a lose-track-of-time reader. The story is so interesting, the characters so well drawn, that it's hard not to be absorbed with the narrative.

So, when I woke up this morning all I wanted to do was come down stairs, pour myself a cup of coffee and finish the book. I had it less than 24 hours and it was done. There are very few books that have sucked me in so completely.

I highly recommend this book.

One of those days...

Ever just google your name to check what other people with the same moniker as you have are doing with their lives? What a great way to feel utterly pointless.

There's a Master Michael Boyce who teaches about a thousand different martial arts... I'll bet he's cool. There's just something very cool about a guy who can dislocate your shoulder in the blink of an eye.

There's Admiral Sir Michael Boyce, part of her Majesty's Navy. Guy's in charge of a bunch of boats: how cool is that? Bet he's got all kinds of those shiny little medals. And don't even get me started on the "Sir" thing. What's a guy gotta do to get knighted anyway?

And then there's me. Yes, I do pop up on google, but without all the knighted, ass-kicking coolness. I show up a few times on RatemyProfessor. Apparently someone thinks I'm "hot." Must be the corduory pants I sometimes wear when I teach.

Actually that reminds me: I got some student evaluations from a course I taught last year. Most of them were positive (though there was the constantly frustrating too-much-group-work/not-enough-group-work comments). I am, it seems, amusing. The predominant response was "Mr. Boyce/Michael is very funny." One of the comments in particular threw me for a bit of loop though: "Can we have one class were we don't talk about sex?" Either this student only came to a couple of the racier classes, or I talk about sex a lot more then I'm aware. Of course, I can alwasy shift the blame to the poems. "I don't talk about sex; John Donne talks about sex. Dirty man. I just talk about Donne." This is, of course, a modifed version of the argument I used to use on my mother whenever we were watching a movie that had a lot of swearing or sex: "Hey, I didn't write the movie."

Of course after reading that comment and feeling all self-concious, what do I do? Go into the classroom and start talking about sex.

Cracking!

So, last night Rachel and I decided to set forth into the world and head over to one of the local movie theatres to see Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit. Now, I've been a fan of the plasticine duo for quite some time now, so expectations were high. And a theatre packed of screaming, crying chidlren put a serious cramp into those expectations. However, once the lights dimmed, and all the thirty thousand previews were over, and the film begin, all was well. The plot was a little fanciful, but the wit, humour and imagination of Nick Park was still apparent. There's something almost magical about watching a film where the audience is so caught up in the story that they cheer and applaud when the film ends.

In other news, we got new MTS cable. As part of the package, we got 9 "bundles" of extra channels. There's something profoundly civilized about being able to watch "The A Team" 4 times a day.

Grrrr....

When did I turn into Ben Stein from Ferris Buller's Day Off?

"Anyone? Anyone? Anyone?"

Man, some days class is like pulling teeth!

I forgot my travel mug this morning and, with it, the sweet, sweet caffine-y goodness held within. I've been cruising around looking all day for things with some form of caffine to ingest: a cup of cheap-ass coffee, a watery fountain Diet Pepsi. I'm supposed to see a play with my wife tonight. If I don't get some stimulant in me soon, when the lights in the theatre go out, so will I.

I have to meet Rachel in an hour and a half... What am I going to do for that much time? This computer is seriously solitare-free.

Thanksgiving was fine. Guess I really turned on the world with that last post. The literary THOUSANDS of emails I received... oh, wait, those were for cheap medication and herbal Viagara. Nevermind.

Maybe it's the 12 cups of coffee...

I'm having a Linus moment; you know, one of those "what's the real spirit o' the holidays" things. You see, it's Thanksgiving up here in the Great White North (and in this part of the North it actually is white today). Now we don't have the cultural (and emotional) baggage that the Americans have about this holiday: no Purtians with those amusing belt buckles, no maize, no Indians we later screwed out of everything. Oh we screwed the Indians, all right; we just tended to be a little more subtle about it, is all. Were I an American, I would have real problems with Thanksgiving.

But I'm a Canadian and I rather like the holiday. And what's not to like? Turkey: good! Stuffing: good! Pumpkin pie: GOOD!!!! Food aside though, what's Thanksgiving all about?

"Giving thanks, Mike. You moron. It's right there in the name of the holiday," you're probably thinking to yourself.

And yes, you're right. It is. But do we do it?

So, who are you thankful for? Do they know it? I tend not to assign homework here, but I challange you to let the people who matter most to you know that you're thnakful for them.

Maybe we could start a thing, with signs and T-shirts.... All right, on second thought that sounds like too much trouble. Let's stick to the telling thing. We'll accessorize later, if we need to.

"I need a fix, 'cause I'm going down"

So, my Serenity high didn't last too long. Don't get me wrong, it was good while it lasted, but real life came and kicked me in the gut once again. Monday was the usual humdrum, no-fun at the UM Press. Tuesday was school. Still can't get a handle on my students, even ones I've had before. This one girl I'm pretty sure HATES me came up after class and asked me to edit her paper. I suppose that doesn't prelude hate. But the fire alarm went off during class so that was nice: huddled around the front door, hoping there really was a fire 'cause maybe then we could warm up.

It snowed all day here in Winnipeg. Driving was a pain, slippery roads will be the death of me. Where did the summer go?

Just got back from seeing Serenity. What a movie! Admittedly I was a little nervous when I encountered fans dressed up. But there was a comradorary at the theatre that you hardly ever see these days. People started singing the Firefly theme song during the commerials; we laughed, we cringed, we gasped. And in the end, applauded. It just seemed like the thing to do.


Kaylee, you made it!!!!

I think that there's enough context (and backstory) given so that if you didn't see any episodes of Firefly you'd still be able to figure out what was going on: River's a psychic and a fugitive, Mal's grumpy, Reavers are crazy cannibals dudes.

Serenity!

(singing off key) Seren, seren, seren, seren, serrrRREEENNNNITTTTTYYYYYY!

At 7:05 this evening, I'll have a huge smile on my face.

I think that was almost a job offer...

So, I met with the president of one of the colleges where I teach - very nice man, well manicured hands. He wanted to meet (with) me to, firstly, get to know me, and secondly, to tell me about the plans for the future of the college. In a nut shell, the direction of the college, expanding into Liberal Arts, appears to point to more teaching for Mike!

In other things: Veronica Mars, my dear, what adventures did you get up to last night? Why don't I get UPN?

Whole body aches....

Went away for the weekend with a bunch of friends. Played football, wall climbed and pushed my poor body past any reasonable limit. I'm sore in so many places. The wall climb was the biggest disappoint for me: last year (at a different place) I ruled the wall. This year I tried a medium hard wall; when I was about 1/3, maybe 1/2 way up, I couldn't find any grips that would let me continue climbing. So I hung there, mostly by my arms, trying to figure out what to do. I decided to descend and try another, easier wall. I couldn't even start climbing. None of the grips seemed right; my arms were killing me from hanging on the previous wall. It was pathetic.

Right...

So, I'm bored.

I've done the dishes, packed for the weekend, and now I'm putzing around on here. In a brazen attempt to entertain myself (while my wife watches ER) I decided to try to update this little blog with some fancy new template. I figure if you can't give 'em substance, at least try to wow them with aesthetics.

Why would you shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die? Surely there are better ways to spend an afternoon.

So, school's back in to full swing and I'm... well, flummoxed. Am I getting through to my students? Am I making sense? Is my fly down? I don't expect people to be as naturally excited by Old English Poetry or Joseph Conrad as I am, but sometimes I think that short of setting off firecrackers and throwing a parade, I'll never get their attention. The solution? Tell embarrassing personal stories, obviously. Today I related how I wrote a letter to a high school friend that said "Did I ever tell you I love you?" I meant it sarcastically. Apparently I was so naive that I actually thought that the intended sarcasm would be apparent in writing. It wasn't, and for the rest of high school this girl thought I was in love with her. Nothing major ever came out of it, other than a few awkward moments; never did have the heart to tell her. Can't remember how that fit into a conversation about Heart of Darkness. Probably didn't. I likely just wanted to tell humiliating stories about myself. Wait 'til my other class starts love poetry, and the pessimism really flies...

All weekend I intended to post something here, but, to be frank, I was just too tired. With the stress of the comprehensive exam over nearly everytime I sat down to read or watch television I fell alseep. Hard to post stuff when you're sleeping. And, if I'm honest with myself, I don't really have much to post here anyway.

I'm going away this weekend, which I'm really looking forward to. It's a retreat with a bunch of people I really love and care about (and haven't been able to spend much time with lately).

I'm marginally interested in the fall television season. New episodes of House are always welcome. There's promise in the Fox show, Bones (though seeing David Boreanaz in the daylight will take some getting used to). Of course the only show I'm really excited about is one I don't know when it'll air here in Canada: Veronica Mars. The more I think about it, the more I love that show. Can't imagine where the show's going (the major plot that ran through the first season was resolved), but I'm ready for whatever they throw at me/us.

Well, my lunch break's nearly over, so I'll sign off.

WHOO HOOO!!!!

School's starting, the University of Manitoba keeps screwing up my pay, but all I can think about is: I'M FINISHED MY LAST COMPREHENSIVE EXAM!!!! Sweet.

The comp (the reason for the blog silence of the past few weeks - and you all thought it was just that I didn't like you anymore) was a crazy amount of work, but it's over. Now, on to the dissertation. Forward ho!

Big thanks to all those who were thinking about me. You rule.

And to those that didn't: you suck. I hope your eyes fall out. Just kidding.

Went to a wedding yesterday afternoon. It was really nice; lovely, really. Haven't been to many weddings... there was my own (and the first one I'd ever been to, btw), the one in Newfoundland that Rachel performed, and this one. Think that's it. I must confess though that I'm a little surprised that whole "If anyone here has any objections" part has been left out of contemporary ceremonies. Isn't that hlaf the fun of the wedding? The idea that a poor woman in dishevelled clothing, infant child in arms, steps forward to reveal the groom as the father; the high school love rushing the front, waving a giant crucifix to hold off the ushers, groomsmen and priest? If movies have taught us anything, it's that the best part of the wedding, the most memorable part is going to happen when those little words are uttered...

So, I'm not sleeping well. It's the inveitable consequence of sleeping in someone else's bed. When you'r in someone else's bed the mattress is either too firm or too soft; the pillows are either too flat or too fluffy; nothing's the way you like it. Let alone the unpleasant visuals that accompany thinking about what's gone on in the bed before you slept there. And even a thinking about what's gone on in a hotel bed can't compete with what you imagine about people you know. Anyway, I wake up every hour or so, toss and turn for another half hour then fall asleep and start the whole vicious cycle over again.

I have a question for the one, maybe two people here, and I'm really interested in hearing what you think: do you think it's appropiate to tell somone, a friend, that he/she is dating someone you think is TOTALLY beneath him/her? I'm curious.

So I'm housesitting. All alone in a strange place. Just me and the dog. I'm glad there's a dog there. Talking to myself would just be crazy.

Watched Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez's Sin City last night. Can't think of the last time I was awestruck by such a unique visual style. Absolutely beautiful, perfectly cast (except Michael Madsen, who just seemed out of place); the incredible violence will make some people uneasy (or quesy, whatever), but watch a film! And who is Jessica Alba and how did she get so beautiful? Really, it's like flawless, otherworldly beauty. It's hard to trust uber-beautiful people - they're nothing but trouble. Watch out for them. They'll only disappoint you, if you're lucky.

My neighbourhood...

I live in a small section of Winnipeg called "Wolseley," named after Garnet Joseph Wolseley, 1st Viscount, Baron Wolseley of Cairo and of Wolseley. Despite its rather assicipious namesake, Wolseley is regarded throughout the city as the "granola belt" for its Birkenstock sandals, hairylegged women and 3, count 'em 3, Organic food stores. Wolseley prides itself on being friendly, the friendliest place in the already abundantly friendly Manitoba. People greet each other on the street with warm smiles and earnest "Good mornings." "You're never alone in Wolseley," a neighbour told me, "there's always someone to talk to." Coming from Toronto, where making eye contact with someone can be akin to pouring a drink in their lap and questioning their mother's virtue, I find the whole thing just a little forced. I mean, it's a system based on lies that prevent us from actually engaging with other people. At least in Toronto you know the rules - you don't want to talk to them, they don't want to talk to you." Simple, easy, direct. Here, they seem like they might want to talk to you, but are really asking the most superficial of questions that repeal people, keep people at a distance.

"How are you?"
"Lovely morning, isn't it?"
"Are those Birkenstocks?"

People say these things EXPECTING you to answer positively. "Fine, thank you, and yourself?" Most don't even wait for a response before they start walking away. Just once I would love to answer, "Horribly! It's an awful morning. And no, these are the most environmentally antagnositic sandals in existence made out of styra-foam, old polyurothane Big Mac containers and baby seals." I wonder if there'd be even a glimmer of confusion before they grinned their Stepford grin and walked on to the one of the 3 Organic food stores.

So this afternoon I watched the Jean-Pierre Jeunet film, A Very Long Engagement. If I were to pick a single word from that title with which to sum up, surmise, or some other word that starts with "su" the film, it would have to be the third word: Long. It was very long. I'd purpose amending the already quite lengthy title to something that more accurately reflects the experience. Persoanlly I think A VERY Long Film about a Very Long Engagement covers it nicely.

It's a good film -nice story, solid acting, interesting visuals and all that- it's just so terribly LONG. unnecessarily long too. It's like the filmmakers took every pain to drag things out as long as they possible could. For example, Audrey Tautou, who's as cute as a button and you could eat up with a spoon, plays a woman suffering from polio. So any time she has to physically move from point A to point B it's A VERY LONG WALK. Seriously, if Tautou's character was healthy, the film would have run twenty, thirty minutes shorter.

Right, here's another picture; this one's from the trip to Newfoundland. This is me on one of the famous Newfoundland beaches. As you can tell, the Newfoundland beaches are famous for being crap. I could only stay there long enough for the picture to be taken, as there was a handful of sharp, pointy rocks sticking me in the kidneys.

I realize I haven't posted anything is a long while (sorry Jaimie), so I decided to finally get around to posting a picture I've been meaning to out up for a some time. This is Rachel and I and our lovely god-daughter, Delphine Marlowe Beckett. She's incredible; a lot of fun. We're reading a book we got her about a red bull who goes to the market. He's scared, the farmer reassures him: it's a fantastic read - highly recommend it to all.

Spent the long weekend (which I had, to be honest, forgotten about until a friends asked what I was doing for it) studying and watching movies. Went through whatever I have of the Marx Brothers films(from the excellent - Animal Crackers, Horse Feathers, Duck Soup; to the good-At the Circus and Day at the Races; to the forgettable and regrettable- Night in Casablanca); plus, I rented the incredible House of Flying Daggers and the I'm-not-sure-if-I-liked-it-or-not Door in the Floor.

While HFD was a visual treat, I just can't come to terms with my feelings about DitF. For those of you who don't know, DitF is the film version of the first third of John Irving's excellent novel, A Widow for a Year. I will say this, even at 50 Kim Basinger is still hot.

All in all, a mildly productive long weekend.

Listening to: the Magnetic Fields alum, i.

A holiday by any other name

So I have the day off today. In fact, a great deal of Canadians have today off. Unlike Canada Day, celebrated last month, with its clear purpose stated in the name, nobody seems sure what this day is supposed to be about. And I think that makes today a better a for better reflection of the diverse identities and spirit(s) that make up this country. Today is referred to, throughout the land, by a multipicity of names: some provinces identify it was a provincal holiday (New Brunswick day, for example); others call it the sadly generic "Civic Day", which means what exactly? for others till it's a regular old Monday. Even within provinces there can be differences and discrepancies. Most of Newfoudland celebrates "civic day" today with a day off, except the capitial city, St John's, which celebrates "Regatta Day" on Wednesday.

So what does day mean to me? A day off. But not really: I still have studying to do.

Listening to: Pink Martini's cover of "Que sera sera", which I heard in the pilot of "Dead Like Me".

Slicing through life like a samurai sword

So the Fringe is on.

One of the great joys of living in Winnipeg (there are a few) is the annual Fringer Festival. Hundreds of performers descend upon the city for 10 days of plays. Rachel usually takes that time as her vacation and watches plays all day for ten days. I've never been so lucky. Being a grad student and sessional instructor means you have to work when you can. I try to take in as many plays as I can, but this year, with the pressures of studying for comps, I've only seen one. But what a one.

I always catch TJ Dawe's shows at the Fringe. He's both funny and witty (not the same thing); he's more an essayist or stoy teller than a playwright. Anyway, I'm very glad I went. It was about the time Dawe worked as a bartender in England. Having been in England recently, I could relate to a lot about what he said about the differences in words and meaning. There's something SO, SO wrong with asking people where the toilet is. You say washroom, and they stare at you like you have two heads. Freaky Brits.

So I'm cat sitting... not sitting on cats, mind you, but there was that rather close call last night. Our across the street neighbours are on vacation and asked if we could watch their two cats. Not being a cat person, having never even owned a pet larger then a small rat, I, of course, said: "sure glad to." Actually they're really good cats, not aloof and uninterested like so many I have encountered over the years. They follow me around the house, sit with me while I watch tv or read... maybe they're just making sure I don't steal anything. Who knows. But, I guess as long as I remember to feed them twice a day, everything will be good.

So I rented a bunch of movies this weekend. There's Million Dollar Baby, The Avaitor and The Sea Inside. They're all critically accliamed, they're all films I want to see, but for some reason I just can't make myself watch them. The running times don't help: MDB is 138 minutes and Avaitor is a typical Scorcese 3 hour epic. Apparently somewhere over the past few years I've developed ADD or something. 80-85 minute movies are more my cup of tea. Unfortunately that pretty much only leaves Woody Allen films to watch... and I refuse to watch The Curse of the Jade Scorpion on general principle. I suppose mindless flicking through the television might be in order then

Listening to: the gentle breeze outside.

It's been almost two weeks since I returned from Newfoundland and I realized that I have told you all my final flight story: the dread tale of the Toronto to Winnipeg leg of our trip. So, sit back, kiddies. Get a nice big mug of hot chocolate, wrap yourself in your favourite blanket and enjoy...

Right, so the flight starts off smoothly enough. No screaming kids, the planes not too full. Rachel and I had another person in our row, but right before take off a stewartess told the woman that there were empty rows at the front of the plane and that she could move once the seat belt sign went off. Great, I thought. Only, once the seat belt sign went off, she didn't move. She put her headphones on and started watching television! Huh? What's up with that? Row to yourself with lots of room to stretch out or crammed in with a couple of strangers?

Eventually, after being told again she could move by the stewartess, she moved. But now the fun was beginning. The flight was a little choppy. The captain had warned us that there would be turbulence along the way, but for the first hour and a bit there was nothing too bad. Once we were kind of close to Winnipeg though, things were much worse. You see, boys and girls, Winnipeg was in the middle of a huge thunderstorm. We circled the city a few times, with our cloud-eye view of the lightening. Then the captain informs us that the plane's being diverted to Kenora Ontario to wait out the storm and to re-fuel. What's in Kenroa, you ask? Big, fat nothing! I'm surprised there was a run-way big enough to accomodate our plane. So we land, they turn the televisions back on and everything's quiet for 25-30 minutes. I look out and see the fuel truck filling up the plane. Oh good, I thought, we'll soon be on our way.

"This is your captain agin, folks. We have our new flight plan from Westjet, but it seems that the fuel truck has, well, run out of fuel. It'll be just a few more minutes here in Kenora." I'm sorry, what? The fuel truck ran out of fuel? The FUEL TRUCK?! Where does a fuel truck have to go to refuel? Where ever it went, it toook about 20 more minutes. By this time it's 10:30 or so at night. I'm tired and getting grumpy and a little hungry.

We finally take off and it's about 20 minutes to Winnipeg. And those twenty minutes felt like an hour. I have NEVER felt turbulance like that. The plane didn't shake up and down, like planes do in the movies; this plane was kind of sliding, one wing moving in front of the other. Stomach in my throat, I gripped the armrest of my seat and closed my eyes.

When we finally landed, the captain camer back on the PA to inform us that we'd be taxi-ing to the gate but, because of the storm, our bags might not be unloaded. Great. People are groaning audibly now.

When we finally deplane, a long line forms in front of the sliding glass door leading into the airport. Seems the airports closed. After a Westjet employee runs back from the plane with the keys, we can finally enter the Winnipeg airport... to the sound of the baggage carousel starting up, and our bags arriving.

After waiting 20 minutes in the pouring rain for a cab we get home by 1:00am... to a flooded bedroom. Seems someone turned our airconditioner on and it leaked all over the floor.

And now a Monday Mission...

1. Do you wear glasses/contact lenses?

No, I don't. Both my parents do and I read a LOT: I figured that glasses were inevietable. Go figure.

2. Did you ever have to wear braces? How are your teeth? (any cavities, any pulled teeth, root canals, etc.)

Groan. Yes I had braces... cut the crap out of the inside of my lip. Have also had more than my fair share of dental procedures: cavities (though none in a while), pulled teeth (four, thank you very much), wisdom teeth out, a rather painful root canal and, most recently, gun grafting. I don't get it. I brush, I floss (not as regularly as I should mind you, but still), I don't eat a lot of junk food. So what's the deal-io?

3. What (if any) recent movies have moved you emotionally? Which one and how so?

To be honest, Batman Begins moved me. That might sounds weird, but I was a huge Batman fan growing up, but everytime they tried to transfer the comic hero to television or film, it sucked. I'm in a minority here, I know, but I didn't care for Burton's Batman. It was dark, sure, but it was also very convulated and silly. Nolan's film was gritty and real. Seeing something I had been waiting for for so long moved me. Not to tears or anything; I'm not a sissy-boy.

4. Would you rather live the remainder of your golden years in a rest home, or pass away before it came to that?

I don't know. The thought of being totally taken care of appeals to me, but would I really be lucid enough to enjoy it?

5. What natural creation or phenomenon just flat-out leaves you with a sense of wonder?

Thunderstorms, hurricanes, tidal waves. Anything where Nature shows her dominace over us.

6. Have you ever been in a fist fight or a situation where you had to get physically violent with someone else? How did that come about? Any consequences?

Despite my recent airport desire to punch a whole lot of people in thier big, fat heads, I have only been in one fist fight in my life. Apparently I don't do the whole thing particularly well.

So there was this gi-normous thunderstorm here in Winnipeg Saturday night: trees toppled, basements flooded, powerlines downed, young girls carried off to magic lands. I watched it for a while. It was really beautiful, the lightening streaking the sky; almost quaint. Of course the next day, seeing the damage left behind was something else. Luckily this time our car was damaged, though a large branch fell from the tree in front of our house (hitting our neighbour's van). I got to thinking about how safe we think we are, yet Nature can, at any time, step in and kick the living crap out of us.

Got to play drums last night for a friend. Got to play more "fun" songs than I'm used to. It was a blast. Admittedly, there were times I got carried away with myself and sort of lost the beat , but que sera sera; I found it quickly enough.

Listening to: John Coltrane's "My Favourite Things"

There's no place I can be, since I found serenity

It all started with Angel.

Rachel bought season 5; I was curious/bored/whatver and watched it. Intriqued by a quirky little drama about a vampire and his demon-slaying sidekicks, I agreed to start the series over, watching from season one... but, I insisted, no Buffy. Silly me.

After about a million questions about some of the Buffy-related history of the Angel characters, I, head hung down in shame, relented: I will watch Buffy. And, know what? I like it! Shhhh, don't tell anyone.

This week we took a break from our favourite vampire slayer to watch yet another Joss Whedon show: Firefly. Learning a little bit from the past, I did not fight watching this show.

Firefly is some seriously good television, people. It's sci-fi, and I know that's not everytone's cup of tea, but this is sci-fi at it's best: no silly aliens, no techno-jargon, just solid story telling and strong, interesting characters. It's a shame that crap like Home Improvement or Everybody Loves Raymond can run for millenia, but a smart, thoughtful show like Firefly gets cancelled before a full season is up. Come on; even Joanie Loves Chaci got a season! Althoug there are many loose ends left by the show's urupt cancellation, fear not: there's a movie (rumoured to be the first of three) coming out this fall.

Listening to: the soft hum of the fan and 'Round About Midnight by the Miles Davis Quintet. There are few things in the world better than a Miles Davis solo.

All right, I'm back from an amazing vacation in St John's, Newfoundland. Seriously, one of the friendliest places on earth. Saw some whales, ate some fish and chips, and walked roughly thirty seven hundred miles. As awesome as the trip was, I came to realize soemthing about flying: I am the absolutely worst version of myself when I fly. All the stupid little things people do that I can usually shrug off drive me MENTAL when I'm strapped into a cramped, leatherette chair at 30'000 feet. If I'm ever going to commit murder, I'll be doing on the plane. Example: on the way back to Toronto we had a stop over in Moncton. This family (mom, dad and two kids) get on. The mom and the kids sit on one side of the plane, the dad sits a few rows up and on the opposite side of the plane (and directly behind me). They talked back and forth to each other the WHOLE way. Apparently the dad thought the flight needed uninformed play-by-play commentating (maybe it was the lack of inflight movie or even radio?): "Hey I think that's the St Laurence... Yeah, I think that's it. St. Laurence, maybe?" Golly, THAT was far more entertaining than the book I was trying to read. Cretin.

I loved getting to go swimming with god-daughter, Delphine. If flying turns me into the dread bastard-Mike, few things make me more benevolent and happy Mike than Del. The idea of swimming was just so exciting to her. Even though it was a little cool and her little lip was shivering, she couldn't contain her excitement at being in the water!

One of the best things we did in St. John's was the Haunted Hike. If any of you are heading to the Rock, I strongly suggest you go along for this merry, morbid and macabre tour.

I'll post more about my trip in the days to come. Til then:

Listening to: Milestones, Miles Davis.

Well, my movie's been viewed an astonishing 24 times - astonishing in that I can't imagine that I know 24 people who might come here to visit and read my ramblings. I'll just believe that a number of those viewings are repeats... but then again, even that's somewhat hard to believe.

I finally saw Batman Begins today... jaw droppingly good. I've been running hot/cold when it comes to comic book movies. For every Batman Begins, there's a Fantastic Four slouching towards Bethlehem. When done correctly, comic-films play into our natural desire for heroes - heroes who are both us and more than us.

Unlike a lot of people I know, I wasn't a huge fan of the two Tim Burton Batman films (though they were Citizen freakin' Kane compared to the rest of that series). You see, I've been a fan of Batman for as long as I can remember reading comic books. I loved the idea of the lone (or almost lone if you count Robin) figure fighting for justice in a corrupt world. But more then that, Batman is a beautiful contrast to the comic book heroes whose enemies were defeated through superhuman strength or speed; Batman, though strong and trained in various fighting styles, is a normal man. He is a detective, who uses all his mind and strength to beat his nemeses. Burton's vision was too cartoony for my tastes; dark cartoony to be sure, but cartoony nevertheless. It missed the believability so crucial to Batman's world.

Christopher Nolan's vision of Gotham (and the whole story of Batman) is far more realistic - the Wayne business, the famous toys are explained (someone has to make these things for Batman) and, most interesting for me, the psychology of the characters. Sure it's melodramatic, but, with its firm grounding in realism, it's melodrama in the very best sense of the word: sensational drama with heightened emotions. In an interview with Cinescope, my PhD advisor and brilliant screenwriter, George Toles, commented that in order to make films with fantastic subjects, the writer/director must ground that subject in the mundane and every day. So, the incredible Technicolor land of Oz in The Wizard of Oz needs to be grounded in the dull, sepia cornfields of Kansas. Nolan's Gotham is perfectly grounded.

Listening to: Miles Davis' "Kind of Blue... 'cause it's a kind of blue sort of day.

It's a reasonable 20 degrees today. No sweat... literally. The neighbourhood's a buzz with activity. People out mowing their yards, planting things in their gardens. And I'm inside, watching it all from the window.

Leaving for Newfoundland in a few days. Still have to pack and all that goodness, but I'm not worried. It'll be nice to get away for a week. First part of the trip will be occupied with Rachel's friend's wedding, but after that we can do whatever.

Looks like I'll finally be getting to Batman Begins tomorrow, so that's a good thing.


Listening to: "Black Stacey" by Saul Williams.

It's a like million degrees here in the Peg and uber-humid... gotta love the thin layer of sweat that NEVER GOES AWAY!

Shamefully stolen from my friend Jaimie at http://www.livejournal.com/~ardently/
01. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie/icon reminds me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.

So, today was the first nice, summer-like Saturday here in Manitoba. We're talkin' sunshine and lollipops and a solid forty mile-an-hour wind. All through the neighbourhood were signs of the beginning of summer; well, actually there were signs for garage sales, but in this part of Winnipeg they’re pretty much the same signs. It was incredible; probably a dozen such sales in a 10 block radius of my house. Everyone trying to sell off the crap they inexplicably purchased at garage sales last years. Why are we so convinced that 3 legged tables and coffee mugs that boast "World's Best Fishermen" are "bargains" at any price? Sure, that waffle iron sans cord was only 35 cents, but surely that change could have been better spent elsewhere?

Of course, the only reason to go to a Garage Sale (IMHO) is the scour the used books. Mostly, you'll be seeing 30 year old Harlequin Romances, with titles like "Rogue's Reunion" and "Blind Passion" or pot boiler suspense novels by authors you've never heard of. But every one and a while you'll come across something wondrous. You just have sort through arm-fulls of Joyce's Dilemmas and Canary Affairs to find it.

Listening to: Let Me Get What I Want - the Smiths.

All right, kiddies. Not much going on here again today, though I'm actually have fun at work today. One of the books we're publishing in the next little while is a book on Winnipeg in 1912. My boss is interested in tracking down some information on the vaudville curcuit that ran through here then. See, here's the story. Once, while here on tour, Groucho Marx was passing a theatre and heard uproarious laughter. Curious, Groucho went in and saw a young comic named Charlie Chaplin on stage. Impressed, Groucho returned later with his brothers to meet Chaplin. It's also told that the Marx invited Chaplin to their show, where he dramatically read a newspaper during their performance. At Chaplin's next show four orthodox rabbis sat in the seats he'd reserved for the Marx Brothers. The problem here is figuring what's truth and what's comedians telling stories. Regardless, I find it mindboggling that all of the great geniuses of film comedy performed here: Buster Keaton, WC Fields, Fatty Arbuckle all made their way through here on one of the vaudville tours. Crazy! Motley Crue was through here last year... so that's sort of the same, I guess. All right, it's not the same at all.


It also seems that I'm getting record (well, for me) traffic here. My short film has been viewed 20 times now. I've only heard back from a couple of people, but the overwhelming opinion is that it made them "sad". That's cool. Emotion, any emotion, is good, right?

Listening to: "Clint Eastwood" Gorillaz
"Bet you didn't think so I command you to"

Wednesday and not an interesting thing to say.

Things have been kind of slow this week in the not very exciting wrld of Mike". Truth be told I'm still sort of recovering from the weekend. Two late nights (friday and sunday), little napping and early rising (6:45am Monday) have left me groggy and grumpy (as my wife can attest). Just sort of zombie-shuffling my way through the days.

Started the second season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer yesterday. Really enjoying it... though I did swear I would never watch a show with the word "Buff" in the title.

Listening to: the constant, reassuring hum of the janitor's vaccuum cleaner

Serving up a big steamin' pile of Friday Five. On Saturday. Shut up, please.

1. What's the last song you heard?
Drowning Pool, "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor"

2. What were the last two movies you watched?
That would have to be Kevin Smith's Jersey Girl and David Lean's Brief Encounter

3. What were the last three things you purchased?
Oh, this one's easy: two coffees at work on Thursday because no one for the office remembered to bring in a new tin o'coffee and a big ol' bottle of Diet Pepsi on Wednesday to feed my aspertane addiction.

4. What four things do you have to do this weekend?
Um, let's see. I have to call my parents, email Chris and Jenn (that's one thing; they're a couple), read some books, and, seeing as my coffee cup is now empty, ake more coffee.

5. Who were the last five people you talked to?
Rachel, Jonathan, Bobby, Tommy, Edgar.

So, it's Thursday: at least that's what the calander says. My body seems to dispute all evidence to that fact. I feel like it's Friday... that I should be home, sleeping, watching movies or even studying (which I really do).

All right: I've come to a decision! Veronica Mars was the best new show last year, narrowly edging out House and blowing away Joey (for which I held low to no expections). For those of you not hip to the Mars, it's the story of a small town highschool girl who's best friend was murdered about a year before the show begins. Her father, the former sheriff and current private detective, suspects that the girl's parents are guilty, not a popular opinion. Veronica, isolated and ostracized from her former friends, works for her father, but often finds herself going into business for hereself. What I like about the show is the sense of a greater story being told: while the final episode reveals the truth about the friend's murder, clues and leads are sprinkeld throughout the entire season, which makes it seem like some thought and planning went into the show. In a medium where lack of forethought and vision are the order of the day, VM is a smart, well plotted welcome to network TV. If you haven't caught VM, check it out this summer in reruns.


I hear the secrets that you keep, when you're talking in your sleep.

1) Total number of books owned:
Oh, boy. We just bought three large bookcases (to go along with three other large bookcases) in the past few months and there are still books piled up in closets. Both Rachel and I did English degrees, so we have TONS of books. Plus, one of the main perks of teaching is the free books,so I'm always getting more.

2) The last book I bought?
Hmmm, I guess the last one I bought was a Jeeves and Wooster omnibus from Amazon.

3) The last book I read?
I'm in the middle of both Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell and Vile Bodies. The last one I finished was Handful of Dust.

4) Five books that mean a lot to me?
1) The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - a magical book I reread often (and fondly)
2) Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - few authors have captured how horrible it can be to be a teenager
3) Catcher in the Rye - see #2
4) High Fidelity - if I'm honest with myself, I'm far more like Rob than I would ever want to admit
5) On the Road - in another life, I wish I could be Jack Kerouac

Comic Books:
1) Maus - without question, the most powerful comic ever written
2) Dark Knight Returns - Batman in Regan's America; brillant
3) Crow - when I first read it (well before the film) it was unique
4) Ghost World - one of the first "non-superhero" comics I read and it showed me the potential of the medium.

You can't always get what you want, but if you try some time, you might find, you get what you need.

Last night I was indeed surprised. A group of friends had a little appreciation party for me and another friend, Rob. I could totally see have a party for Rob; he's leaving in a week or so, first to some camp for the summer, then to Edmonton. But me? After feeling really discouraged the past couple of weeks, an appreciation party (complete with ice cream cake) was a huge boost. Some of my friends are awesome.

Listening to: the loud jerk teaching downstairs; seriously, he's a floor away, his door's closed, my door's closed and I can still hear him.

A friend of mine was telling me about her adventures at a new kickboxing place. Seems she's been kickboxing for awhile now, but, since she recently moved, hadn't found a new place to train. And I have to admit, I was a little jealous reading about the kicking and the boxin; even the hyperextending an elbow sounded like a lot of fun. See, I always wanted to take some sort of martial art - I was a huge fan of kung-fu films (still am) and I always wanted to learn. In University I made the mistake of making a little bit of fun of someone who'd started taking Taekwon Do.... she promptly threw me across the room. And I mean threw: my feet left the ground and I hit a wall.

The problem is that I'm kind of old to be starting now. Going to a beginner's class and getting my butt served to me by a bunch of schoo children doesn't sound that appealing. Self esteem's low enoguh with being beaten up by someone 25 years younger than me. Plus, I'll never get my flexibility to a level to do those awesome jumps or high spin kicks; like David Carradine in Kung Fu the Legend Continues I'd be stuck doing lame low to mid kicks. And who wants to do those? No one, that's who.

Listening to: Dandy Warhols "We Just to be Friends"

All right, hip cats and cool ladies: I'm disparaging the lack of accomplishment in my life. Before I tuned into Veronica Mars (which has the potential to be a new favourite) last night, I flipped past Fear Factor (which I never watch) and there was someone I went to high school with. Not only that but it was a "best winners" episode - so she's already been on once and won. She's a celebrity trainer out in LA now; she "trains" Queen Latifah, which was suspiciously mentioned prominently by host, Joe Rogan. This got me to thinking: what, if anything, have I done with my life? Sure I've taught a few classes here in there, some of which were successful, some of which weren't; I've watched a bunch of movies; I've made consider progress on the Mike-shape ass groove in my couch. But nothing big. Not that I consider eating pig rectums or jumping off a moving truck or whatever the hell else people do on Fear Factor an "accomplishment," but there's an undisputable, tangible success that comes from being on television.

Listening to: Public Enemy's "Fight the Power," before that "We Used to be Friends" by the Dandy Warhols.

And how 'bout an old Monday Mission?

1. How old will you be on your next birthday?

31...Shut up.

2. One of the presents I was given for my birthday was a "George Foreman Grill." I've always joked about them, so it was kind of a joke gift. But it turns out, it is a really neat little grill. Then it hit me, this is a gadget, except it is for the kitchen. Then I thought about it and realized that "gadgets" aren't just techno-toys, gadgets are everywhere. What is your favorite gadget?

MP3 Player... and my DVD player.

3. Tell me about someone that you reconnected with after several years ago. What caused the separation? Has enough time passed? Do you still get along?

Actually I lose contact with people all the time. People are always ebbing and flowing into my life. Usually it's just time and distance that causes it. Can't think of anyone I lost contact with because of a fight. What's very cool is when people you thought you'd never hear from again pop back into your life and they're even cooler than you remembered (and you remembered them being pretty cool). I've reconnected with a few "old' friends in the past year or so. With any luck, they think half as much of me as I think of them.

4. I've not met many online friends in real-life (I.R.L.), but I've always assumed we'd get along great if we met. But then again, if we would since my online personality (brash, outgoing) seems so different from how I see my RL offline version (introverted). Is there a difference between your online personality and your real-life version? Or are you pretty much the same person either way?

I think I'm pretty much the same as my on-line counterpart... though he's probably a little more eloquent, 'cause with posting I have time to think up witty responses and edit them just right.

5. Being the quiet type, I have often felt like the online world has given me a greater chance to meet people I'd never meet IRL. In fact, I would bet that I would have never met any of you IRL if we had been in the same bookstore or coffee shop. Is this true for you?

I guess, but look at the people who do speak to strangers: insane people on buses wearing tinfoil headgear and plastic bags on their feet... If that's what's out there, no thank you. In truth, I'm an intensely shy person who rarely "makes the first step' at talking to people. Even people I know. Seriously I have a group of "friends" who out and out ignore at times - really, I can be standing beside them and they not say a word; or I can be sitting by myself and they sit somewhere else. Sometimes I think most people aren't even worth the effort.... but some are.

6. There are times when I just want to tell someone off. I don't usually, since I have to work with them. Sometimes it is a family member and that would be even worse on down the road if I cut loose. If you could just verbally let loose on someone and be able to say anything you want, without repercussions, who would you say it to and what would you say?
I'm just gonna refuse to answer this one... not like they’d have seen it coming anyway

BONUS: Are we alive or just a dying planet?
Dying... who wants to know?

Was it Socrates or the Boomtown Rats who quipped, "I don't like Mondays"? Profound, whichever of them said it. When my alarm rang early this morning, I had that sinking feeling that this Monday was not going to be liked. I was met with a huge crapload of work. My boss is away this week but he managed to dig up and assign every marginally important task to me before me left. As a result I've spent a large part of the morning lifting heavy boxes of books in an asbestous filled basement. So, though I may have contracted cancer, the boxes are on their way to Toronto... lucky boxes.

The weekend was pretty good, but like most good things, over far too quickly. Saturday was a bit of a bust - spent most of the day watching Six Feet Under (which has become for me, once again, the epitome of how great television can be). Sunday I had a Bar BQ, and, though it rained for most of time, it was a success. After the hotdogs and hamburgers were consumed, some friends and I went and spent the rest of the day playing poker and video games.

All right, it's Friday. How bout a Friday Five?

1. What is the one book that you reread over and over again?
Recently, it's been the Nick Hornby books High Fidelity and About a Boy , but I also re-read the Sherlock Holmes stories every few years.
2. What is your favourite genre?
Couldn't pick one.
3. Do you usually buy your books or visit the library?
Um, I prefer buy them, but with the amount I have to read, I do rely on the library.
4. Who is your favourite author?
To pick just one is so unfair. Here's a quick list culled from a glance aorund the book shelves: Nick Hornby, Ernest Hemingway, Evelyn Waugh, Italo Calvino, GG Marquez, AS Byatt
5. What book have you read that you absolutely hated?
That Dee Dee Ramone book is still the worse work of fiction I've ever read. The worst book period was something that a colleague shared with me a few months ago - it was a self-published religious work... and it was AWFUL.

My devilish wife rented the second season of Six Feet Under yesterday. We only have it for a week... 13 episodes, an hour each, 6 days? No problem. Guess Evelyn Waugh can wait a little bit longer.

Listening to: RJD2 - he's a DJ; imagine the Cars and Jam Master Jay had a kid.

Hey coolcats. Bored? Lonely? Here's a little sumptin' sumptin' to pass away those long afternoons. Enjoy.Birthday

I'm goin through this totally bizzare musical nostaglia phase where I'm going through old favourites, television theme songs and songs I think I heard on the radio at some point in my teenage years. Seriously, everything from Weird Al and the Dukes of Hazzard theme to the Smiths and De La Soul is on my current I Tunes playlist. It's embarassing. I've purposely put on Velvet Underground in an attempt to erase the memories...

Hey, know what I haven't done in a while? A Monday Mission. And true to form, it's Wednesday. Sue me.

1. Ever considered just deleting your Blog and not doing it anymore? What prompted that and what stopped you?

I stop all the time, because I'm a lazy, shiftless loser. Haven't thought about deleting it. No one reads it. If a blog is never read is it even there at all?

2. How about a quick review of the last movie you saw?

Bloody.

3. What's your favorite gadget? Are you lusting for any new ones? Will you ever be satisified???

I love my mp3 player, but I'd love an I-Pod even more. So, no. I will never be satisfied.

4. Saturday night I played "UNO" for the first time in years, I mean it has been over 10 years since I played it. It was great fun, but it really made me want to learn how to play Backgammon again. What "table game" do you enjoy playing most with other people? Have you played it lately?

I don't really like games. The people get too competive and that turns me off. I sometimes play Settlers of Catan.

5. About a year ago I was obsessed with loosing weight, and I dropped pretty low before I got a handle on things (I've actually gained about 8 pounds of it back, and it is still a struggle sometimes to not try to loose it). Thankfully, I like fattening sweets and buttery popcorn too much to live like that for too long. Have you ever been obsessed with something so much that it was close to causing you physical or mental harm? If not, have you known anyone else who has?

Do people count? Kidding. Not really

6. Did you grow up in a family or community that displayed racist or prejudice attitudes? Did it influence you in any way, either toward or away from those views? How did you manage to avoid it, or did you?

One of my grandfathers was horribly racist - though I never saw it until I was old enough to know that it was really wrong. And I'm prejudiced against stupid people and attractive people.

7. Good grief, I am starving! You got anything to eat around here?
Go eat at home, ya Mooch.

BONUS: What did you tell them?

I told them exactly what they wanted to hear.

Started watching Seven Samurai last night. Damn, that's a great film. Because I started so late, I was only at 20 minutes in when I had to go to bed (work today means early to rise). Hopefully I'll get to go back to it tonight.

So I'm 30. And I think I'll all right with it. I was feeling a little wary of the whole 30 thing, but I'm at peace. My birthday was very uneventful. (How to say these cryptically) I thought some people would want to make a bigger deal out of it, but you can't really tell people that they should want to throw you a party, can you? But enough of that. Whatever.

Saw Star Wars: Episode 3 on Saturday. Must say, I thought it was easily the best of the new trilogy (not that that was a great feat - the elusive Star Wars Christmas Special is better than that mess called the Phantom Menace). The dark side was well represented, including slaughtered Jedi children. Lucas' main problem is still style over substance. The special effects become too prominent, too overwhelming. There are too many ships, shooting too many lasers.

Listening to: the faint hum of my CPU.

All right, so I watched the much hyped season finale of CSI last night. Now, I'm a big fan of both CSI and Tarintino, so I knew I was in for two hours of good television. And boy, was I right. Some people have argued that the reason cable stations are, by and large, putting out the highest quality television of all time (Soporanos, Six Feet Under) is that they're not restricted by the same censorship standards that regular TV is. This argument has always seemed, at least to me, ridiculous. Swearing, nudity and excessive violence doesn't make better tv. It's the solid storytelling, which is what CSI delivered.

Last night's CSI reminded me of the highest quality fan fiction, like Nicholas Meyer's Seven Percent Solution. When someone truly loves the source material they include the little details that fans know. Whether it's Holmes' tabacco filled slipper or Grissom's blood filled heads, fans treat the details of the original material with a reverence and try to cram as many of those details into their story.

Of course, being Tarintino, there's also the pop-culture heavy story telling as well: Tony Curtis and the (very recently)late Frank Gorshin talking about old Vegas, Hodges and Greg playing the Dukes of Hazzard board game, and classic 70s baddy, John Saxon setting the whole thing in motion.

My only problem was the lack of Sara Sidle. Sara's my favourite character on the show; she's got this great untapped backstory; she's got an unresolved emotional attachment to Grissom; she's laregly unaware of Greg's attraction. While I see why Nick was a good choice to put in the box (everyone likes Nick, he's like everyone's brother), Sara would have been an equally interesting choice to have been kidnapped.

All in all, I was really satisfied. The final shot, the team watching Nick's ambulance pull away, was the perfect note to end the season on. The wear of a long night, the emotional strain of the evening still visible on all their faces made Grissom's last line all the more poignant: "I want my guys back." Only after such a night could the stoic Grissom make such an honest heart felt request to Ecklie.

Listening to: Tom Waits' "Downtown Train"

Well, it's Wednesday... and it's raining.

Blah day. hope summer comes soon, 'cause this crappy weather is really getting me down.

I'm waiting for a shipment of books here at work, and there's nothing really to do until they come so I thought I'd take a bit of time and blog.

So, what's new? The new Star Wars movie comes out tonight at midnight, and I must say I'm surprised by how much I want to see it. Like most people my age I was a huge fan of the original trilogy. I remember going to see Star Wars/Empire double bills back in 82. My friends and I would play Star Wars, most of us had the toys (in fact I think I still have a box of them in my parents' attic). When the first of the new trilogy opened I went with great excitement and expectations... they were quickly dashed. Have you seen the Simpsons' Star Wars spoof, where Homer, Bart and Lisa go to the new Space movie and it's all about politics and trade embargos? That's EXACTLY what i thought of Episode One. Tariffs? Intergalactic captialism? Boring. Sure some of the Jedi stuff was cool - by that time Special FX made the sword fights even more spectular - but on the whole I was extremely disappointed.

When I got back from seeing Episode One, I put on my letterboxed Star Wars (the pre-Special Edition) and... was disappointed once again. The first Star Wars movie just isn't that good either. The acting is... well, it's not always great (Luke's just a whiny snot-nosed kid); and by this time I realized that the plot was just lifted from old Flash Gordon flicks and Akira Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortess.

Not long after this I sold my leatherette bound letterboxed set with hologram cover.

After reading a few reviews of Episode three, my interest was peaked. Part of my problem with Episode One was that it felt like a kid's film, as opposed to a PG action film. Everything I've read about Episode 3 stresses the darkness of the plot. Perfect. I can only hope Jar Jar Binks is disembowelled by someone.

I watched Empire and Jedi this weekend, and was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed them. Empire's still my favourite of the films, but Jedi has some nice stuff in it (aside from the innocently erotic Leia bikini scenes). If Three is the new trilogy's Empire, they're on the right track.

Listening to: Tom Waits' Tango til They're Sore
Watched Last Night: House MD - easily one of my favourite shows currently running.
Tonight: Alias!

Right... it's lunch time on a Thursday. And here I sit. Bored and sore. I decided to start wokring out this week. Not sure if it's going to be a "continue-on" type thing. Starting out kind of slow to, you know, get back into the feel of using my muscles again (what muscles? you ask; shut up, I say). Did these things called hindi squats, which Indian wrestlers have used for years to build strength and endurance. Now I don't want to sa my legs are burning... but my legs are burning. Seriously. I walk like John Wayne. It's taking 15 minutes to walk down the hall to go to the bathroom. Whenever I try to walk some place, I just sort of point myself in the direction I want to go and stumble along as best I can, and try not to lift my feet any more then I have to. Whenever I have to sit down I just sort of aim and plant myself, which can really hurt if the chair is low. If this is the price of being in shape, I seriously question the sanity of workout people. I may get winded going up the stairs but at least i can walk normally on a flat service.

I've been checking out the Clone Wars micro series that aired on Cartoon Network. All i can say is, "Holy Crap." Check them out! If only SW Episode 1 and 2 were this good: cool Jedi fights, no Jar-Jar Binks and very little of the highly annoying and highly convulted trade embargo-ing aliens. Apparently Lucas has decided to use General Grievous, one of the cooler villians, in Episode 3. Good move, George. I hope they turn this into a regular series, maybe focus on other Jedi battles during the Clone Wars. A regular high quality Star Wars animated television series would wipe away the bad taste in my mouth left from those crappy Ewoks tv movies, and the Droid/Ewok Adventure Hour.

Listening to: Gorillaz' "Clint Eastwood"! Del the Funky Homosapien RULES!

So it's May... May 2nd to be precise. And later this month I turn (wait for it) 30. That's right: the big three oh, baby. Scary? You betcha.

And I can't figure out if I want to celebrate it. On the one hand I recognize it as some sort of milestone... but it's not like we live in the 13th century where reaching the age of 30 was a major feat. I guess if other people want to celebrate it (or remember to) I will too.

Saw Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on Friday night. I'm not surprised by the mixed reactions from the various pop-critics: British humour's an aquired taste. If you liked the books, you'll like the film. If you don't like the books, why bother? Personally, I couldn't think of a better everyman than Martin Freeman. This guy's a brillant comic actor. When I first saw him in the Office I thought, if he get a chance to shine, he will.

What am I listeing to: People Ain't No Good, Nick Cave and the Bad Seed

It's hard to believe that it's been months since I've posted anything. Well, maybe not that hard. I mean, it's not like anyone bothers to check this thing.
So, what's new?

Let's see: semester's over (finally); all my grading's done and submitted. I'm currently trying to figure out what books to put on my courses for next year; I'll be teaching Academic Writing (which I've never taught before), 20th Century Lit and Representative Lit (both of which I've taught many times before).

Currently reading: Handful of Dust by Evelyn Waugh and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Supposed to go see the film, tomorrow, so I thought I'd try to figure what the heck supposed to be happening.

Listining to: u, nothing at the moment, though I had the Beatles cd in the car for the past few trips. I'm seriosuly considering putting the Sgt Pepper disc on my 20th Century lit course. Maybe...